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So I tricked her into answer a few questions: according to her she has had to think of us and our relationship and more and more lately and according to her makes “hate” the dating she is doing and perceive it as a waste of time. Also she told me that I’m still the most important person in her life followed by a <3.
Strange this is killing me haha.
I’m gonna try using the Relationship Rewind techniques from here. I’ll keep updating if it works.So this is super interesting and I WOULD LOVE some takes on this: I had a conversation with her about dating. She was basically saying how shes playing the field and learning what other people see in a relationship and dating. All in all she says that she finds it sad the way people approach relationships but she is happy that she is learning for herself what she wants in a relationship and what she doesnt; what is worth spending time on and what isnt. She does acknowledge that we obviously had a very unique relationship but never ever mentioned us as a measurement stick for dating. I couldnt tell but the vibe to me was that she is trying to find a new to get serious with, no indication that that could be me though… any thoughts?
nvm false alarm she answered and even then randomly sent a photo of us on our last vacation in paris! Cant be that bad then.
Thanks torma! I read through Relationship Rewind and decided that I will try a false friendship since it does make sense to try if you play your cards right. I actually also like the idea of being the for a short while and then kind of getting more quiet. Good tip.
So we have been writing for a couple of days now fairly casually (though I get this small sense of ‘tension’ in the sense of awkwardness I guess). All of a sudden she just stopped answering… thoughts? I feel like I have read about when that happens but what does it mean?thanks for the responses guys. I’m wondering what she is hinting at though. Is she just hinting at friendship or in the bigger picture does it sound like she is open to coming back into the relationship? I couldnt judge.
Yup no worries most definitely a rebound. Obviously he knows youd see the photos and probably to an extent thats the point! I woulndt worry at all for now, as hard as it can be. And btw who cares if she’s hot. If she’s hot and nothing else then you could either assume a rebound or a friends with benefits. At this point I wouldn’t worry regardless of what their status is (just dont put your nose in it; if he tells you fine, otherwise dont ask! its probably the easiest way to setback the situation). Remember 99% of the time people arent fit to be in a real relationship after just getting out of one so even if he starts dating you should actually be somewhat at ease. I would only worry if he stays single and then gets together with someone else maybe a couple months down the road. But right now I dont think there is anything you should worry about, as disturbing and heartbreaking as it may be.
I think it can be certain that if he hooks up with anyone right now it probably wont mean very much. Even if he dates someone and acts like the happiest man in the world for a little while. I did something similar to my gf like your ex did to you and I can tell you in the end it was me trying to get her back. Its either meaningless flings or rebounds. If he really loved you it would be impossible for him to just forget right away. Keep in mind the first couple of months in college a exciting you meet a lot of people etc so you tend to lose perspective until things kind of settle out — I think first semester freshman year may be the easist time a guy could ever get laid in his life and even if youre in love it can sometimes be very hard to resist that temptation especially if you arent in the same social circles anymore. Its a question of time. If you play your cards right you could get him back in time but be patient.
I can say that as a guy who was been through what you bf is going through right now. I dumped her, worked hard to get her back and now she dumped me, trying to get her back again! Thats how things can work out sometimes so dont beat yourself up right now!Yeah I’m somewhat in a very similar situation like you. The differnece is I have been through this before; I wanted to get my gf back after me dumping her. This time im the dumpee but because of that I have some insight into how she functions. I do think each person is different, and the breakup reason does matter, however what has worked for me in this circumstance is to not be inviting with your answers. Basically women do this to stoke their own egos (sicne what better feeling to know you ex still bows down to you) so particularily after NC I would answer but leave it short and don’t invite another question or remark. If you can convey some indifference (and actually accept that youll be fine if you never end up together again) it will drive them crazy. Then start showing mixed signals. So maybe after being indifferent upon her texting you, shoot her a text about “I saw x and it reminded me of you” or something like that and then go quiet again. For me doing this really allowed me to not only gauge whether she was interested again but puts leverage on your side; which is the biggest favor you can do yourself in this situation. IF you become somewhat mixed and unpredictable from my experience it becomes easier to gauge whether she actually still wants you deep down or if she is just using you to stoke her own ego.
