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Hey, it will be fine. There is no way he can move on and replace you. It’s not possible, he probably still feels a lot of pain and is confused.
You are a huge part of his life still. If anyone mentions your name to him, I bet he has an emotional reaction. He cannot move on, not this soon. If anything, he is wondering what has happened to you. You have already gone from ‘needy and desperate ex’ to ‘enigma’ keep it up! Be the elusive ex and he will be back!
I am getting there steadily,back to my old self. I just cannot believe she was so stupid and ruined what we had over insecurity and bewilderingly crazy parents who hate me.
And then to ignore me afterwards and force me of the of her life when she was seeing someone else. Did she not think how much it would hurt? I mean, she was in tears and going crazy when I changed my Facebook profile picture! I know that I cheated, but I made it very clear I would not pursue the girl, as it was not right, and I could not do thay to someone I love. It was such a huge mistake, but she had seen him and listened to her parents advice of leaving me before I cheated.
Apologies, I am still so confused, and it was such a shock.
Hey Caz! How has your day been today? I feel proud that I have made it. Dignity and self respect come back.
It has been a good day for me, as I have been very busy. I have been texting the girl I saw on Saturday, although I doubt I want anything serious, and will take it slowly.
If anything, I feel a little angry at my ex, for the way she treated me.
Day 13, Caz! And it will be two weeks tomorrow. How are you feeling today? I am a little more positive, as I know she has been on purposely osctrcising me, which takes much effort and it a feigned attempt of apathy. Also, I realise that while she is still in this relationship, she is still living with the consequences of what happened and is still obeying her parents will.
Now that I realise this, I realise it is a fools game, and only works if the other player allows to to affect them.
I never thought I would get to two weeks. I remember after we split up, I tried so hard to do no contact. I even left my phone at home while at work. I used to cross of the days, it seemed forever. I could not do it. So to get to this stage is unbelievable. And I could not have done it without your support!
Knitterz, it sounds like some kind of power struggle to me, to see whoever has the upper hand, at least from his perspective. He does sound very immature, and I think this period of no contact is driving him crazy too. Keep up the good work, I think he will come begging again. But I am not sure he can be friends with you yet. That may still take time.
It can drive you nuts to get no response. It is a type of abuse, and the person doing it feels as though they can justify it, only because it is not physical, and they are not being hostile. But it does hurt. Stay strong though, you are doing well and the pain will ease.
Thanks Caz. It gives her an ego boost too. A lot of my previous exes are very good looking and she was jealous of a model friend who always messaged me and sent pictures. So me going crazy made her feel good I think, as she was very insecure.
Thanks Caz. Day 13 tomorrow? 🙂 almost 2 weeks!
You think so? I mean, he is exactly her type – she would always ask me to wear shirts that revealed my chest for example, and I never did. This guy always wears these shirts. Also, she seemed interested in him before and he has access to her facebook – which means they are together on a computer. She said he is cocky before. And he had been pursuing her. Plus, he did state he was in a relationship with her.
He had been messaging her before, she told him she was with someone, so didn’t pursue it. Her parents urged her to break up with me and consider others – and told her to see him on a date, so she did. She had fun with him. She then was berated for choosing me until she cried. She then agreed with her parents to breakup with me and see him instead. She was due to meet him on the weekend after we split – but told him she wasn’t ready yet. She then cried saying she didn’t even want to see him.
Now I think they are actually seeing eachother, and dog videos are an inside joke. I dunno what to think, they must have been together since September now. Also, her best friend started following him on facebook and liked one of his photos. So obviously, they know about him. Gah.
I wasn’t attentive enough towards her. She thought I was a player and I never made her feel secure, I really wish I did.
It’s so ridiculous. Also, I know the guy that she is with now has an inside joke with her about pug dogs. When I saw her profile picture when I discovered she had blocked me and that he had changed his relationship status to with her – her picture was her smiling with a pug. And then he posted loads of videos on his facebook of pug dogs. It’s their thing, because she likes those dogs a lot. I just looked on his facebook just now, and guess what? Another video of a pug, probably because she is away and they miss eachother.
Although I do not know how he could be in relationship, knowing he has destroyed our relationship and that she was made to see him at her parents’ ‘urging’. Sorry, it annoys me so much.
Yes, I think you’re right, they will stand by them no matter what.
Plus, she has gone out of her way to make her facebook profile private. She used to have most things public, but since the breakup, she has completely locked it down. I can no longer see her friends. At first all I could see was a sad face as her status, which she had made public. The sad face was posted on the day we were supposed to meet for closure, she text me that morning, saying she couldn’t do it. Then she posted the sad face on facebook, and her friends asked her if she was ok, because she would never usually post anything personal or sad on facebook – she told me it was intentional and a rule she had. I could also see a depressing picture as her profile picture, also out of the ordinary, as her picture would usually be happy.
Now she has deleted or hidden the sad face, has a happy picture and has now even hidden her hometown and current city, which is way over the top. She is intentionally doing it.
I have seen that said before, about how stubborn a person is. A lot of the time, it is just an act. I think you have an excellent chance, he will miss you and probably already does.
And yes, I did hurt her. But I think I hurt her by changing my profile picture initially, which is where it started – along with the lies.
I have acted so crazy, but what else could she expect? Her friends also ostracised me. I remember hearing from a friend, that her friend had a crazy ex who she would ignore – but that she and her other friends wanted to tell him to go away. So, because I wished to be acknowledged so much, I messaged her friends. I asked them if my ex wanted me to go away, and that if this was true – please could they atleast say it on her behalf. But they also ignored me too 🙁
So she has obviously asked her friends to also ignore me – but she surely must realise it made things worse and not better?
That is such an inspirational comment and so true, thank you 🙂
Well, I saw that article, and it is a form of punishment, and she is actively doing that. It is natural to feel crazy and angry when someone does this to you.
And Caz, I think you will find many success stories on here where the ex has said they did not love that person anymore and was not coming back. It all changes when they regretted it when no contact was established. I would not take those words too seriously.
He does not want that person you were, which led to the breakup or the person after the breakup. He wants you, the way you were before! I think time will heal in your case, you have a very intense history, especially with the cancer. One cannot forget that. He will be back, Caz.
My ex just ostracised me, I read an interesting article about this earlier, which made me feel a little better. She did not come across as a narcissist, but did think I was a ‘player’ and I think it gave her an ego boost to ignore me.
I acted crazy for 3 months afterwards. Being completely ignored drives you down a dark path 🙁 and then you say things and do things that you really regret – because you would do anything for them to at least acknowledge you.
We were happy before, but we also believe you we make them happier than anyone else when we are ourselves. We will keep moving.
Do you find yourself constantly thinking about the situation?
