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My ex just posted a picture of her tattoo near her chest on her snapchat story saying it was fading and i accidentally clicked on it to watch it. Now she knows I’ve seen it and she only posted it like 18minutes ago. Is this bad? Does it look like I’m creeping? Did she post it to provoke me? As she was showing some skin? She knew when we got back together I didn’t like her showing off that tat as it was so close to her boob. She didn’t show any cleavage just her tat and belly. Was it to make me jelous? Or was she just posting it?
Thanks MrsWB, it’s really hitting me hard at the moment as i start university tomorrow and I’m very nervous aswell as missing my ex like crazy. I just want to talk to her. We were good at comforting each other during nervous times. I just want to reach out but I know i must not and I wont.
I need to add aswell lately i have been very tired with late nights diet being really bad i almost feel very tired. Sometimes when she use to.come round I’d be that tired I’d have to say hey I’m sorry but im really tired and we would end jp just sleeling straight away. I need to be that energetic spontaneous guy she fell in love with. That’s another thing to add.
To add also I was very feeling of her… i think? lol not cause i was horny but just feely cause she had an amazing body.. i was always grabbing her behind or smacking it in a fooling around kind of way. I’m not sure whether that slowly made her uncomfortable? I was very affectionate at times which she may have found as if i was man handling her maybe or abit too much? Like i always grabbed and hugged her randomly? Or asked her to come over and hug me randomly? Maybe I’m overthinking this and making my self look like a huge creep in the process LOL. I’m just trying to be completely open and find out what exactly went wrong. Hope i don’t sound like a creep.
Yes it would be cool if we could meet and vent to each other lol. I live in the UK.
I completely realise now why sex wasn’t great, referring back to the routine we almost just rolled round in bed then started having sex instead of it being lead on throughout the day like we use to. Like we use to go out then we’d feel this tension and when we got in just go crazy..lol too much detail?
Could you possibly give me some advice both of you? How could i stop sex from getting boring? How do I keep it so it doesn’t get stale and we don’t end up annoyed or frustrated. It almost got to a point where i expected sex every time we got “horny” instead of thinking about her pleasure. I guess i was like this becuase it hurts her on most occasions and some occasions it doesn’t and i juse can’t tell if shes just saying that at times so i try and push towards sex. Maybe that was bad. She was turned off by this incredibly. She likes being talked to dirty…lol but i just wasn’t that great at it especially when she puts me in the spot. ( it never got to rape LOL… reading back it sounds very strange i meant as in she would tell me she wouldnt want me to put it in then suddenly she did and i could never tell)
Also I was/am in a similar situation pingpong. I lost weight and gained alot of muslce during the last break up. I was on a strict no carbs diet. But then that all stopped after a couple of week back together i slowly let go of my diet got comfortable and eventually stopped working out. I could tell she really liked the look of me after working out. She’d always feel my arms and i was getting a 6pack lol. ( i have 4 ). I’m not exactly fat or skinny just slim. I find it hard to put on alot of weight but i definitely put on belly chub.. lol.
My confidence also decreased. I really do believe most of the damage in the relationship was down to the routine and constantly sticking to it. I really want to change things do random fun things togetheror even the simple dating. I want to be happy. I hate the negativity constantly. It’s like we both start slowly declining in moods and eventually get snappy. I want to keep it exciting and for her love not to fade if i ever had that 3rd chance. Which i really desire. Although yes i have accepted we need to let the old relationship go. Completely. Which we thought we did but in small little outbursts we’d bring up the past and that obviously didn’t help. Everything reminds me of her and i can’t see how it isn’t vice versa considering most her photos on social media are related to me. For example she changed her whatsapp picture to her small shoulder tattoo which i took? Lol. Most of her instagram pictures are related to me e.g the location photos and some of her make up pictures i took… ( i have a better camera on my phone).
I’m having constant mood swings from trying to ignore the pain to feel like I’m moving on and expecting not to win her back to feeling as if she’s coming back to I can’t even be bothered.
But I know deep down I’m still fighting even unconsciously for her. But I’ve realised .. why should i be the one constantly changing… why can’t she improve her self? I want her to be more open with me with everything… sex how is it? What does she like? Etc. I guess i should of discussed this which leads to another error of bad communication near the end of our relationship. I want to make her crazy for me again. And i want to keep that.
You guys are very kind! I can’t believe you guys have gone through what you say you have with your past exs.
You are right. Let’s make a change together and help each other stay positive. The cold hard truth is clear, if we mope around feeling sorry for our selves – this won’t improve our mood, personality or person. We need to constantly move forward. Although we are deeply hurt during the NC phase we have to stay strong. Think of happy thoughts with your ex if you can’t stop thinking about her. Just stick to the plan. It’s proven it works since I won her back twice.
I’m very unsure about the 3rd time as the damage has been done but I refuse to give up on some one I belive is the love of my life until I know for sure I have no chance at all. I swallow my pride for this girl. You guys should not give up until you know 100% you can’t get your exs back.
At the moment it may look hopeless but (cliché incoming) time does heal people. I hope and wish we all get what makes us happy. I want to thank everyone so far for helping me vent and giving advice.
I see her active on instagram liking posts. She use to tag me in cute animal videos and now everytime I see a cute video I think of her… and they’re all over the internet. Lol. I’ve realised how boring of a boyfriend I’ve been, sex life was pretty bad. I feel spontaneous all of a sudden. I’m not going to give up on this girl. It may take some time but I can’t give up at the moment.
That is very true. We can’t help our nature as humans. And no I have not seen the film. I wouldn’t really want to put my self through that much pain lol. How are you coping?
I also know it’s her moms birthday and we were suppose to go shopping to buy her a present and i said i would buy her a card but lol… i miss her like crazy. I generally have never been so close to another human being. This sucks so much.
Thank you both of you! I’m still trying to be strong. I know she was out today with her friend for shopping and lunch and usually if they go out for the day they go out together for a night out. I’m scared she’ll do something with another guy.
The last time we broke up she was on a dating app speaking to this guy and they talked on the phone and she admited they were both talking dirty. That was what made her come back last time. She was ashamed that she even went on the dating app let alone talked to some one. They were suppose to meet but she told me she cut him off after 3 days of texting and said no one could replace me and that she knows she shouldn’t have done it. She said she was lonley and didn’t want to think about me and she said she understood if i dont ever want her back. She wrote a huge paragraph basically saying she’s sorry and that she’d always love me.
Now i have visions of her just going out and guys approaching her. I have to admit she is very beautiful – that’s not even the right word. I’m not just saying this cause i love her she’s generally really hot! That’s why I’m scared that she’ll move on in a rebound. If she even touched another guy in a sexual way i could not forgive her.
From the past 2 break ups she doesn’t reach out for a while then suddenly reached out opening up. I obviously hope she does this again but it doesn’t seem likely. And I meant she kept pictures of the locations/views from where we went together. We’ve never actually uploaded pictures together either as we didn’t really think it was a big deal. Although she did use have a heart next to her name to signify she was taken lol. But she removed that when we first broke up and never put it back since. She also deleted the photo of the roses i got her after the first time we broke up also but never has deleted the photos i stated above. Not sure if it means anything again however.
And lol belive it or not i actually said that to her. I forgot to mention but before i asked her to tell me to move on etc.. i actually said i don’t mean to sound cringey or cliche although it is, i understand the saying if you love some one you have to let them go and we did have a little giggle at that. My sense of humour kept slipping out during this time here and there to try and make light of the situation but it was almost like a defense mechanism…lol.
I still feel there is something strong between us cause how else would we keep running back into each others arms. But i know this time is different and i accept that. I just don’t want her doing anything with any other guy and then coming back to me cause that will crush me.. cause i wont be able to take her back ever. That’s assuming she’ll even ever consider talking to me.
P.s not to be rude or assume but i know generally people in their 30s+ don’t use or know what snapchat is but i noticed after posting pictures and videos on there for a couple days my ex wouldn’t watch them which was unusual. Then on thursday night / early friday morning she watched it. I don’t know again if im looking into it too close but could this means she misses me? I don’t know.. she’s good at being cold even though i know she’s feeling something. I just wish i could speak to her and almost tell her to snapout of it and just let us be happy together but i know the world is not as simple as that.. lol. Thank you for keeping up with me.
Thank you so much !! I do agree that the relationship did burn out along with us. We almost “crashed” ? If that’s the right word… we do definitely need space apart to gather our thoughts and fix our selves 100% and being together was definitely a challenge considering our whole “routine” and changes going on in our lives. I do really miss her obviously as I’ve said and dont want to lose her for good. I also don’t want her to be unhappy either, it’s hard to imagine her moving on but the thought hurts.
I also do realise how pathetic and immature i was when we broke up. Which i feel the need to apologise for at a later date if communication is restored.
Not sure if it makes an ounce of difference but she’s kept me on her instagram and snapchat and has also kept some photos of our first date/day out together on our own. She also kept the photo of the day out of the eclipse and the place we use to hang out with our best friends and each other before we started dating. ( we double dated with our best friends at the same time).
It’s been 10 days since we broke up and it honestly feels like I’ve been away from her for a life time. I see her sometimes liking quotes on her instagram such as ” my mother at 25: married 2 kids
Me at 25: waking up with chicken after a night out of drinking”Is this a subliminal message lol? Or am i thinking too much into it?
I keep finding strands of her hair around my room and i can almost smell her perfume still on my clothing after the wash. It almost makes me feel deppressed. I’ll admit i haven’t been able to bounce back as quick as the times before as at this moment i have no friends due to university. So this site is pretty much all i have as sad as it sounds lol.
Thanks for the help.
She doesn’t live that far like 10-15 mins in car if that. Around 30-45 mins on a public bus ( due to weird long routes ). Distance is not a problem it’s just the fact we don’t see each other everyday like we use to in college. Now we’re at work or university and i think she’ll be too tired to meet after work. That’s if she even considers it. Lol.
Thank you for this advice is is really helping me. This site is the only thing keeping me motivated and going at the moment.
You have really good points in here especially about the trust being broken. But if she believes I’d ever cheat or even move on within 2 months then she is crazy.
I specifically made it clear that all it was – was that i had a casual conversation with a girl and i just naturally felt guilty cause i missed her so much. She thinks there is more. The reason it got into such a mess was because I went round to convince her nothing happened and that she could trust me. She should know by now that i wouldn’t/ couldn’t cheat on her. I even told her that if i did do something with a girl i wouldnt even bother talking to her cause the guilt would kill me. Then i explained to her what would be the point in my telling her i spoke to a girl and didn’t mention i did something with her.
She knows I’m not that type of guy and I’m not. I’ll be honest i got hit on the other night by a girl at my friends university accommodation. I had the chance to do litteraly anything with her but i wouldn’t. The obvious reason that i love my ex and the other is i don’t go near slutty girls. I don’t mean throw the word slut around but i don’t like sluts… lol. I could have easily had sex with that girl but i wouldn’t. I couldn’t its not right. Not meaning to brag but just trying to make a point that I’m not and will never be that guy. And I’ve always let my ex know that. So when she doesn’t believe me it really hurts. But yet again thank you for the advice. A friend on this site suggested i contact her a couple days before her birthday then wishing her a happy birthday to make it less “out the blue”. What do you think?
P.s I’m also typing on my phone so i also can’t always see what i type so i could be repetitive….. and it also explains why i type so much lol. Thanks!
Thank you for taking your time to read all this MrsWB. I appreciate it, especially after my writing so much in my breaking point.
I understand we need space and I have faced and come to terms with the fact I may never get the chances I’ve had in the past with her to get her back. But am i being stupid for fighting for her? It takes some time before I realise what mistakes I’ve been making during nc and I yet again I am realising the mistakes I have made while with her that has lead to driving her away.
I need to be a better me for my self first. I admit i was stupid and immature and acted on instics which i thought i over came. I need to stop acting on instincts and emotions and come to logical reasoning.
I still have very deep emotions towards her and she did give mixed messages with the whole jelousy thing stated above. It’s her birthday on the 12 of October aswell and I did plan a trip to Amsterdam and it sucks cause this happend… should i even talk to her on her birthday?
From your point of view, from what you understand and have read am i being delusional to think I could win her back? I know that can’t be answered as straight forward as i want lol but what I’m trying to ask is, from your point of view is there any hope? Thanks alot.
