[moonbunny]

Sri don’t lose hope here.. I felt it’s because you’re still in an emotional mess. Sorry I’m being a little harsh here but I’m being honest here too. You need to picl yourself up every single pieces . Maybe you should go NC a little longer and do all the things you planned to do. Like get in shape and go back to belly dancing again, give yourself a new hairdo / haircolour, find new hobbies and keep yourself busy. You need to look forward to the future. Maybe you guys can’t be together now but that doesn’t mean you won’t in the future. You can’t be in a healthy relationship if you’re feeling miserable yourself. No one would like to be in a relationship that is full of pressure on them. I take this advice for myself too. I’ve turn into a miserable, overly-attached wreak towards the end of our relationship. The cheerful, confident and positive me that he loved had been GONE. That’s why now I’m trying to find myself again. I want to be happy again before I can love someone again. Because I know I can’t love someone to be happy. It may feel right now but its not gonna be in the long run. So sri, don’t lose all hope, but you have to stay strong. You can do this I believe in you! 🙂

[moonbunny]

Hey scatteredtracks ! 🙂 Awww I wished I could see your puppy and give her a hug! Hehe. I love dogs so much but I never get to have one as I’m living in a apartment :/

I have the exact feeling as you! I’m terrified if my ex is in a relationship or not. And whether if it’s gonna be a rebound since we broken up for more than 2 months already. ;( Yeah I loved him too much maybe that’s even why he left.. shyt. But he used to show me so much love too.. But ever since we started college everything start tp change.. I’ll remember those times always. 🙁 And I’ll assume it’s just because of change of environment and we would still love each other . And maybe we just need time apart to grow up.. Somehow I’m not sure if he feels theres still a connection between us. Feelings are not definite so I hope that we still cross their mind even maybe at the most random times of the day or during midnight when the world is quite.

I believe I would always love him too.. even if life really tore us apart and I’m with someone else he’ll still always have a special place in my heart. Yeah I wished I could just see into the future , I’m tired of struggling like this anymore! 🙁 I have to focus on my studies now at the moment but I just don’t have the motivation.. I’m running out of time D: Your 30 days NC ends in October? I’m planning to contact him too in October. But I’m feeling anxious today that he may have moved on? Although it likely won’t happen but I’m so heartbroken if he’s giving another girl his attention.. Argh I really felt like I’m scratching an open wound. 🙁

[moonbunny]

Yeah I agree on what Platinum said, listen to this girl she knows what she’s talking about! 🙂

I’m going through the same thing as you sri, it’s so weird not talking to my ex. It’s feeling like a part of me is missing. When we used to talk the whole day about everything. The thing is I’ve learned to not look at whether is he online or not anymore. I stopped worrying if he’s missing me or gonna talk to me or whatsover. We honestly had an awesome relationship together, he was my soulmate, my best friend and my closest person on Earth. And this is the biggest problem too, I’ve experience growing up with him for too long I’ve forgotten what’s its like to be independent. But for now I just agree both of us have to go on some time apart and experience life on its own. I believe true love has an habit of coming back because it’s gonna be always there, because real feelings don’t just fade it plays along with time. It’s always gonna be there.

I feel the best thing you can do down is stop contacting him for a little while longer. And really, calm your emotions. We don’t need a man to keep on living, the right ones come and live on with us, bringing out the best in us. Show him that you can live without him. He need to realise he should fight for you like he did before. And you’re not gonna be always there waiting for him. You don’t want him to treat you as a doormat don’t you? Sorry but that’s exactly what I feel I am too – a doormat, for trying to love him too much more than he ever need.

But that’s the old me. I’m different now. I don’t need him to continue living. He’s just a bonus to it. I have patience one day I’m gonna find my jackpot. 😉 Even if it’s him or someone else. The future is so unpredictable, you just can to keep moving on, you really must. Pick yourself up and start living for yourself, a relationship is only a part of our lives but if we’re not happy with our own lives how can we have a healthy relationship with someone? Take this opportunity to grow up, start loving yourself and do things for yourself. One day when you look back, you’ll realise how much time you’ve wasted living for someone else who don’t care at that moment. Have faith that if it’s meant to be it will happen, you don’t have to force anything. Stay strong!

[moonbunny]

He probably just chose to not deal with his emotions. Men are like that they suck at handling emotions compared to women. That’s why I feel you can go a bit NC and see how it goes. You cannot force to build a strong connection in one day or two , it may even take weeks or months. You must take things slow. There’s really no use wondering why he isn’t acting in a way you supposed he will.. because he may be thinking and acting differently now since you’ve broken up. Give him some time to miss you. Then try again maybe in a few days time.

[moonbunny]

Yeah me too! Gotta start really focusing on myself. My exam is so damn near already I have no time to waste. The key is to focus on the connection when you both start having a conversation. Be start positive and cheerful girl. Make him feel good and comfortable while talking to you. Most importantly, be patience. If you’re becoming more attractive internally not just your ex but everyone around you would notice for sure 🙂

Yeah you can do that! Fight for him. fight for what you think you deserve, just make sure you’re working on the right things.

Let’s just.. let go.

[moonbunny]

Yeah that’s exactly what I did too 🙁 I feel as I became insecure, he started to do things to make me happy. I was just desperately want to spend time with him and it end up making me feel like he’s forcing himself to do so. It was always like that at all! I used to be very cheerful and confident with myself.. I just suddenly grew into someone he didn’t even know. But I guess it wasn’t completely my fault or his fault too. He didn’t try to understand me enough and I was on the other hand putting a lot of pressure on him that he will surely understand and depending on him for my happiness. I didn’t realise this while we’re in a relationship but now I do.

It’s great though that this distance made us start seeing a lot of things more clearly 🙂 If only we could turn back time.. but sadly life doesn’t work that way haha 😛
Ohh what breed is your dog? I LOVEEE DOGS! 😀 Reminds me of a stray dog that me and my ex rescued together :/ He loves dogs too like I do.

Omg it must have sucked to see that girl.. I got the exact same feeling. My ex has a huge crush on this girl for YEARS before he met me. And that day I accidentally went into his account and saw that he texted her and basically had a conversation with her. He was trying to make contact with someone that he havent talk to in so long but he cannot make an effort to talk with me?? She has a bf btw..but I guess maybe that’s what your ex have done too :/ Not sure if they’re in a relationship or not but they definitely did contact each other? I wonder if my ex is trying to date someone or whatsoever.. well I wished him ALL THE BEST for finding someone who would love him like I do =.=

Don’t worry to much alright. :/ It’ll probably be a rebound anyway. But if they can replace us so fast with someone else then they seriously don’t deserve us at all. We should stop assuming things that are out of our control. Moreover it’ll only hurt us and slow down our healing process. I too believe we still have a connection, but sometimes I’m just clueless on what to think or hope. And hey you definitely did made him the happiest guy alive before my dear! Trust me your ex did appreciate everything you both shared together or else he wont even want to say to talk on new years. We just have to let them be and time will prove everything. Of course we must keep moving on! 🙂

Go hear some nice music if you want! ‘Moving On – Kodaline ‘ is on my playlist now haha. It speaks to my heart..

[moonbunny]

Hey sri I know you are going through a hard time now.. but from how you express your feelings here I feel you are still not emotionally ready enough 🙁 You are still in an terrified situation 🙁 Maybe you should go for NC for at least 2 weeks and really work on yourself.. reflect what when wrong in the relationship. When you’re still in an emotional state he won’t feel attracted to you because he would feel it : you are so afraid of losing him. You need to show him that you can live without him and feel happy even by yourself. This is the key to a healthy relationship, we woman shouldn’t depend on a man too much. They would feel uncomfortable if we’re acting clingy. You shouldn’t rush to get him back.. because it won’t work this way 🙁 You have to try to calm yourself down for now. And let go. Of all your insecurities. Know that you deserve to be happy you deserve to be loved. If you start to try to hard to force things together with you are doing now.. it’ll only push him away 🙁

[moonbunny]

Sometimes we get disappointed because we hoped and expected too much. :/ The fact is.. they are not the only ones responsible for our happiness. And doing our tough times, we depended too much of them for that. It just led them into a lot of pressure and well.. things started to fall apart then 🙁

I know I know it just feel so right to be together.. why don’t they see it like we do?? :/ It’s really not easy finding someone who has the same heart as you and building everything together and connect in so many ways. I always believed everything can be fixed and nothing is worse than losing each other but I guess at that moment when they broke up with us, they just don’t see it that way. We should really just appreciate this time apart and be our better self but it’s just so hard sometimes it just feels clueless on which direction to head to. And like you’ve said it’s good that you have a ‘deadline’ actually because yeah like you’ve mentioned , at least you two can talk about things and either way you’ll finally be moving on to the right direction. For me I’ll just let things go with the flow I guess.

How did the trip the councillor go ? 🙂 Did he/she give you some helpful advice? I haven’t contacted my ex today and he didn’t too. I didn’t get to wish his brother though.. but it’s okay what is done is done :/ I’ll go NC for a bit and plan ahead! 😀

[moonbunny]

Aww I understand the pain that you’re going through 🙁 You see I feel it’s not completely your fault or his. Because every relationship is hard and has its ups and down. He may have stopped smoking because of you and when he first did it just felt like the right thing to do because nothing is worth more than having you by his side. But at time goes on.. he realised he wasn’t being true to himself. He started to think he was living his life for you. And you’re right young guys are like that. They don’t like to be controlled or felt ‘caged’. Their mum is enough they don’t want their gf to be their another ‘mum’.

You see that’s what happened to me too. I was trying to control him. I was being clingy. I was going through a hard that and I EXPECT that he want to spend time with me as much as I do. Same goes to your ex when he realise you started to control him again all he want to do is get away from you. He want to feel like himself again. But deep down he still love you, but he is confused.

I feel you must play your part to if you still truly love him. And by that I mean accepting who he really is. Because this is what love is, you don’t want to change them to fulfil your expectations you learn to accept every part of them. Although something like smoking weed is actually a very unattractive and unhealthy thing ,but that’s the life he choose for now, as he is still young. Maybe you can sit down and have a talk with him that you know it’s an unhealthy thing and you personally won’t attempt to do it but you accept him for who he want to be. You want him to feel comfortable with you. But if you can’t stand the smell maybe you can tell him to do it less when around you. If he truly love you he will understand. And I really don’t think that he’ll stop smoking any sooner. Just like my ex who loves socializing… the more I try to worry how much girls he’ll ‘accidentally’ attract. The more he want to get away so he won’t feel ‘caged’. The truth is I don’t have those intentions of controlling him in any way, I’m just so afraid of losing him. Little did I know I was the one subconsciously pushing him away :/

[moonbunny]

If you guys want to hear some music I have some recommendation :

Moving On- Kodaline

I just like this band so much.. their music speaks to my soul. I cried when listening to their music but at times like this.. music is our medicine.

Tell me about it after you’ve heard it! 🙂

[moonbunny]

Hey Platinum! OMG I’m glad that he actually did wished you! Shows that he at least still have some balls for doing that..
Anyway it’s really his lost for just walking away like that. You can hate him or curse him, but it’s all just because you still love him deeply and you are hurt.. But I feel the best you can go is let go. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, it means you just let things go with the flow and not worry too much or how it may be and may not. It’s hard to explain but it’s more to a mindset that we have to learn to adapt.

I feel that it’s a good step forward for you ! But just stop thinking too much and let go of all the negative faults. We cannot change them but we can change ourselves. You’re right, he have to work on himself too so you two can get into a healthy relationship together. But if he hasn’t grow up like you did, he doesn’t deserve to be with you.

I have faith that true love have bonds that don’t break easily. It doesn’t mean that they’re not in your life now they won’t forever. Sometimes a break up is only an opportunity for both parties to grow up. You just have to continue moving forward and live for yourself. The right ones will come to you either is our exs or someone better that truly deserve to be with us. Not some sissy who choose to give up ..

[moonbunny]

Yes I agree with your plan! Go on NC for a bit longer to calm your emotions and so when you send him that message it’ll be from your best frame of mind.

Aww.. yeah . I really miss him as my best friend too. I miss all the jokes that we’ve share and the way we used to talk to each other. Sounds like a good plan ! That’s what I’m planning to do to. Don’t fret if he ignored you at first though ! There were a lot of times that I tried to connect with my ex and end up he just ignoring my message. I was sad at the moment but I realised it was just the ‘push-pull’ behavior. Oh and there’s this article that is really helpful for me :

http://exboyfriendinsight.com/what-it-really-takes-to-get-ex-boyfriend-back/

hope you get some insight from here Platinum!

[moonbunny]

thank you sri! 🙂 you must stay strong too alright?
how’s your situation with your ex today?
Platinum, if I were you and if you’re really feeling ready, maybe you can try and contact him. I know pride is getting in the way.. I mean .. he is the one who chose to gave up everything. But a simple catch up won’t mean any harm.. unless he’s a chicken . -.-

But my point is.. if he acts like he doesn’t care at all.. at least you’ll walk away knowing you’ve tried your best , rather that dealing with this unbearable doubts and silence. But also, you can also prolong NC , and try to don’t worry too much about him. Maybe he’s really just too afraid to msg you, he felt guilty for doing this to you, little did he know that all these just show that he’s not acting like a man.

Either way I’ll always support your decisions! You go girl! 🙂

[moonbunny]

Argh my dad said similar things to me too. He kept telling me I shouldn’t give so much and he should be the one coming to me ! I don’t get it that time but now I do! :/
You see sri it’s not like we hold any grudges on them.. we’re just hurt. We are all hurt. I’ve spend more than 3 years with this guy and we knew every single thing about each other. But chose to end things in just a few minutes??

I don’t really hate him.. I just couldn’t get it.. how is he willing to just throw everything away? Not long ago he was the one soooooo afraid of losing me and I’m there consoling him I won’t leave him. then what now? :/

I don’t want to have any hopes anymore.. and like Platinum said, I just missed the old him. But I will choose to move forward, I will choose to live my life now. Sometimes I wished I could just know what he’s thinking, or we can just talk about it. Although I’m on talking terms with him.. but I’m still confused.. I feel lost. But really.. we don’t want to live in the past. We don’t deserve all this pain. Let’s just take it as an opportunity to grow up.

[moonbunny]

Aww @Platinum ! 🙁 First let me just give you an virtual *hug*

Sorry I didn’t saw your post yesterday. And really.. what an asshole he is! He was acting completely immature as you’ve mentioned. He don’t even have the balls to wish you?! Guys are chickens even my ex boyfriend told me before that he is indeed a chicken compared to me. For I choose to give him so much love which he ended up just telling me we should give up.

Screw him for you! D: He really doesn’t deserve you.. is a simple birthday wish that hard? :/ From now on I agree that you should move on in a sense that you won’t give so much fuck about him any more because hey! we don’t need a man to show us our value! They should fight for us instead, love is an equal thing. And guys are like that sometimes they’ll only start to realise once they realise they’d lose something forever. And the best freaking revenge is to start living your life to the fullest. And one day, both of us, we’ll find someone that deserves us! If they ever want to come back, they have to work for it. Because yeah, they freaking made me walk through hell!

Walking away from my ex.. was my last option ever. But he just did it in a text saying we should let go. That’s what he gave me in return for giving him so much love.. and even myself?? Screw this shyt. I ‘hope’ he’ll find someone that love him as much as I do, that’ll tolerate his immature attitude like I do and cared for him so much like I do. And I don’t think he ever will. So they thought their life would be better without us? LET THEM BE. I hope they’re happy too when they see us in someone else’s arms giving them the attention we used to give them! -.-

Stay strong girl! We don’t need a man! And we deserve someone who will do the same for us!

[Author]

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