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Well yesterday I posted about how I had this strange feeling that my ex wanted me to reach out to her.
I got two texts from her last night. Didn’t respond.
I feel better today though 😀
Thanks Dara.
This isn’t the first week for me though. Not exactly. I broke the initial NC to tell my ex that we found a renter for our place, and then about 10 days of NC after that she managed to bait me into replying to her.
But yes, I really hope it’s just a weak day and things will get better again moving forward.
Just posting because I feel pretty weak today. About 5 days since last contact. Getting this vibe that she really wants me to reach out and talk to her.
But I won’t.
Hopefully it will subside as the day goes on.
Hah, well I don’t know if I’d say I’m at peace with everything since I still want her back right now. But going forward, I think I’ll be okay. And she’ll be okay. I really do want her to be happy.
I might not want her back in a couple of months though. After all, she did leave me when I was immensely stressed about the situation we were in which just made things so much worse for me. But I bounced back. Got myself back on my feet, by myself. For myself. I don’t think I’d ever hate her for it, but I’m not entirely sure if I’ll keep wanting to be in a relationship with her.
Yes, I had the same thought. “She doesn’t think I really love her.. so I’ll prove it to her!” And that’s when I caved in and pleaded with her to meet me in person and reconsider. It didn’t really go well, though I do think it made her feel really sad and confused.
It’s what we’re all kind of conditioned to believe though isn’t it? Seems like every movie with a romance is a man losing his love then ending up fighting for her and winning her back to live happily ever after. Reality is different though.
There’s another saying that you shouldn’t forget:
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
I apologize if I came off harsh, but it’s the truth. NC and give it time. You’ll have your ups, your downs, but it has to be done. Everyone here wants an immediate fix to their situation, but the sad reality is that it’s gonna take time. Could be months, could be years, but if you truly love her, and she loves you, then it’ll be worth the wait once you’re both in better positions. Use the pain and frustration of the situation to fuel yourself to be better in your personal life. That’s what I did.
For me it’s been about a month since my ex broke up with me. Now when I look back at how I was the first few days I feel a bit embarrassed with myself.
sevensevens, relax a bit. I know it’s hard. It’s been like 5 or 6 weeks since I was in your position. I felt like I’d maul a bear to death to get back with my ex, but nothing you do right now is logical. It’s all the emotions speaking, man.
Don’t worry about hurting her. SHE made the choice to walk out of your life. You don’t owe her anything. You don’t have to be her friend, you don’t have to comfort her. It’s best to think of yourself. If you moved down there would it work out? Do you trust her not to leave you again in a month or two? It’s a desperate situation to be in, I know. Everyone on this board knows, but right now the best advice anyone can give you is to just relax and try to get your head straight.
About your career.. if you put everything you had into it, yet “failed” would you see it as a waste? Do you see it as a journey or a destination? If you don’t achieve your ultimate goal that doesn’t necessarily mean it wasn’t worth it all along as long as you enjoyed the ride.. the journey.
I don’t think a woman truly wants a man to give his all to her. She said it was a very attractive thing that you had a dreams you were very very passionate about. The problem is that it wasn’t a stable enough dream for that particular woman’s needs.
I’m not saying to give up and throw in the towel on her, but I do think potentially giving up your dreams is something you really need to think about..
If you want to start NC, but don’t want her to be mad and think you’re ignoring her then you need to tell her that you guys are stopping contact for awhile. If that’s the route you take, then I would wait for her to start contact with you and then tell her if that’s what you want.
I’m not sure really. I think since you mentioned she was super introverted and wasn’t very comfortable with going out and meeting new people, and the fact that she seemed to really want you to focus on a career that isn’t music makes it seem like she wants rock solid stability in her life.
But beyond NC or LC, you have to really think for the future. I can see that you have great passion and dedication to your music. Would you really give it all up for her? Your answer today seems to be yes, but what about in a month? Or 6? Or 5 years? If you did give it up for her do you think you’d regret it or resent her for it?
I know how you’re feeling, and it’s rough. Gotta keep in mind though is that love makes you do crazy things..
If you’re really set on maintaining contact, be wary. For all we know she could be trying to ween herself off of you slowly.
I’d say really just stick to NC right now. It’s very likely that she has thought about this for quite awhile, and was internally rationalizing it in her head. She’s probably riding on some kind of high right now, thinking it’s for the best, that she can’t go back on her decision, that it had to be this way, that you’re better off without her, ect. If you give her the time and space to think about it and miss you and everything you guys did together eventually she’ll start to falter.
