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@Nell It DOES seems silly! I feel the same way… If I saw him going out with someone else I wouldn’t be hurt. I absolutely agree with you… I am the best he’ll ever get!
It’s been a month since we broke up and my NC is on the 13th day now. Considering how far I have already come, it feels like a lot more time has passed.
@Caz15 No, I wouldn’t have. That makes sense now.
I must say it admires me that I already feel this good. It’s been only a month since we broke up. I never thought this could be possible.
@Caz15 It was devastating at first for me. Now I’m just confused.
How you you think NC proved that?
@Caz15 Yeah, I’m absolutely sticking to the NC and as the days go by, it gets easier. I don’t think I deserve to be treated like that…
I am confused too as I’m not sure I should be with someone like that. I’ve started having second thoughts.
What kills me the most is that he’s not willing to give in at all. I hardly believe he’s going to contact me.
Anyways, I guess all I can do now is wait.@Caz15 Thank you! Yeah, one thing that helped me get over this NC and start feeling better is that my breakup story is so absurd I feel stupid crying about it hahahaha.
We have been together for 5 years, he can’t simply just forget me and dump me like that.Anyways, the people around you will help a lot! Don’t ever lose that bond!
@kiwi My relationship lasted 5 years and I thought I wasn’t gonna recover and that I was gonna be unhappy for the rest of my life… And that’s simply not true. I agree with you! Time heals it all! Congrats for being such a strong person 🙂
@amy90 One week only? Good for you 🙂 you’re gonna go far! I had the same feeling and it’s safe to say things can change for better.
You’re very strong!
@Nell I couldn’t agree more! And hopefully more people will be sharing their stories here, with positive results and a new perspective 🙂
That’s something I will sure teach my kids about. There’s nothing like some experience! hahaha@Caz15 You described it perfectly. It really is like that! I hope everyone in need here gets to feel like this ASAP. It’s seems impossible at first, but it can happen.
One thing I’d like to add: I haven’t seen him in a month and when we were together, I would eager to see him all the time. I had this urge of having him by my side everyday. It’s like through the five years we were together I was completely addicted to him. I would think about travelling to other countries for a few weeks to study their languages but the idea of not seeing him for that brief period was inconceivable in my mind. So I never travelled. Now I feel like it’s alright, you know? I love him (obviously) and I wish to work things out. But now, with the NC, if we ever get back together, I don’t think I’ll be that obsessed person anymore, which is absolutely great and a huge plus in my life. I can even say that breaking up wasn’t all that bad. I created bonds I didn’t have before. When I started dating him, I kinda got distant from my family because the little spare time we had, we would use to be together. Now, my cousin, my sister in law and my mother have been really supportive and I hope to never lose all this. Also, I’ve been investing more in myself (physically and in my future plans). These things would never happen if we were still together I think. I have had many positive changes in my life after he dumped me that if we get back together, it’ll be a relationship much more solid and mature considering all that I already learned. And if we don’t get back together, I’ll be able to use my experience in my next relationship and avoid many common mistakes and unnecessary conflicts.
See? Being dumped ain’t all that bad! LOL
Nell and Caz15: You guys, thank you so much! 😀 It’s nice to see that it is indeed possible to feel better shortly after a breakup! I was a total mess too in the first couple weeks, I lost a lot of weight (which wasn’t that bad TBH 😛 ) and I couldn’t get out of bed. Now I have things to look forward to and they only involve myself. I will do my best to keep feeling this way and hopefully — regardless of the results of my NC — I’ll become a more confident person for real, not just for now. This “detox” is helping me a lot.
Thank you both for your messages in this post. I think the real meaning of NC is to be OK with ourselves… Having our exes missing us is just a bonus. I’ve heard this from my mother and also from my therapist and I think it’s worth sharing: “Sometimes, it’s perfectly okay to be selfish.” After being selfless for a long time, we must look at ourselves for once.
As you said, Nell, I hope this works as an incentive for those who are still in the “post-breakup limbo”.
I think you both are very strong too and deserve the best no matter what!
Hey! First of all, I’m sorry about all you have been through. It’s tough, I know.
Second of all, NC means NO CONTACT AT ALL. My ex-boyfriend’s birthday was a week ago and we had a fight two days before and at that moment I decided I wasn’t gonna talk to him and so I didn’t. Good thing we have many things in common because the gift I bought for him is now mine, LOL. 😛
It seems to me like your boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, whatever, is very sensitive right now because the cancer may have left some scars, like a possible depression state which could make him completely devastated or aggressive with the most irrelevant things. I have never had cancer but I did have depression and it made me react like that sometimes. You said that he is struggling mentally since the cancer and I must ask: has he sought support, such as psychologist? It’s very common that people with cancer end up with depression or other mental diseases and that can effect everyone around because the depressed person tends to get more and more isolated. It’s just a guess, of course. But hey, he is NOT going to find someone in the next minute, so chill haha. It seems to me like he’s really lost and he can’t think things through right now.
