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She’s phoned me twice in her phone then I’m pretty sure she’s used her home phone to phone me. I’ve ignored it all. If worst comes to worst i could say my phone was off. She tried to catch me out to see if i was ignoring.
I have no idea what to even say to her now on the phone. Im nervous. Should i keep ignoring?
Now she’s replied when I’ve ignored “Don’t say something like that and then ignore me what do you need to be honest with me about” i read the message straight away by mistake so she knows ive read it but i don’t wwnt to reply. I almost feel like i can’t even talk to her at the moment. I know jts not the right time… i dont know.
Now she’s liking things like ” i don’t know what’s emptier, my bank account or my love life”
She’s also deleted my best friend from her facebook. ( i deleted her off my facebook on the day we broke up).
Is she moving on?
So far i haven’t replied to her. I don’t know whether i should at this point. Lol sorry patricia for the amount of time you’ve known me i feel like i must drive you mad! Haha .
I don’t know if I’m looking into this too much. I saw her like a quote on social media saying “even if we can’t be together in the end, I’m still glad you were part of my life”
Does this mean she’s really give up? Lol i know i shouldn’t be doing this to my self. I know i shouldn’t lol . … i have 2 past experiences with her … . Ahh its just i canr control my self for the first couple days.
Oh i was never with girls in the snapchat it was just pictures of landscape in london.
She replied to my “can we talk? I want to be honest with you” saying “about what” but now i have no idea if i want to even bother at the moment. Shall i just ignore it for a week or two and go no contact? Or should i reply? Have i made a mistake?
I’m such an idiot i keep getting weak after repeatedly being told not to contact her. I messaged her just now its 11:49pm . I said ” can we talk? I want to be honest with you”
Idk if this was a good idea but if she replies im planning to ask what the problem was. Cause i still don’t know a 100%. I want to tell her that i thought we already have been through this and I thought we could get past this together especially now that we have money to do things together. Ive just sent ” can we talk? I want to be honest with you ” in a spontaneous and irrational manner. I regret it already. Am i making things worse.
Now that i have alone time to think last friday i was a dick to her. When we were meeting she kept texting me where i am and i didn’t realise it was just her phone not sending messages and it came through all at once and i just snapped. I said “chill fucking hell”. Just i dont know. Maybe that triggered this along with my comment i made. I really miss her.
Also i have to admit something. But i can’t admit it to her. She left her facebook logged on my phone and i saw her searching for a guy yesterday and today. And i did some snooping, he is one of the teachers that work at the school shes just started working at. (She’s a secretary in training) i know i should have logged off straight away with what happend last time lol. But i kept it till an hour ago. I logged off. I don’t know her password however. But could this be something? I remember she mentioned last week about how the teachers and office people don’t hang around together in the staff room. I remmebr her saying all the staff are fairly young like in there 20s. I just can’t imagine a 20+ year old man not finding my ex in a tight dress with glasses a typical hot secretary not hot. Is there something going on do you think? She didnt find the person however she kept searching for his name. This hurts.
Just to add i deleted her off Facebook pretty much as soon as i left her house. It’s pretty much day 3 and today im in london with my best friend who’s moved there for university. I uploaded a snapchat story showing the view from the train. She viewed the snapchat instantly. Will this possibly make her jelous or will this back fire on me? Am i doing the right thing by showing everyone im still having fun?
The thing is she showed signs of losing interest very fast. Like from what i noticed it was like a week or maybe abit longer. I said something last weekend cause we hardly talked and just sat in bed while she slowly fell asleep. I said ” is this how it’s going to be every weekend now?” . I’m stupid. Maybe she took that in and it really changed her mind. I’m not sure. I just want her back to show her we can totally work out! I’ve never been so close with some one in my entire life. She’s a huge part of my life and maybe that’s the problem? I don’t know… all i know is like i said i want to fight for her.
I think as we slowly stopped the traditional dating we fell into this almost unconscious mode that we had to spend everyweek end staying at mine and before i knew it .. it had been a good month or two since we did something.
I regret it so much cause we keep making this mistake and it slowly makes everything else in the relationship collapse, we put in less effort, sex is a chore, communication turns into scripted conversations. Everything turned into a schedule almost. And i hate that. Cause I’m personal spontaneous… well i use to be and thats what attracted her. Don’t mean to sound cocky but i am different from other guys. I even use to dress different.
I almost lost my self then found my self and focused on one aspect of the relationship. Almost forcing us to bond with seeing each other all the time instead of having fun and letting happen naturally by spending quality time not quantity? lol.
When i said i missed her. She completely ignored it. That hurt I guess. She really feels weird about me. That hurts cause i know deep down there is something. She just has her defence up all the way. I hate that she thinks I’m a boring loser who keeps forgetting or not taking my male role. I did it again i shouldnof took charge. We almost started speaking to each other really cute like putting voices on ( cringe i know ) but it was like not all the time but occasional like we would mess around. Maybe we did that too much instead of just normal talking? I don’t know.. maybe I’m over analysing it.
I know no one knows but from your point of view… do you think i even have a chance this time? …. lol i know its too much to ask at the moment. I should be focusing on repairing my self. I just want to know. Cause I’m still willing to fight for her and swallow my pride for the moment.
I don’t think many of them were serious however. I think they were like imature relationships. Like she wasn’t a “slut” she lost her virginity to me vice versa.
Yes you are right as usual patricia i think she just wanted excitement and like i said what we did was hardly exciting lol.
No the arrangements weren’t made but she was aware that we were going to go but just didnt know when. I was going to suprise her cause i felt we needed something new and exciting to just reignite the excitement. She even asked her dad for good advice as when her parents were young they use to visit.
She’s still living with her parents like i am. My mother told me to leave her alone for abit and maybe buy her tulips as a reminder of Amsterdam but i don’t think that she would a) get it and b) it may possibly come off as needy.
I feel like she almost feels like the relationship ran its course. But i still don’t feel that. Like i have with past relationship but never with this. I still feel our relationship has not reached its full potential. I think it was around 60% almost lol. Does that even make sense? Haha. Like there was so much to do and talk about and try. Like when we got back together we went out and did the classic dating. I remember we visited this vintage store and it had a photo booth and we took pictures and she even put the pictures in her memory box. We’ve never done that before. I feel as if we didn’t do and experience new things together. Like i feel theres so much more to us that being in bed all day and being miserable to the point shes so turned off me that she feels trapped and wants to end it.
I don’t think many of them were serious however. I think they were like imature relationships. Like she wasn’t a “slut” she lost her virginity to me vice versa.
Yes you are right as usual patricia i think she just wanted excitement and like i said what we did was hardly exciting lol.
No the arrangements weren’t made but she was aware that we were going to go but just didnt know when. I was going to suprise her cause i felt we needed something new and exciting to just reignite the excitement. She even asked her dad for good advice as when her parents were young they use to visit.
She’s still living with her parents like i am. My mother told me to leave her alone for abit and maybe buy her tulips as a reminder of Amsterdam but i don’t think that she would a) get it and b) it may possibly come off as needy.
I feel like she almost feels like the relationship ran its course. But i still don’t feel that. Like i have with past relationship but never with this. I still feel our relationship has not reached its full potential. I think it was around 60% almost lol. Does that even make sense? Haha. Like there was so much to do and talk about and try. Like when we got back together we went out and did the classic dating. I remember we visited this vintage store and it had a photo booth and we took pictures and she even put the pictures in her memory box. We’ve never done that before. I feel as if we didn’t do and experience new things together. Like i feel theres so much more to us that being in bed all day and being miserable to the point shes so turned off me that she feels trapped and wants to end it.
