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It’s okay, you can talk all you want about your situation. I think yours is worse than mine… we’re just college students, we never got to live together. But we did have a very strong and intimate connection. He was so sweet… So caring. He would get depressed when I had a problem and he couldn’t do anything to help me. He’s the man of my dreams. We had everything. That’s why I’m so desperate to get him back… And I imagine how you must be feeling… Sharing a home together and then everything comes to an end… That must be a walk through hell to you as well…
But you, just like me, should be desperate to get him back. We all are, actually… I’ve been praying so hard for him to come back… The day he broke up with me, after pleading and begging, I had to go to the hospital with heart attack signs… I spent the night there because the doctors saw how dangerously unstable I was. Even so, I asked my dad to bring me my phone, and I contacted him, telling him what happened to me and asking him how he was doing. He ignored me. Even after I told him I was going to the hospital and he acted like he was worried. “Acted”. I said “Why would you want to know why I’m going to the hospital? After this, why would you care about me? It’s pretty obvious you don’t care how I feel.” and he said “Of course I care about you!”
Ever since, he didn’t say a word to me. He’s being colder than Antarctic Winter. That’s I think, though. Actually, I don’t know what’s going on in his heart or in his mind. What I do know is that I love him. I’ve already changed many things about me. But my love for him remains unchanged.
They don’t bother me because I miss him. I won’t pack the stuff he gave me either. I refuse to do it. I don’t know if he’s removing the source of pain or forcing himself to forget about me. Although I don’t know if that’s possible… I mean, he can’t forget about me just like that, right? Even if he packs all my stuff away, that can’t be possible, right?
Like I said, it’s been 2 weeks, but our relationship lasted 19 months. I have been working on my digital art and several other stuff. I’ve been working, basically, on the things he loved about me, so I can “rise from the ashes” and show him that he took a rash decision. I never showed him my photoshop artwork, but if I did, I’m almost certain he would be blown away. By now, I’m pretty aware of how awesome I am and that I don’t need him to be the awesome me. But I still love him. I’ve spent too much time with him. I got that woman intuition thought when I met him. “He’s the one. This is I what I want, alright.” But he deleted our pics, when I wasn’t able to do the same to the ones I have with me. I still haven’t got over that cold, heartless act of his…
It’s been 2 weeks since we broke up, and I feel like I’m walking through hell. He hasn’t contacted me at all yet, but still hasn’t blocked me on facebook and other social media. I just found out, while working on my art projects, that he deleted all our anniversary photos he took from our google drive shared folder. That just ripped my already broken heart… I wasn’t able to delete any of his photos from my phone, tablet or computer, I wasn’t able to pack the stuff he gave me, and then I find this out… He did this last week.
I’m having highs and lows. One moment I’m confident and I feel like a brand new person and the other I’m feeling horrible. During the day I feel good, but every night my subconscious can’t let go of him. I dream about him every night. For two weeks, I’ve been dreaming about him like crazy. And then I wake up feeling defeated…
I want him back. I don’t want our old relationship back. I just want to start things over with the man I love. I want to start a new and stronger relationship. I’m trying to hold on to my hopes, even though people around me are saying “Well, if he hasn’t come to you yet, then you have to give up. You deserve better than him. He was just spending time.” But I know that there’s no one better than him. I realize that we broke up because I wasn’t able to understand the signs he was showing me, that I wasn’t there when he needed me… That’s what I DON’T want to repeat.
I know that it’s just been two weeks and that I need to “stay away” from him for a month… But I’m still desperate. I already have a clue on how to start contact with him, but I’m scared that he will ignore me. And above all, I miss him like crazy. I just can’t believe how cold he could be to delete the memories of that so special day… I still love him… :'( I have no idea of what’s on his mind, or how he’s been doing.
When he broke up with me, he said he was still there for me if I needed him, but that’s not true at all, since he ignored me when I asked him how he was two days after the breakup. We could at least be friends… He was my best friend! 🙁 If we were to remain friends, I could try Relationship Rewind to get him back, but… I guess we’re not even friends… I don’t know how much time he needs to come to me… I wish I knew. If I could just establish a strong friendship with him, I could go from there…
Well, I came here to let out my feelings. I don’t think anyone deserves to go through this punishment, this torturous path… This is hell, alright. 🙁
Hope you guys are having success on getting your lovers back.
I still have pics of him in my phone. Of us together. I didn’t delete them. I didn’t put the stuff he gave me in a bag and pretend I don’t have them anymore. His gifts are still in my room. And once in a while I look at those pics. And I think “You’re so handsome… Look at us… Why did you leave me?” and I start crying.
I really hope he remembers the long trips and walks we had together. I hope he imagines me walking by his side and holding my hand while passing through the places we went together. Like you, I have been praying as well and I haven’t slept so well.
I hope he’s looking at the drawings I gave him and he’s using the perfumes I gave him and he’s writing with the metal pen with his name engraved in it. But I can’t be the needy girl he knew anymore. I have to be the woman that’s gonna make him drop to his knees and beg for me to come back to him. But is that ever gonna happen?
I remember him saying “You’re so different. The things you’re into… It’s so hard to find a girl like you.” I never said anything about that. But will that make him come back to me?
I have so many questions… Not about how I feel. It’s about how he’s feeling. But if he’s not over me yet and still loves me, like the email series is telling me, then why didn’t he say anything to me yet? Does he simply need time? How much time does he need? 🙁
Hey Paris, thanks for the reply… I will do as you say. I’ll try to be strong. But after I get to that state of mind of not needing him, how can I “discretely” show him that I’m a fresh new girl? Without asking him out, because he doesn’t want to meet me at all, for now. That’s where I want him, begging me to go back to him.
You see, I want him back. I love him like crazy. But I want him to stay with me permanently and never do this again. What if, if we get back and get married and have children, he out of the blue says “I don’t love you anymore, I’m leaving.”? No one wants this. What I want is to be the kind of girl that he’ll do anything to keep me. Just like he used to be before, doing all he can to make me happy. And he did make me happy. He was the first of the two of us to fall in love. And he got me a short time after… I remember him saying “How can I win your heart?” and I said “Well, you’re gonna have to be original. Be yourself.” Pretending not to like him when I was already crazy for him. And he did surprise me that day. This was 19 months ago… God, this hurts so much. 🙁
Thank you moonbunny… Yes, it’s pretty tough… I can’t stop thinking of him. Everyone is saying “Just forget him already! You’re too young to be feeling like this, you’ll find loads of other guys in your life.” Better said than done…
I can’t forget the times we went through together. I mean, no one around me is telling things that could help me. I repeat, I don’t want to move on! Sure, I need to improve myself. I need to work on the things that may have ruined our relationship. But… I wish he would call me right now and ask me for forgiveness, and saying he loves me truly and that he needs me and he was wrong. But he won’t. It’s no use checking my phone or my facebook constantly…
Even if he did, and even if I got back to him right away, what if he does the same to me again in the future? I want him back, I do really want him, but I want him to stay permanently and never hurt me like this again. Imagine we get back together, and that we get married in the future and have children and he just snaps out of nowhere and says “I don’t love you anymore, I’m leaving.” See, I don’t want this to happen anymore. I want to solve this and build a strong relationship with him.
But starting over won’t depend solely on me… He’s not willing to meet me in person, for now. Not even as a friend. He simply ignored all I said before starting NC.
How was it like when your bf first contacted you after NC? I mean, how was he talking? How was he looking at you, what were his reactions? I need hope. I cannot lose my boyfriend and best friend. :'(
Thanks people… Yes, my parents also told me that, about me being young and having the whole world ahead of me. And like you, moonbunny, this was also the second time for me.
The first time happened last year, in person and out of the blue as well. But since he saw how I cried and how hurt I was, he hugged me and said “You know, that’s really not true. I love you.” and he kissed me. He said he was going through tough times… Studying hard, and being alone on his birthday because he had to study, his family having several issues… But he didn’t say he wanted to breakup. Now this is for real. This is it… :'(
My dad said “Don’t worry. If he loves you, he’ll search for you. He’ll come for you when he realizes that things aren’t right this way.” I hope he comes…
I have been dreaming about him. About him calling me, about us being together and just being the couple we always were. I hope that’s a good premonition…
Also, best of luck to you, my friend. Yes, I know about thinking clear about our relationship. I already have. That’s why I’m through such pain and despair. We had everything, believe me.
The reason I’m in such a mess is because I don’t understand his decision. I don’t understand why he wants this. You see, this was completely out of nowhere. Hence the title of the topic, nonsense. Like I said before, the reasons he gave me don’t require a breakup. It’s true, he warned me before. He told me he wasn’t feeling well, things aren’t going so well in his life, and I didn’t comfort him… But every time I asked how he was, he would just say “I’m tired…”.
So, he may be just hurt. But I don’t know… I don’t know what’s going on. That’s why I’m worried about him. And most of all, I miss him.
That was truly inspiring, Paris… I am going through NC too, although my case is recent (my boyfriend broke up with me last Thursday, you can ready the whole story here: https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/nonsense-breakup-and-its-messing-me-up-real-bad/ ) and I started NC last Saturday. I’m starting to trying to improve myself. Keeping myself busy with things I planned on doing before he broke up with me and doing my hobbies. But it’s so hard… I mean, his words…
What he told me when we broke up, how much I cried on the phone and he coldly ignored me, and all the good memories I have about him and us together, looking at the gifts he gave me, the loving letters he sent me… His harsh words are pulling me back on improving myself. I’m worried about him… I’m scared that even if I get in the best version of me, he won’t feel attracted to me anymore. I really love him… I want him back… 🙁
Thank you Franknj. I will do as you say. Right now I’m having highs and lows… One moment I’m thinking “Hey, this is working. And that’s good. I’ll become a fresh new woman and he’ll fall for me again. I’m sure of it. I’ll keep working on this.” and then I become depressed, worried about him, about if he’s thinking of me, if he wants to talk to me but isn’t sure of how he feels or what to say. I wonder if he’s missing me… I wonder if he still loves me…
Because thinking “No, I have to be strong. I’m doing this because I want him back. And I’ll stick to it, no matter what happens, and he’ll come back for me. He will!” sometimes makes me end up thinking “He will, right…?”. I’ve already thought about our relationship. There’s only one negative thing about it: distance. But distance, like I said in my first post on this topic, isn’t really much of a problem. You see, although I live in a different town, I study (we’re both college students) in the same city as he does, and he lives near that city. Meeting was never a problem. Aside from distance, and no, my thoughts aren’t clouded by my emotions, there isn’t anything I can really point out. And because of that, I want him back. Because I was happy with that relationship, and he was too. I could see it every time we were together.
I know him. Every time I took too long to reply to his messages or texts he would send another message or text saying “Baby? Talk to me, my love. Even if you don’t have a subject, just talk to me. I miss you.” Often I didn’t take too long because I wanted to, I was busy most of the times it happened. And other times… well, I was jealous when he went out with his friends. And insecure, because I thought he wouldn’t pay any attention to me when he was around his friends. I didn’t want to “bother” him. But he doesn’t know that, I never told him that. And then he said “You didn’t talk to me all day!” And I was proven to be wrong. He would talk with me even when around his friends. He was always bragging about me. He had this big proud inside him of being my boyfriend. I know this because he said it endless times… He was constantly fondling me when we were around his friends…
And my insecurity now comes from the constant flashback of the things he said when he broke up with me. That he’s sick of the relationship. That he can’t bear being my boyfriend again. That he doesn’t feel the same anymore. That he doesn’t want to be forced to take me back again. That’s what’s pulling me back on trying to improve myself. I know that I shouldn’t listen to those voices, but I can’t help it. It’s like waking up in the middle of the night after having a vicious nightmare and being scared of falling asleep again…
I know how you feel, Pines… My boyfriend broke up with me 5 days ago, I began no-contact last saturday and I’m already feeling miserable… Like I really wish he would return to me right now, to my open arms, but I think he’s avoiding me… And by thinking that, thinking that he doesn’t want to talk to me, no matter what the subject of the conversation is, I think I’m doing what he wants and what I don’t want: drifting away from each other. 🙁
I don’t know how he is… I’m worried about him… I don’t know if he really meant what he said, that he doesn’t love me anymore, that he can’t be in a relationship with me again. But the thing is, I want him back. I love him. He was happy with me. I know it because he said it endless times. Just like in your case.
Like you, I haven’t slept properly, I haven eaten properly and everything in me is a total caos. He is everything I want, everything I pray for is for him to realise this is not right and that he comes running back to me, but… will he? :'(
In the mean time, try to be strong. I’m doing it to, and it hurts like hell. But let’s have faith. Faith is what guides us.
Thank you once again. Anyway, I don’t have to try hard to follow the no-contact rule, as I have the feeling that he’s avoiding me at all costs. But, on the other hand, since he was my addiction, no-contact is killing me…
I’m reading Relationship Rewind Women’s Edition, and our relationship, sad as it is, appears to be on Death’s Door… I know I need to give him time… But then I came upon the Magic Letter part. Although I’m not sure if he’s in a state of Indifference towards me, I really have the urge of writing him one and leaving it in his mail box along with a drawing of him once I have the opportunity of walking by his place. And no, I don’t want to be seen if I get to do this.
Maybe I’ll just wait a bit more, don’t you think? Or do you think that I could do it now?
Also, I wish you the best of luck recovering your love too. And you’re right. We need to have faith. We need to believe things will work out and that they’ll come back. They have to…
Thank you, MeganHT… I’m sick of hearing people telling me to just let him go and move on… I don’t want to move on, I want him! 🙁 I need people to give me faith, but I don’t want false hopes… Tell me, in your opinion, do you think, based on the reasons he gave me to breakup, that breaking up is what he really wants? Or is he just hurt? Do you think that he really doesn’t love me anymore? I mean, does this seem logical, stop loving me from one day to another? And what chances do I have of getting him back, knowing that we were so madly in love with each other?
My father thinks that something really bad must have happened with his family, like his parents getting divorced (which almost happened several times), and since he thinks that I’m not supporting him, adding that he might be really depressed, he discharged all his rage on me. But that’s just a theory, we don’t know if something happened or not.
Sorry about all the questions… It’s just that I really need help with getting him back. You can tell how desperate I am. I’m a total mess, this caught me really off guard…
Once again, thanks for replying.
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