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In 2 days he had a birthday .
And I was trying to delete all about him . His phone number his viber and skype. ???A lot of things we had. And a lot of time we spent together . 11,5 years dating . One month brake and 1,5 month back and forth .
So I was trying to delete his viber and at that moment my girlfriend from Italy stared calling me and I missed her call and by mistake called viber him ( my ex) instead of her . It was 1 sec call . And I was 99% sure that didn’t went thought. But … immediately he texed me; “I am at work now I can’t respond your call right now. ”
I didn’t read this text so he see that it’s ascendent. Because once you read it’s say on viber : “seen.”It was at 10 am.
At 11 pm I texed him ; ” I didn’t call apparently It’s happened probably through my phone inside of my purse or through my Apple Watch . Anyway , happy birthday and be happy.”
He haven’t responded.
I hope it’s a and of the story .
It’s finished very bad and tragically. But it is how it is . Where is no hope anymore about this relationship , if it will ever work . There no hope he will ever back to me . And there is no hope he loves me .
And a sad part is ,I still love him .My story finished tragically.?
So 9 days ago about, I did wrote him sms; “Hello , what’s going on there with you? Let’s talk and finish the story today.”
He called me in 2-3 hours and said ;”let’s meet and talk. ”
We met at the bar ,he came and he said ; Karina ,I will tell you something you will really not like. I dated woman all week.?
I said ; ” let me guess where you met her ? At the party you been without me ? Yes? ”
He said – yes. ?
Then he said that it was just a 3 dated and he didn’t had sex with her .Just the kiss.? And then he said that he just broke up with her now . And said her like he don’t want date her -sorry .And just left her.
So we stared talking , and he said “yes , you are right love don’t dissapear in one month “.And we talked and talked about all things . And he said like he wants to be with me but worry about his friends , what whey will say about last girl , and what whey will say about us. Because we already broke up.?
I just tald him that is crazy in 41 years old think about that.
And said that ,I am sure your the best friend and his gilfriend also had some problems , I positive . He said yes. And you are right .They been broke up for a while .
So did talked about till 2 am and then , we went to his home and had sex. He tald me that he missed me and yes love don’t dissapear fast. And that he missed my food and I am look more confident with myself and bla bla bla.
Then we started “dating”again.
He was sms me about something at the morning . He invited me have lunch with him. We had some shopping together ,we went to the gym together other day .So we dated one week , I seen him 4 times total . And all seemed pretty good. His mom and his friends keep sending me hello . Like before , when we dated. He texed me .All seemed well.
Then he left visit his mom for one day to other city and came back on Thursday. He asked me out .I came after work and here what’s started. I picked him up and we went to bar. He looked mad, not happy and rude. He stared raise the voice at me. Talking to me rude and disrespectful. Example ; He moved to other side of bar without even me and didn’t told me . And I had to follow him . He said I am deaf. He looked at me like I am insect. Then we decided leave the bar and go to other .In other bar he got really angry at me , stared basically insult me . He was keep saing again that I am deaf, I don’t speak and don’t understand English. I don’t hear him. My face is not happy ,like I look miserable. He is disappointed with me . He said he never noticed that I am like that .? So as longer we been sitting at the bar as angry he been with me and more rude.
I was desperately trying to establish the evening. I begged him not to be so cold and rude with me . I said ;”what’s going on , let’s talk . Please Explain why do you treat me like that ?”???I was calm and very sad.
Then I realized, that he has no love to me in his hart anymore . He probably dates this girl he met at the party . And he likes her . And he just looking for the reason fight with me .I realized he lies me. He probably keep dating her and he just tald me lie story like he stopped .
So he been keeping telling me how bad I am and how much he dislike about me . And I already don’t remember what exactly he said next , I swam in front of my eyes and my head already not pondered clear. All that I remember I give a slap his face said ; fuck you !!! And I left . ?????Sorry girl. I sure it’s nice to hear from him again ! But yes , the question is till when ? Let’s not jump into conclusions . Let’s see . Let’s see what’s will going on.
You not the only one here . There is more , here I am ! Same thing about trying something new . I was reading you and I was in shock how similar my ex told me And I was always same person . From the first to last date . And he told me same ; well , I thought you will change .Well I thought I could handle you . But I guess I am not , now I think I can’t !?
Cool . Thanks for wasted my year!
Fucked my brain for other month , gave me a hope that we couple again, and then said we are not. I don’t understand anything in this world anymore .
Is your boyfriend was born in Europe too?
I guess his parents had very big influence on him .
And he got really confused .
Well will see , real love won’t disappear fast. Time will show .
I go to club now . Because I am so bored, I just try to fill the void . I am not got used being single .
You have a good weekends too!?I do understand you so much !
I was having with my ex same problems .Wow !
When I stared date him I was 31, and he was 40 .I tald him on a first date that I am looking for serious relationship and if it works then marriage .
It’s a long story . Long story short he was ok with this idea . He , took me to San Diego to introduce to his mom . He did considered me fiancé . He was in my home county too late summer . .He was saing that he wants kids .
What’s what is was saing. I don already know that is true what is not.
Then after Tahoe we got in first very big fight about that . He said I am pressuring him with marriage , and kids . It was the “first call”Then he completely stared changing . Day by day. It’s similar with your situation . I have USA documents and he didn’t worryed about that part . But …
He has his fear about money ?. He is from wealthy family , only son .He so much worried about his money .He had fear I dated with him because of that. I really don’t know that is in his head. Last time I met him he said he dont want to be married and don’t won’t kids it all. Like child free . It’s was not a deal when we just met. Before he was positive he wants . ?I guess he doesn’t wants with me .
Yes , girl , I so understand you . I really believe it was truthful love for you . I can see that . I can read even here and feel . But a lot of Americans so worry about documents issue . ? You know . Its very complicated topic.
I know how is here, it’s hart .
But I think if you really love some one it’s not going to be an issue .In our cases also there is cultural difference. It’s also can be a problem. Not a all guys want date foreigner woman .First they are very exited try somethings new. And after they usually get disappointed.?
I don’t want to know too . I was working in this relationship hard , and for that relationship I worked hard .I worry about what if my ex will just now meet somebody and get marry within 3 month. That’s happened all the time unfortunatly. Very good frind of mine she just had that . She was dated a guy 7 years !She stared date him when he was 26 or so . He was inmuture , not very responsible , very younge , not very seriouse .And my gilfriend made him basically . It’s took her long time like 3/4 years before he in general stared tell about her like – it’s my gilfriend and my fiancé . He was moving bake and force with her to his ex gilfriend he been with 5 year! He first didn’t wanted anything , marry , kids, relationship . . But then something still went wrong and didn’t got married . They broke up when she was 33 years old last year and and him too . And then he stated almost next day date a girl for two weeks , then other , then other . And almost 6 month of dating short term with 5-10 different girls. 2-4 weeks each of them . And then he stared date one other girl and in 2 month he proposals this girl .Can you Believe ? ?My gilfriend in shock .
I sorry to hear .?
It’seems like you ex still thinking about you .I don’t think he in relationship now , that’s why he wrote you .
Even if he is . Not fact his next relationship will work . Not fact .
Our exes both immature like you said before and it’s sad . They don’t understand still by age 36 and 41 that as long as person love you and care about you and ready for changes it is big deal . They both looking for perfect . And not as many perfect there are .They are also not perfect .
I am 33 in a few month and I cant wait for him forever . I need to figure my future. If even he will decide come back in a year or two , I can’t wait for him.? I am pretty sure he will not come back never. Because He is move on fast .
Life is not at a standstill.
I have to move forward . And build life and new relationship.
Now , I even didn’t want to think about stay with other man , or date some one . I still have strong feeling to my ex , I don’t know how long it’s going to be like is .?Oh so nice really . Very cool that you guys have traveled.We live here too California .
And you said it was 1,5 years ago ? He is dating come one now ?
If you not mind me to ask , where do you live now ?Oh girl .I so understand you. We been with ex Norwey, Spain, Costa Rica ,San Diego, Napa , Las vegas, Tahoe for a year of dating. I so much loved to travel with him . God.
I still thinking about if I going contact him and ask. His birthday coming . Should I say – Happy birthday ?I go to Italy in 2 weeks .Just bought ticket. I try relax and forget about things. My best friend living there 8 year. So go to visit her.
Yes ,we are soulmates girls!
Haha , I really enjoyed reading you and I laughed .You made me lough. I thought I will not able to do that for long time.
Especially the last part:
(As to your point about his friends – yes, they don’t want him to have a life so they can hang around his house and drink his free beer. My ex had a lot of friends like that – hanging around his house, drinking beer, eating his food, playing video games, making a mess. I wanted to kick them all out and I would if we lived together. I’m sure they wouldn’t be happy with that.
Anyway, if you guys get back together, he needs to stop being a pussy (excuse my language) and finally get a life without his loser friends.)
And that
(So he wants someone who: fits his life, fits his friends, doesn’t get jealous, likes being criticized, doesn’t get emotional, in short, doesn’t cause any trouble. What else? He may as well date a blow-up doll)
Yes , and good point , THEY ARE nice , good people , good guys , but its time to be mature.I am not sure he can. I think I am going give him a week of NC and going to ask him directly WHATS GOING ON? I going to do that for myself. I just want to hear what and move on , I really don’t understand all those games and don’t like them. I find it easier to hear no once-NO, than hear lies like : ” I must thinking about us , give me time.”
if I will not do this I won’t be able to forget him quickly , I find it much easier to suffer once than thinking – what if , what if ?
I will just ask him in a week and will tell him , ok THEN good bue , I got it.
Because I have had that experience when I was 25 ,with a man me and him didnt said good bue and I was really not happy 6 month and lost 1,5 year thinking about why. And could not date anyone. I need to do that.Thanks for advising ?I really appreciate it. Thanks you so much that you here with me . ?
I don’t try idealizing him. I am 32 years old and I am old enough to understand who I need . He is loyal ,generous calm ,patient , nice person really. 70/30 positive and not. I am not perfect ,not even close to that .
We fought not only because of his friends Ofcouse . Just in general I am less patient , more emotional, more yell. He is calm . He said 2 days ago I am to much for him. To difficult he said .? But I been like this all the time , since we met . And he liked .In January we went to Tahoe sky, with one of his best friend . And I had period , I was inpatient, nervous, emotional. And 2 days later my ex boyfriend said ;”my friend said you are bad for me ,and we not good match and bla bla bla.?
I was in shock ,that’s not his business ,exuse me . Good friend will never say that . And his friend married and have 2 kids!
I was really not happy about that . And it’s turn to fight between us. And since than he stared bringing me that more and more what is his friends thinking about me.? And I didn’t like it more and more .And keep tell him : why you are tell me that and listen that ? And I v seen past 3 weeks , every time he spent time with me , he warming up , nice , and ack like boyfriend. Every time I haven’t seen him 3-5days he spent time with friends he doesn’t wants me .?
He Sounds uninterested and cold . What’s going on ? I never fought with any of his friends. I never been rude.We made Halloween party last year at his home , we invited all his friends , like 30 people ,I cooked ,I entertain them all. That all said I am such a good host. I really did my best .
Once in while We invited them to his home and I cooked my national food ( I am European) And all friends seem to me happy .
He tald me 2 more things when I seen him last time . You never integrate with my friends, you never been close with them .
( that’s it’s supposed to mean !?)
And you are very jelouse.?? I swear, I am less jealous woman in the word .I let him do what he wants . He party without me , he seen his friends .He had his own time . I never said anything. Just one time I said (after that heloween party we went to club , me him and his best friend with girlfriend and one more single woman ) This woman got really drunk and stared jump on my boyfriend and act vulgar. Try to dance with him very vulgar way . Supper vulgar . When we went home I told him that I didn’t like that , and he said that He didn’t remember all that. ? That’s it. Guess what ? He remind me that ,few days ago and told me that I am supper Jelouse woman.? he don’t like it. And she is his best friend and she is all good and never done any thing wrong . And I am bad one, Jealous one.
You are made very good point . Thanks!
It’s a big qwestion if I need man who is so easy gets in to influence. It’s always going to be something. But when I with him he lestern me and it’s good . I think if we are would be together he would slowly got to my side more.
I don’t understand why his friends don’t want him to be in couple. Why they want him bening single ? Its convenient for them ? Because he has house and they can party and stay there or he can pays for all the beer.I don’t really understand why they all with a gilfriends , want him to be single ?
I remember now , when I stared date him I asked :”why you broke up with your last gilfriend?” And he said ?; she doesn’t liked my friends . Now I understand what it means .
You girls right about two things , you made good point. Fists ; if he really loved me he wouldn’t move one so fast . Second -friends . It’s unnormal that he is listens his friends so much .
41 and still?Dear Divinegirl.
First of all thank you for support and nice words . It’s really helps a lot.
Unfortunately in my case scenario I was the person who didnt composited . He did ,almost all the time , he was the person who listened more then Talk .I am the person who been angry and mad more then him. And I was the person who distorted all. He has nice calm personally . He is more calm then me . We are like + and -. If he criticized me wich he did a lot a was not able to listen calm and was getting it to emotions. Cry or yell or getting offended. He was the person who always say sorry , let’s compromise, let’s talk . What I really had problem with in that relationship it’s -his friends . When we are together his him I had influence on him , he listens me, once he spent time with all his friends he stars criticism. My friends said that about you , or that . It’s really got me upset of so much . All his the best friends are engaged or married. He is 41 !I am 32 .
I left him for 28 days and I lost him. They ( friends ) wone him. They never liked me for some reason, and now he is listening them!Thats what I think . When I saw him two day ago and we talked he stared with; you not my girlfriend, we broked up still , we not good couple , we not get along, we not good match . Then when I stared talk and explain that’s I sorry I was wrong about some things and I am ready for compromise and I think our relationship has chance. He stared worming up again and said he need to think about it. His mood change positive way and he said he will think a little about it and soon let me know . When we said good buy each other he hugged ,kiss me and said he looking forward to seeing me today after he will finish exercise with his friend . And … he didn’t . He texted me at 11 pm and said ;” I getting late after game , going sleep , good night “. I was waiting his call till 10 pm and fall asleep. In the morning I just checked my phone and seen that sms.?I texted him back that I did fall asleep last night and we were texed each other 2/3 more sms.I really tried make him talk to me , asked him some advice about work and few more things .
His responses have been completely cold .He been responded me in 3/4 hours later. He changed again . Looks like he don’t want to talk again.
Cold , uninterrupted, unmativated . What should I do? Ask him talk and finish this story complity or just no contact any more ?You are right .I don’t think he will get back of course , he is not that kind of person .
See ,once he moved on , he moved on. I have to stop contacting him again . Just for myself. And try to recover my life and myself.
I did all I could, there is nothing I can do any more. If he is still mad or can’t forgive me for something , it’s not my problem , it’s probably his. I must leave him along. And you are right about that , I should stay away from man who doesn’t love me enough.
