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As for flirting, I wouldn’t flirt if he doesn’t flirt first. Of course, a sexy change in you may make him start flirting with you. We also have to take this seduction into account.
Also, working on yourself will give you something extra: you can find the man of your dreams. Whether it’s your ex or someone you don’t know yet. Remember my story. My now ex came to me out of nowhere. Another guy can come to me out of nowhere as well. The same can happen to you.
What we’re striving here for is happiness. Although I’m still not over my ex and I want him more than anything I’m aware I feel like that because I’m still in love with him. Another guy can come and sweep me off my feet and make me forget about him. We never know.
No, don’t tell him directly you’re going on a date. In fact, he doesn’t really have to know. Just go and have fun. Only if he asks what you’re up, you can tell you went out with someone.
Now that you’ve opened the lines of communication, you can make small conversations. But don’t become “annoying”. He needs to understand that you don’t really need him and that’s one way of showing him. You should paint an independent image in his mind by doing it.
Go working out. You have to restore that girl he fell in love with. This is all about changing minds. In fact, if I were you, I would strive for an even better girl than the one he fell in love with. He needs to understand that you’re the girl that can get any man she wants.
We females are the ones who choose our partners. This is biological, and trust me, I’m a biology student and I know what I’m talking about. Have you watched males of other species (let’s say, for instance, a peacock) do their courting to the females? Heck, some even fight (bears, for example) just to get access to them! We humans are very similar to this. Men WANT to do the courting. They will feel awkward if girls are the ones doing the courting to them, because that’s just not the way it’s supposed to be.
You have 3 guys in your list right now. Let them do their male job and then YOU are the one who chooses. Not them. Males want to be chosen, not to chose.So yes, get in your best shape ever. As you do, use your anger, sadness, any negative feelings you may have and use them as fuel for your workout. It works with me. Although I haven’t changed my weight much before and after this relationship. I’m not unsatisfied with my weight, but I guess losing a little bit won’t do any harm.
You’re not unwanted. You have two guys hitting on you. Talk to them. Ignore your ex. Do they know you’re broken up? Go along with their conversation. You’re single. Go on a date with them, if you can. You can’t be waiting for your ex to come. If he senses you’re waiting for him, he’ll make you wait more because he can have you anytime he wants. He won’t feel motivated to get you back.
Get in your best shape. Make him go “wow”. Make him swallow what he said. Make him freaking regret breaking up so bad he can’t sleep at night. I’ll do the same.
I know what you mean about starting all over again. When my ex committed to me I thought I would be spared of more suffering, but I was wrong. You see, this is part of life, unfortunately. If we go back some years in time, couples were stronger. Feelings were more genuine. Everyone was so loyal. The world is going insane. I mean, watch the news on TV and you’ll see what I mean. Ideals are getting lost. Breaking up is becoming something more and more common, and that’s why more and more people don’t waste their time weeping over someone, or investing in a relationship. Some are just fine being friends with benefits, or having one night stands. Why having just one guy when they can have them all at the same time?
Honestly, this world is getting sick. I don’t approve of any of those things.For now, just calm down. It’s hard, and even awkward, to talk to our exes as if they were strangers. We had it all and then suddenly we have nothing.
sri, look, just calm down, alright? Don’t get obsessed about his behavior or how he’s feeling. That won’t take you anywhere. Just forget about him for a while. Like I said, treat him like an acquaintance. Talk to other guys. Flirt with them a little bit, you’re single! You’re free like a bird! It won’t do any harm.
It will take a while for you to seduce your ex. It’s not going to be an easy task. But you have to be persistent if he’s who you really want. So fight!You said you’re feeling good without him. Be honest to yourself. Are you really?
I wanna share a story with you. I hope you don’t mind, but I think I can shed some light on you. It’s gonna be a bit long, but please take your time and read it.
If you read my topic yesterday, you noticed I talked about a guy who was my boyfriend before I met my current ex. I’m not holding anything here, okay? I was INSANE about this guy. He was my first boyfriend. Looking back now, I was a teenager, and I really don’t know what attracted me to him. I was just in love with him.
But I suffered so much… You have no idea the pain I went through because of my love for him. He would pick other people over me. This went on for 4 years. Yes, 4 years of unrequited love. And so I fought and I fought until finally I got him around my finger. I got him to commit to me… only to be used by him. He would use my wild feelings to get what he wanted.
Even though I was in tremendous pain, I learned to live with it. I thought “I only want him to be happy. That’s real love. Whether it’s with me or with someone else. I’ll stand my ground.”
At night, I would pray and try to speak to God. I saw some miracles happen between me and that guy. When I got him, he broke up with me about 3 months later. I was devastated. By that time, I already knew my current ex and other guys who were hitting on me. When that happened, me and my current ex got closer. It was as if he was a gift from God. Then, some weeks later, that guy sent me an extensive text message saying how sorry he was and that he needed me. I forgave him. My current ex didn’t give up. He was crazy about me. He would fantasize like crazy, he would blow up my phone with calls and texts.
And so I thought “He really likes me… This is what real love seems like. And… oh God, I’m in love with him…”
(Side note here: it’s crazy how the roles turned. For 4 years I was the one fighting for someone and then someone comes fighting for me.)
Another fight with that other guy. I knew this was it. I wanted no one else than my current ex. When that other guy came to apologize, I told him “I don’t want you anymore. You used me. I was so scared of rocking the boat because of my love for you, but know this: someone showed me what a real partner is like. Go find yourself a bigger wallet. My love isn’t measured by money. Farewell.”I screamed in happiness that day. I was released. Finally I could stretch my wings and fly to the arms of someone who was really into me! I felt revitalized.
All this long story to show you something: you may be crazy for someone, like I was. You may be blinded by love. When you are blinded, you can’t see. You can’t think clearly. You think that guy is the one and there’s no one else for you… until some other comes along, does his courting role, surpasses your current love and you’re left in doubt. Then you have to choose. And only themselves will dictate how you make your choice.
So, calm down, okay? If you ask me now “What if some other guy came and showed you he could be better than your ex?”, I would say, I don’t know. It would be hard for someone else to conquer me right now, partially because I’m not entirely over him, but also partially because I’m hard-to-get and he would have to be quite persistent. I’m quite picky when it comes to guys. 😛 But, sure, being chased feels good… it sure does. I find my ex to be quite attractive. Even now I get the tingle when I see pics of him. And that destroys me. Of course, if another guy came up to me and he was better looking than him, I would feel better, because “Hey, I have quite the choice now, don’t I? Seems like you’ve got competition like good old days, my old friend.”Take it easy on your guy. Don’t suffer. Remember, you can only feel pain for yourself. You’re not doing yourself a favor, are you? Don’t be an idiot like me who spent 4 years fighting for a dead cause. Go meet new people. Turn your ego up. There are cases of couples who stay broken up for a while and then reconnect and are now married. If you and your guy shared unique stuff, nothing can erase that. No matter how hard you try to do that, it’s impossible. I’m speaking for my case too. My ex can go as far as he wants. He can get a new girl, if he wants. But he’ll realize he had it all with me. He’ll confirm what he told me so many times. That I’m unique. That I’m perfect. That I stand out.
These words are coming from a place of strength. Not pain, although I’m dying on the inside. Like you, I also want this pain to go away. I want my guy back. But I don’t need him. I’m not a symbiont. Neither are you. Just talk to him occasionally, otherwise you’ll be friendzoned. And be strong.
Yes. I’m letting go. I have to focus on myself right now. College is starting. He may talk to me when he feels like, but talking is where I draw the line. I don’t want to be friendzoned.
Still, I love this guy. It is that feeling that’s holding me firmly on my objective. I was happy with him, he was happy with me, we can still work this out. So, like all other things in life, I must fight for what I dream of. Deep down I feel I have what it takes to conquer him again. I mean, I did it once without even trying, what’s to stop me from doing it twice?
Let him be. Soon he’ll realize what a mistake he made.
It’s hard to tell how he feels. Heck, he might not even know that himself! All I can tell you is don’t worry about how he feels. You will change his mind or confirm what he felt once about you. What matters is the end result.
Well, that’s a start. At least talking with your ex isn’t awkward any more.
Treat your ex like an acquaintance you’re in good terms with. As you progress, you can treat him like a close friend. Remember, though, that you’re trying to light up a fire that has already been put out. You have to be patient. If he starts to talk about the relationship, try to change the subject gently. This new flame has to be stronger than the one that faded.
Become irresistible. Get into the stuff he likes. Be hard to get. Hang out with friends and let him subtly know you are available for other guys.
Almost all men are stubborn like that. The thing is, it’s consistency that’s making them stick to their decision. They make up bogus lies to protect themselves. Even if they want us more than anything, it’s their word that’s holding them back.
And that’s when we rebuild attraction to get past those defenses.Yes, yes, I understand, I want him back as sooner as possible too… But maybe it’s better if we take it easy. In the long run, it may be better. Many things will be new. We will be different. Maybe more mature and stronger.
Look, we don’t know what the future will bring us. Maybe it will bring them back, or maybe not. The thing is, we need to pursue our dreams and be optimistic. If you keep dwelling on pessimistic thoughts, you will end up driving yourself crazy and hurt yourself. So calm down. If you have a religion, pray. Do the things that you like. Work on being the best girlfriend he could ever have. You know what he likes, so you have the material to work on that.
Your pain will fade away. It will, definitely.Look, as hard as it may be for us, if our exes really loved us, they wouldn’t be ex right now. If they wanted to be with us, they would. It all comes down to changing their minds. We have to make them go “wow” and think “look at her, she’s so beautiful… so intelligent, so perfect… why did I break up with her? I want her back…”
Think of it as a revenge. They have to feel a little pain. Only then they will value us.And let’s be honest: are we sick? Do we have some sort of health problem by not being with them? Take it from a cardiac patient like me. That guy made me go to the hospital, but I’m still here. Think of the people who are fighting for their lives because of cancer or other terrible diseases. To them, losing a partner is nothing compared to losing their health and well-being. Once you look at death in the eyes and evade it, you will feel the blood in your veins and arteries boil. You will want to live!
Look, which is harder: recovering from cancer, stroke, heart attack, or recovering an ex-boyfriend? Have faith. Have strength! Get up and fight!
And does that matter? :s If he is, it’s a rebound, most likely! So don’t worry. Be happy. 🙂
Don’t do that. As hard as it may be. Don’t do it. I feel like you too sometimes.
You’ll just be painting a needy and desperate picture of yourself. That won’t attract your ex. You have to be a strong woman.
That birthday message from him looked like one from a total stranger. Hence why I’m not happy. Sure, it’s better than nothing, but it could be even better. I really felt like not responding or asking him “What, am I stranger to you or something?” Idiot…
Instead I was polite, showing what a classy lady I am and always was, and said thank you. And I’m not interested in prolonging the conversation any longer. I have to be in control. And so have you.You can always come here to let out your feelings. Or you can journal them. But don’t let him know how you feel about him or the breakup. It isn’t until you feel confident and over what he did that you are ready to return to him.
