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yes thats right MrsWB. I got answers but i had to know if there was anything else hiding that she was afraid to tell me but she told me the truth as there was nothing else. But you’re right, once we told our friends about it, they were involed, the crappy thing is all of our friends are the SAME lol so pretty much after this break up, the guys spilt to one group and girls spilt to one group. Before the break up we all would be one and going to dinners every now and than, was fun but it is much different now. As i feel bad for our friends as this is something we caused.
Hope you enjoy your first day in university. School was always fun, new faces, new people to meet, youll have a blast and probably get your mind off of your ex. I missed university lol I do have hope for my ex and I but I will probably give it one big horrah before i decide to move on. As i dont want to give up on her but I dont want to be the one always trying. That’s one thing i want. I want her to come to me, so i feel wanted.
I dont think that’s a bad sign. When my ex and i would exchange messages and they were in depth, she would reply only late at night, maybe that’s when she can really have free time to open her mind? but give her time to reply as its hard to speak your mind when you cant focus properly, maybe shes just busy and has a lot going on. Maybe go NC until she contacts you, play it cool.
you ex seemed such a gentleman, only a real man would be there for his lady when shes sick and looking at her worst. It just puzzles me a bit why he broke up the week after but like others said, maybe it was an ego thing and maybe wanted to be more of the provider for you. He did say “Please dont hate me forever” as that may be a clue that he wants to patch things eventually but who knows when and you cant wait for him forever but that also goes for me too, i cant wait my ex forever either.
There was one time after the break up we had some hate, as i was curious what she had told her friends why we broken up and maybe there was more to it. She told her friends “i just want to do me”. She found out i asked her friends, and got mad at me and told me it’s over. Whatever is going on is between us, dont bring others in it. That’s when i did NC for 2 weeks and she contacted me after apologizing saying she was just mad cause i didnt ask her instead of her friends and that she missed me, etc.
i do too hope she realizes all what we’ve been through but this is all up to her now. I dont want to disturb her while shes out doing her own thing and i have to let her see the world without me. Hopefully me not contacting her a month from now will be enough time for her to miss me. I have faith in your situation as i do think he will contact you again but i just dont know when as it’s difficult to analyze.
haha too funny but unforuantely we have to be anonymous lol otherwise we wouldnt open up like how we did 🙂
i feel it is healthy. Let it out. For a guy to cry it isnt very manly but sometimes i have to let it out and afterwards i’ll be able to go through with my life. I’ll be strong for like a week or so and than this would all repeat again but eventually i wont have to cry for her anymore as time will make us stronger.
Maybe listen to some sad songs if youre forcing yourself to cry. I love to sing some R&B sad songs as it always get me going and some songs really relates to me. It’s amazing what music can do. My ex use to love me sing too lol she told me my voice was amazing but i always thought i sucked lol. It isnt good to bottle something up.
sorry to hop into this but i was jsut reading your thread and i really hope your story ends in a happy ending as it seems like a huge climax to happen and im on the edge of my seat reading lol. But i have been planning how to contact my ex again a month from now, and wondered howcmoe you didnt text it to him instead as it would seem more immediate? unless the email was ment for him to think it over? or perhaps if it was text and his lady friend saw she wouldve deleted it? My ex and i never really used email much except for discount coupons for retail stores lol. But do you think its best for me to hand write a letter and send it to her?? or text? My ex recently told me she is seeing someone and told me not to call her. If i send a text a month from now im afraid maybe he’ll see it and delete it?
my ex’s parents were never married , they had kids together but never married. Her parents seperated when she was 13 and had no father figure around. I came during end of highschool and have been there for her family ever since. I was the only man around to do all the fatherly things. From Fixing walls, to opening locked doors, turning the switch for the breaker when power goes out, getting rid of any rodents, you name it. her father unfortunately passed away when we started our relationship so i felt horrible at that time and knew i had to be there for her family as there were no men around ( she lived with her mom and aunt and sister for a bit but moved with her bf later on) So marriage wasnt a big deal for her but it was something we both wanted.
I have decided to make contact with her exactly 1 month from now. I wanted to wait 2 months but was afraid thatd give too much time for her to get comfrtable with this new guy , as i dont know how fast it takes for a girl to fall love with someone. I will be contacting her again with a letter and will be making a draft soon. I will be flying out to Chicago mid october to visit some family and when i return that’s when ill make my move again but will proceed NC until then.
a little info on how we met, if it helps, we all our classes together when i was gr 9, i was a chubby kid lol had a crush on her, she never liked me lol i would try to make a move, i dont know what i did but probably didnt work lol fast forward to end of gr 11, had classes with her again, at this time i was much fit, as id fly to texas every summer and work out. after school id notice she was always last person in school..waiting for some reason. One day i came up to her and asked howcome shes still here (since i used the weight room at school) and she said she was waiting for a ride from her aunt and didnt want to bus alone. So from that day,everyday i would stay with her so she wasnt bored alone, watch funny things on the internet in the library, talk, do homework. Eventually i started taking the bus with her to take her home early so she didnt have to wait as she would get hungry sometimes (even tho my house was opposite direction lol). eventually we kicked it off and was a wonderful 7 years, until now lol.
some people do tell me that and family but personally i dont beleive it. 1 year is too soon i find. i wouldve porbably proposed 5 years if i wsa older but i find we are so young and i really want to be finacially ready for her to relax and not worry about money. As my dream for her was just to be a stay at home mom and take care of the kids , as this is what she wanted too. She recently enrolled herself in school and the other week i messaged her saying how proud i was of her and she told me it meant a lot to her (as she use to work for my moms business as a nail tech but will stop working soon for school). My family never said anything to her as they knew we broke up and maybe had a little grudge on her now? But id tell her who cares what they think, and she’d said the same thing to me cause if they do hate her and we do get back, who cares. It is for our happiness not theirs.
have fun with korean BBQ! love it! even though you are paying to cook for yourself lol still good! very sweet though haha.
From a males point of view, this guy seems very immature for such a grown age lol. should act his age and not his shoe size haha but myself i dont even want to act like that at all cause it’s so embarassing. You deserve so much better Octopus as i know this is just a temporary phase for you and you will find a wonderful man. I have high hopes for you octopus and see a bright future ahead!
youre making me jealous ironblood lol. Maybe this was meant to be. As she was on your mind like crazy and she magically came when you needed it. Must be MrsWB’s magic powers cause she casted something on us lol no luck for me so far.
Ironblood you are probably around the same age as me, and we both have been in a relationbship for long time but for me we have never broken up until now. But from reading what you said earlier, i think might be best to delete her from social media so you are able to just focus on yourself more. I am sure once you start school also you should be able to keep your mind off. When talking to her, i think you should keep it cool, maybe overtime she will open up a little more and you can too but for now like what MRsWB said you both need time to heal. I myself have deleted IG, snapchat, but i kept FB as there are some funny videos that keeps me sane lol. When my ex contacted me before, saying she missed me and what we had but i cant really rmr what i said but it was along time lines of we need some time apart to appreicate each other more, as sometimes i may not contact you for a while but this is something we need. And she said like if this waht we have to do to love eachother more than it is what it is. Can’t rmr exactly how the conversation went as i always delete her messages since i hurts to see her name in my text messages lol. Not sure if what i said may have drove her off? but after that we did text little until now.
I checked my ex’s FB as a curiosity and noticed that shes still in a relationship with me. Strange but idunno how to go on from there lol. But honestly if she removes me, it’s fine but i dont wanna do anything but to leave things the way they are. My emotions been driving me nuts as i keep thinking about what she texted me last about not calling her anymore. Some hours i am so strong and ill say ” psh, i can do this, dont need her”, and than others im just dying LOL But in the end ill be fine. Lke what Paul said, this is something we have done to ourselves. It is going to be a tough start for me again cause we will most likely wont be making ANY contact now. All i can hope for now is her to realize how much she misses me and what this new guy doenst have that i do.
MrsWB you are a very wise woman with so much expierence that us youngings dont have and we certainly appreciate everything you say. As for your ex, i think he will come around as i know he is just playing hard as most men are. In our hearts we definately want to open up, but it will make us seem very inferior, as when my ex messaged saying she missed me, i wanted to open up like crazy but it would make me seem so needy and stupid and less of a man. My ex always wanted me to be more stern and take charge (as to why i told her we needed some space to heal, me taking charge?) in my relationship, i always wanted to give her whatever she wanted but sometimes she wanted me to take charge. But sometimes maybe i kept giving too much? idunno lol its weird but if we do ever get back, i will obviously be more in charge and stand my ground more.
oh yes that would be cool if we could meet up lol but everyone on this board is from a different country lol But this board alone is really effective already and its fantastic everyone here is in the same situation and trying to support one another! we all will be okay as we all have much to look forward to!
appreicate it MrsWB, well i am buddhist, and i actually scheduled a full sleeve tattoo on my arm of a buddha and a dragon lol after the break up, i have been really going through some deep thoughts and following my religon, as it’s not good to hold on to negativity as we only want peace and tranquility. Earlier the break up when i was starting NC, i would be REALLY mad at her for doing this to me, and thinking how could she do this to me and all these negative things about her but i have learned to forget it. I look forward for a brighter future. Life is not worth holding on sadness and anger. There is so much more we arent seeing.
Reminds of a short story of a professor giving his students a surpise test, and he handed the paper to all his students and all there was is a black dot in the middle of the paper. All the students handed in the test and wrote the same thing, explaining the black dot in the middle of the paper but nobody wrote anytthing about the white paper on the outside.
This break up is just a black dot that we are focusing on.
MrsWB hit it dead on the nail there. The next time any of us contact with our ex or begin something, it’s a whole new relationship. But for us for go forward we have to forget the past. It’s done. No going back, improve yourself for a better future. But easier said than done like what MrsWB said lol but we all can do it. Ironblood, i believe you can do it. A Third times the charm!
for myself, I will be putting myself through extreme work outs and diets and she use to love me for my huge arms before lol and that’s my exact goal. Huge raging biceps and try to get a 6 pack loll which is hella hard as you need like 10% bodyfat. But that will be what i use when i contact her again. As when we were together she told me if i got a 6 pack, she’d do anything i want lol but obviously i wont be contacting her for sex when i get it, ill use those quotes to hopefully begin our relationship lol it sounds stupid but it was something we said as i know in the future itll make her smile lol
but like what MrsWb said, letting go may be the ultimate solution. You have all to gain now. It really cant get any worse than it is now.
oh yes, even if women think they are so ugly someitmes, they will always look beautiful in our eyes. Some men are just dogs (the ones in the club that just wanna holla) but if it was an ex lover, we love women in everyway. If shes picking her nose, dang i love it lol makes me happy knowing shes tha comfortable with me lol. My ex was a weird girl lol but yanno what she was my weirdo and i loved her for that lol, and im sure we all have something similar to relate as we loved them for their weird ways. If they were to move on, no way they can be the way they were with us that fast.
very true! i have really been improving myself since the break up. First month, i lost 20lbs lol went on a crazy no carb diet and worked out everyday as i use to do a lot of body building and my goal now is be what i use to be, pretty much what you were saying.. from the first time i met my ex i was in increible shape and happy and guess i got a bit to comfortable lol but i am seeing a lot of improvments.
Yes , try to not hold on negaitivty, as its just bad news. Once we let go of the sadness and negativity, we will finally acheive peace at mind and happiness! This is my first break up EVER as she was also my friends GF and i was her longest relationship ever but she wanted a break up and i didnt want to beg as i know this is what she wanted already and it wouldnt change anything.
But hey! you must be really beautiful woman for many guys to ask you out on a date 😉 that should make you feel good! Wish girl would come up to me and ask me out LOL but that doesnt happen very often lol as it should be men apporaching in my opinion lol but like i said if girls did approach me i wouldnt want to date anyways. But i will definately give you a heads up if anything interesting comes up and i hope you are doign well with your situation
thanks for your support guys and gals, i wish we all lived in the same place so we could all go out and help one another haha. But this board is still very efective.
But your right Fishingthesky, unforunately I dont have a clue if this is a rebound or not for me as this is the first break up my ex and i ever had. It’s just boggles me that she moved on so quickly but your right, we cant really do anything. But we will be ok! As we cant let this one obstacle stop us. Il llet you know if anything comes up but has you ex responded to your goodbye letter? I probably should consider writing one soon. Maybe send it out 1 or 2 months from now.
thanks palmtree, ill keep that in mind, as i most likely wont want to even know about whats going on with her and the new guy, will most likely just makes things worse if i read into it lol i am very glad that you are feeling much happier, im sure ill get happier as each day pass and probably wont hear from her anymore. I probably will do a letter like Fishinghteskys and send it to her with her belongings a month or two from now. We will all pull thru together 🙂
a plus thing i did today was book an appointment to get my full sleeve tattoo done lol. Before i was scared and my ex kept telling me to get it , stop being a wimp lol But now I felt like screw it, what do i have to lose now. I always wanted one and i talked to the artist and booked it lol. I have 0 tattoos and will be doing my full arm within the first session. Will proabbly shock my ex if i ever see her lol. It’s a tattoo of a Dragon from my chest wrapping around my arm, and a picture of buddha on my shoulder. Since my ex and i broke up, i have been really following my buddhist religon and it is really helping my cope with it. It is really teaching me not hold onto bad thoughts, as holding it on is just like poison. Once we let it go, we may finally be at peace.
wow MrsWB, thats a long time to be pinned. I hope i dont get stuck like that, as it mustve been really painful. at this current moment right now i am boxing all my ex’s stuff. i wont give it to her yet, maybe a month or two from now when i am ready to make contact with her again. right now I do no want to as she requested not to call her, probaly best not to make any contact at all. Also saving all my photos in my iphone of her and i , or of her into a external hard drive and than deleting it from my phone. Obviously im not dickhead and would delete 7 years of memories just like that.
ironblood, i know how you feel. I was afraid of that too, when we broke up my ex told me it wasnt to go out with someone else and look what happened now.. but like MrsWB said, all bets are off the table unfortunately. I wasn’t holding onto what she said, cause i had to expect this would happen. But remember this.. you were with her for 6 years? that’s a long time and she will be comparing every man she meets with you, she will be anazying how he is to you, but she will never be as comfortable with you before to this new person. But know this ironblood, this is not a competition. if our ex’s go out with someone else so soon, so be it. Maybe thats their way of healing but it doesnt mean we should do it also to show her. Be the better man. I myself wont be dating, since my ex is seeing someone, let her. But when you reach around day 20+, youll be strong. Right now I am using my rage for her and this new man at the gym , as bad as that is lol but also venting out here helps so much and hearing others input and trying to help others helps also.
Thanks for your input MrsWB, I am sure your ex will return to contact you. As most men they try to get their ex back LATER on when they start to realize what they’ve been missing. But I am sure he will contsct you again but you will be much stronger than.
So some bad news for me, my ex texted me this morning saying not to call her (I called her the other day if she wanted to grab a bite but she never picked up) and the other weeks we’d text but this week she was definitely diffrent, wasn’t her self and I could tell (we don’t text everyday but send s text every few days) she told me not to call her cause she was seeing someone. We broke up 1 and a half month ago. From what ironblood said, maybe I should let go. I don’t want to give up on her but maybe just give her time to explore, give her time to realize and see life without me. Maybe he’s a rebound and get her mind off of thinking me, or maybe he’s the one. But I am much stronger now and I won’t be dating anytime soon as I am not that type of man who will just date in spite. But it is what it is. You will be strong too ironblood, as you said it’s only been 10days of NC, work on yourself. As I did, and I am so much stronger now.
So I think I figured out why she wasn’t acting herself lately.. She texted me this morning saying not to call her, she’s seeing someone. If this was earlier I would be devastated but I am stronger now and it definitely does hurt hearing this but I’ll stand my ground. I just replied” ok I understand” and that’s it. We were together for 7 years and she’s seeing someone after only 1 month and a half of break up. Has to be s rebound to get her mind off me? Or who knows maybe this is her true man. But either way now I’m definitely letting go. I myself don’t plan to date as I’m not ready and I don’t want to just date in spite as I am a much better man than that.
