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Calm down. If he does get into a new relationship, it’s likely a rebound. Unless he was really unhappy and you did hurtful things to him, like using him to get what you want, cheating, you get the picture. I’m betting you did nothing like that.
In the case he lied to you, you have two points of view:
1. He doesn’t want to hurt you (aka still cares for your feelings)
2. He doesn’t want you to interfere with his new relationship.Bear in mind that, in either case, rebounds don’t last long and are usually hollow relationships. They do not tend to succeed. 5 years is a lot of time. Rest assured that he didn’t forget about you yet. Unless he has the ability to erase memories, you are still in the back of his mind, whether it’s consciously or unconsciously.
Now you may be thinking “you went for the rebound!” Well, maybe. I wasn’t really happy with that other guy. He didn’t make me feel properly loved. Actually, I’m happy I broke up with that jerk. I was just convincing myself that the stuff he did was normal and that he really liked me. Nope, nope, nope. He was a on/off boyfriend. Deep inside, my heart didn’t feel I was in a relationship. So this didn’t it make a real rebound. I mean, 19 months are more than enough proof that it wasn’t a rebound.
I remember I had a date with my ex the next day I broke up with that guy. That date was very intimate for a first date. Let’s say that my ex is quite the naughty type, if you know what I mean. I was sitting on his lap, and while he was touching me (he was really in love with me by that time, he was going crazy), I thought to myself “Is this alright? I just broke up with him yesterday, and now here I am like this…”
Obviously I didn’t let my ex get as far as he wanted.Memories. Just memories from a time I miss so badly, when I had my phone blown up with texts from him and I had that pleasant feeling of being chased, desired, wanted…
What he talks about you is irrelevant. Most guys love to play the victim after breakup. Even if he were dating someone or even if he got into a new relationship, it would be a rebound. How long did your relationship with him last?
I’m not exactly “happy”. I mean, this was the least he could do. The very least.
I don’t want him back the way he is now. Before he decides to get back (if he ever decides to), he has some changes to do, as I’m no longer the girl I used to be, so his tricks won’t work as well as they did before. I was a hard-to-get girl, and now I’m even harder. I’m better than ever before.
When we were in that talking phase before he committed to me, he had competition. He didn’t know that, but he had it. Out of all the guys hitting on me, he won. I chose him. I remember I was going through a tough time on a previous relationship, and then I met him. Slowly he worked his way into convincing me that he was 1000 times better than the guy I was with. Eventually that guy made me realize he didn’t love me as I loved him, and I became crazy about my now ex-boyfriend. I broke up with that guy and a week later he committed to me.
Of course, that was then and this is now. That was the guy that got my heart. Right now he’s not who he used to be.
Why would you do it, sri? :S And how could you do it? Are you afraid your ex is seeing someone? Don’t be! How long have you guys been broken up?
Turns out I had an unanswered message on Facebook from him wishing me a happy birthday, heheh… ^^’ I take PART of what I said back. But it was a pretty basic birthday wish. Well, it’s better than nothing. I simply replied with a thank you and a smiley.
I think I’m not going to engage in a conversation yet. A thank you is enough for now, I think… I still can’t get over the fact he ignored me for all this time and all the other stuff he did. I’m keeping true to the promise I made myself. That I’ll make him regret the breakup and that I’ll make him knee before me like I’m the goddess he once worshiped, begging for one more chance.
I was planning on contacting him this week, but then this happened and I’m hurt and angry… I can’t stop dreaming about him… Last night I dreamed about us being alone in my room, with the rain falling outside and… well, I think you get the picture. I wake up devastated… And me dreaming about him is something I can’t control. I can make myself busy and think less about him, but dreaming at night is something out of my control…
To think I drew him a portrait of him and bought him stuff for his birthday… remembering how happy we both were that day… and this is how he thanks me on my birthday… Adding to all the other hurtful stuff he did after breaking up with me… This guy really needs to learn a lesson or two.
Thank you guys… Really, thank you a lot. :’) I think I’ll prolong NC for one more week. I already have an idea of what to send him, but I’ll just wait a bit more. I’m just scared of being ignored… That’s all :/ And I miss him. Not just as a lover, but as a friend. He was my best friend, and I was his. He said once that I was just like a sister to him, only I was his girlfriend. He was very, VERY, caring, romantic, loving… everything a good boyfriend should be.
I wish I could be his best friend again. Or a good friend. That’s all I want with him right now, a friendship. Then build a romantic foundation from there.
I know I’m not over my relationship… It’s not something easy to do… It happened all of a sudden. We were fine and romantic with each other on the day before and then he breaks up with me… Believe me, he was very passionate towards me. It happened literally from night to day.
I have his gifts but I hid them away from me. I packed them up.
I already did 30 days of NC. This is day 37. He didn’t reach out to me, not even once. I don’t know how he’s doing, or if he’s got someone else… I’m not stalking him, so I wouldn’t know. And even if I wanted to stalk him, I couldn’t because my stomach hurts just of looking at him or hearing about him.
I know, sri, I’m not holding anything against him, I’m just furious. I mean, if you read my case, you’ll know that this was completely nonsense. He broke up with me out of the blue, and seems to be doing great and has completely forgotten about me. I told him I was still his friend and he said he was there for him if I needed, but is this the act of someone who can be called a friend? Please be honest with yourself and put yourself on my shoes for a while.
I don’t want to move on… I want him back, but he’s becoming someone who’s pushing me away. Heck, he might be even doing it on purpose! It’s because I love him that I feel so furious… I really don’t know what to do…
This guy is going to suffer. He’s going to cry me a river. I’ll make sure that happens. Yes, I don’t need a man. I only need myself to be happy. I had already realized that during NC. My parents warned me… Now I see they were right… I gave too much of myself to him, and although he really liked me and supported me, he didn’t give that much. If he did, he wouldn’t have done this to me. He would have never thought of leaving me.
His actions, during our relationship, were those of a man who was almost blinded by love. ALMOST. I was the one who was really blinded. I was the only who had to make the trip almost every week to his place. And our relationship isn’t that much of a LDR. It’s 45 minutes or 1 hour driving. We’re not that far. And we study near each other. My dad would often say “I don’t like you being the one going to his place. He’s the guy. He’s the one who should come here. You girls have to play it independent and let guys come to you.” Boy, he was right… My dad was right… And to think I would often get into arguments with my parents because of this… My ex always gave stupid excuses, like it’s easier for me to do the trip than for him…
Right now I don’t know if I should try to get him back. Like, I don’t know if I can trust him if he becomes mine again. But I still love him. I’m just kind of over him, not really over him. I wish he would become a better guy. I wish he could correct his faults too. He has potential, but right now he became an idiot…~
And thanks for your support, moonbunny. Really, thank you. 🙂
Yup, like I said, he didn’t wish me a happy birthday. I’m really angry. I’m beginning to think that this guy deserves a cold revenge. I’m beginning to feel I don’t want him in my life, not even as a friend. This guy really is a child. My parents were right. Who the f*ck does he think he is?
I wasted my precious time with him. He’s not even my friend. He’s a stranger. I made him feel really good on his birthday, got him gifts, and this is how he thanks me.
I’m going to make him regret this. I promise. I’m gonna make him want me so badly and then turn his life into a living hell, like he did with me. He’s going to feel the pain I feel. I don’t deserve this.
I know we’re broken up, but NOTHING justifies not wishing me a happy birthday. He said we could friends. Friends don’t do this. I’m badly hurt and disappointed. This guy really needs to grow some balls and learn how to be a real man, not a teddy bear who constantly wants to have all the love. “Of course I care about you!” Bullcrap!
I really don’t know him anymore. I know, I know, it might be too soon to give up. But this attitude of his hurt me. This was not like him. I miss the old him, not this asshole. This stupid idiot of him. I have loads of anger right now inside me. I only see revenge in the form of regretting the breakup as an objective. He made me walk through hell. I thank him for that. I got out of there stronger and more independent. I’m a different person. I don’t need this asshole.
He will come crawling back with his tail between his legs. I’ll work for that. If life itself doesn’t make him grow up and match his age with his mind, and if he ever wants me back, I will make sure that happens. And then let’s see how he likes being rejected. Let’s see how he likes watching me get any guy I want and leave him behind. Let’s see how he likes losing the very best girlfriend he ever had.
I love him, but it’s times like these I wish nothing had happened between us. I wish I could just erase that part of my memory. I still want him back (hence all this rage), but I would like him to change as well. But he became an asshole. This is not the change I want. I want him to be more of a man. Only kids do this stuff. I thought he was mature, but turns out he isn’t at all. 19 months, and I couldn’t see he wasn’t as mature as he looked…
I have finally packed his gifts and hid them away from me. My room seems a little bit empty. I had a feeling of numbness and some neutrality while I packed them up. I guess that was a blast of strength from within me.
Not a sign of him contacting me yet. Tomorrow’s my birthday… I wonder if he’ll wish me a happy birthday. Not only I would be happy that he reminded me but I also would try to make a small and friendly conversation with him. I don’t hold anything against him. I mean, I love him, of course I wouldn’t hold any grudge, although yesterday I had deep feelings of anger and hatred, but, like I said before, I have highs and lows and while I’m more stable than before I still have those moments. I guess that’s because I’m still deeply in love with him and I miss him like crazy and he doesn’t seem to be feeling what I feel.
How do you make first contact with your ex after NC, moonbunny? Did he reply to the first contact? What were his reactions?
Thanks for your courage moonbunny. Really, thank you. I will try to contact him soon. I hope he didn’t delete my number or blocked it or whatever. Seeing my text would already be good, since I don’t know if he still has my number or if he blocked it. I guess the only way of knowing this is by trying… Since he said we could still be friends, I guess he wouldn’t do such a thing, but I don’t know…
He deleted our anniversary pics 6 days after he broke up with me. I should have done the same with his pics and the stuff he gave me, but I can’t bring myself to do it because deep down I have this voice saying “Don’t pack his gifts, there’s still a chance that you guys will end up together again. Have hope.” And also they have quite a value to me, so you can see my struggle here.
