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That’s really quite cruel man… Who would have thought a person was capable of being so heartless and remorseless to another person who’s only trying to love them. It makes me sick. Honestly man I don’t know what else to say… Just stay in NC and continue doing things to move past this. If she does message sometime in the next few weeks then she’s shown interest. You need to take it slow. Worst case scenario, you can wait it out until it’s not such a heart wrenching feeling anymore. Then you could briefly contact her saying that you hope she’s well and you’re doing well yourself. That you would like closure, as it’s a vital thing to do after a break up. Not knowing the truth behind what or why something happened can be damaging and destroying and can even lead to physically illnesses.
Hey mate,
Again I feel like you’re just a little upset right now. I know a similar feeling to you as I’m going through a similar thing myself. But you need to told it all together. It’s said that on average it takes about 1 1/2 years to get over a marriage divorce. And that’s a full blown marriage break up. I know it’s hard.. But she will message you again. So dont keep thinking that. And whenever you do.. Just remember that she was with you for so long, she’s used to you. Even if she did try to move on with someone else at this point in time, It would be beyond hard for her because of how used to you she’s gotten. She’ll realise it’s not you and she’ll feel she’s messed up. Stick with NC. I didn’t want to use NC myself because of how hard it is to do such a task. But it really does work… Somehow. Also I remember you saying that she doesn’t feel like you put in enough effort. But what if.. You became the guy that puts in the effort and makes her feel special. I mean she’s already familiar with you so you’ve got an advantage. If you can prove that you’re just as worthy or even better than anyone else, no matter what she’ll always be around. Anyways.. Think about it.
And I think staying in NC would be the best option. Just for now or until she messages you again. If she doesn’t message anytime soon, then wait it out until you’re ready. If you really still feel the same way about her after your time apart. When you’ve remade yourself.. Maybe sending her a hand written letter would be the way to go. Something personal and sentimental like that.. How long have you been in NC straight for now?
Also, whenever I’m hurting I find that reading a lot of soulmate writings are beneficial to making me realise how special my relationship was with my ex and how I will not give up on this so easily. Because you never know.. You may never have something so sacred with another person. It’s long, but read through this as your own pace.
Greetings fellow brother,
I too have just read through your entire story. And to be honest I feel we can all relate to what you’re feeling if we’re in similar positions of our own. Though it’s different to some (as well as myself right now) in the broken down aspects it’s all the same. Something went wrong. Shit happened. Someone got hurt. While te other person made the person in misery even more miserable.
Brother… I’ve went through the similar stages of message overloading. But I’ve learned now that it just annoys the shit out of her and makes you us look needy and weak. My situation is a little different. She broke things off with me several weeks ago because she started talking to her ex again. But the matter of the fact is that once I learned to not message her, that’s when she came back. She became herself again and realised that het ex just isn’t the same as me. Since then we’ve spoken and moved forward. Although at the same time she’s been speaking to her ex. Right now she’s confused ad to what she wants but she doesn’t want to lose me. Until a few days ago I fucked it all up when I broke again and made myself seem needy. The moral of the story is that the honest best thing you can do is to make as many positive changed in your life as possible (just like you’ve been doing). I know you’re hurting but maybe cut back on the doom and overwatch and work on things that are going to make you a better person. I’m not sure if you exercise or anything, but maybe get yourself a gym membership and get in there and beef yourself up. Exercising releases endorphins which essentially make your body happy. What your goal to do is to make yourself as desirable as possible. Continue to ignore your ex until YOU truly feel that you are ready to work this out. Forget about all these other guys, fuck them honestly. She doesn’t share the same feelings with them as she does you. (this is an ideology that I’ve also put into my own head because both her and myself know That there’s no way her ex is even capable of making her feel as special as I made het feel, and for me as soon as she realises that she’s going to come back again. She’s going to see how well I’m going and how great I’m looking). Also maybe go out and spend a little money on yourself on some new clothing or something fashionable. You could even start reading books, increase your vocabulary and intellect. That’s what you need to do brother, man up and start doing stuff that’s going to make you look and feel amazing about yourself. Become that decisive, great looking, confident, well presented, intellectual, funny guy. The overall ultimate bachelor. When she messages you, you need to be ready to show her the world, get ready to make more of an effort and perhaps even you be the first to send her good morning texts, effectively making the first thing she does in the morning is smile and realise how luck she is. When you do eventually see each other again. You want her thinking “why the fuck did I ever leave this guy, he’s amazing.” Shape ourself into a better person brother. And use your time of this NC wisely, you want to blow her mind!
