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That’s really got to be your call. Youre the only one who knows if she will find that an annoyance or not. She did ask you to stay away, which is where my concern comes from. She knows you’re there, the indirect contact through the aunt indicates that; I don’t think you need to reach out to her directly to let her know you care.
He has actually been contacting me non stop. It’s a little strange,
I’m not sure what to make of it after all we’ve been through. I’m just going to let him take the lead. I don’t think I’ll be happy if I’m the one rushing things; plus, I’m a little scared. I realize there’s a “friend zone” possibility here too, I don’t really want to end up there, that will hurt more than silence.How are things going for you Soupy? Any updates?
No. I think you should stop talking to any mutual friends while he is gone if you can. These touches of contact are all getting back to him and aren’t going to make you look great in his eyes. It’s hard but I promise you’ll be happier if you let go a bit
Amy,
I really don’t think you need to worry about this girl. Lin is right, if things did not work out there was a reason. I think I already mentioned my ex did something similar. It really bothered me at the time but I think making an effort with a girl he didn’t like that much pushed him toward me. The space is a GOOD thing.
I ended up getting another text last night apologizing for the loss in contact and we spent about four hours going back and forth catching up. I was really glad I had taken the time to put myself in a better place and that he didn’t know everything Id been doing bc of social media. I can tell he really misses me, but trying not to get ahead of myself here. I hope this gives you some encouragement to keep going. You’re doing SO well but you need to have a little more confidence in the process, you’re going to be fine!
No, he’d only know if he tries to send one to you directly. I think it’s better to go a little dark– less posts makes people more curious about what you’re doing
In my opinion, irregular social media activity points to signs that he is trying to get to you, but I cannot read his mind and have no idea why he is doing this. Please stop viewing them; it’s going to make you sad if you see him with a group of girls at some point on this trip and your might jump to conclusions. Plus, he can see that you are viewing— I’d block him to cut temptation
So my former roommate ran into him at dinner last night. I was actually going to meet up with her until I found out he was there. He sent a nice text wishing well and apologizing for not helping me move (he was supposed to store a space bed I have at his place). It was nice, I replied telling him not to worry about it but refrained from asking how he is or anything… But now I’m kind of disappointed in myself because I am kind of waiting to see if he responds with more.
I completely understand! Having a hard day myself and any help I can give helps me too.
During our last break my ex went on two dates with an ex of his; I think that ultimately made him decide to come back to me. I hope that comforts you some.
Soupy,
You are smart to keep your distance, I think when a relationship goes sour and one partner is having other issues simultaneously, the other partner gets subconsciously blamed for those issues. I’m sorry she’s going through duh a hard time but maybe she will realize it was easier with your support and reach out.I’m thinking I won’t imitate contact at all. We will probably run into each other sooner or later and I will let things progress naturally from there. If that doesn’t happen and I still feel this way in a few months, I’ll reach out. We’ve been so on and off I’m afraid any contact from me will look like I’m begging for another go-around; no matter how cool I play it. What about you?
Amy,
Nothing is final. It may take more patience than you thought but it’s not final. You knew it was a matter of time until he put his profile as single, it doesn’t change your chances of working things out unless you freak out about it to him (not that I think you will). You’re going to be fine, the plan hasn’t changed, just a keep moving forward and know we’ve got your back 🙂
Amy,
I totally get your fears of letting go. Ironically, letting go will be the most likely way to bring him back. I really struggle with this myself, for some reason this seems actually final, and that may be because for the time being I am letting it be final. But I just keep telling myself that there’s more out there for me; whether that be my ex treating me better or a new person. Acceptance is the best thing for you at this point. You don’t know what the future holds so don’t assume the worst or the best, just make note- things are one way today and they may be different tomorrow. I totally get your struggle, I am close to three weeks no contact and I want to go talk it out so badly but I just know as long as I feel like that, it won’t be a productive conversation.
Amy,
It sounds a little like this time will be good for BOTH of you. You strike me as an intelligent person and I think in your heart you know that real self confidence comes from within and any help someone else could give you would only be temporary. As much as this process has torn you down, it sounds like you’re on your way up 🙂 sometimes it takes a little independence to remember how great you are. I know that’s something I’ve struggled with in relationships. Truthfully, I have an easier time when I’m not worried about the opinion of a partner. Regardless of his true reasoning, he felt like things weren’t working so you’ll both need to change for that to change. You’ve got some great ideas for positive life changes; stick to those and he will come around
