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Hey thanks! Some good news and some bad? I guess. Me and my ex managed to get in positive contact. we’ve had a phone call every night for like 6 days straight. she’s messaged me first for like 4 days then i started messaging her. at the moment i want her to message me as i’ve seen to be putting in more of the first contact now. i asked her if she wanted to meet and she said yes when we had our second phone call. I brought it up yesterday and she said that she doesn’t know if it is a good idea or not as she said she misses me alot but she can’t just be friends with me. she then said then again she doesn’t know what she wants and she feels as if she needs to sort her self out. i told her i understand and that she doesn’t have to come. i told her the offer was there and she said she’ll see if she’s busy or not. she then changed subjects. apart from that i guess things have been positive. we’re speaking as if we were together almost putting aside the intimate stuff. I just don’t know what to do. i feel like i’m running out of things to talk about and say to start conversation but when we’re on the phone everything is ok. i would love for some advice to not let her lose interest and fall for me again. i really miss her.
Thank you improvinglemon. Alot of drama happened last night. I kind of lost my shit but i think it ended positive i just don’t know how to deal with the situation now and what to say. I’m scared of messing up.
Long story as short as possible I got a girl friend of mine to talk to the guy my ex was talking to. Turns out he’s a scum bag who just speaks to girls for sex then moves on. This pissed me off. Anyway, he openly asks my friend for nudes and etc. He sends his number without even asking etc. So i had his number on whatsapp and could see his online activity. I saw it matched my ex’s. Meanwhile she’s sending me “i miss you”s and “i want to talk to you” while speaking with this guy. i felt shit. I noticed they went offline at the same which meant they were going on a phone call which if you read my other post last time we broke up she talked to another guy and flirted etc to keep her mind of me anyway i’ll get to that. I SNAPPED. I added them both to a group and said sorry for interrupting their call. Long story short my ex broke down kept phoning me and phoning me. i ignored. eventually we got on the phone we opened up that we obviously still care about each other and miss each other and told each other all the people we’ve spoken to etc. it turns out she made a tinder cause she was “loneley” and spoke to that guy and arranged to meet. I told her about my date with that girl she hates etc. Anyway we argued for about 2 hours and it ended with her blocking that guy without me even asking. i even told her she didn’t have to but she wanted to. Anyway we went off then called again and we caught up and we even laughed and i ended the call saying i would talk to her tomorrow. so here tomorrow i’ve had tie to think. I’m hurt. i know i was stupid to interfere. she messaged me “how are you today”. I’m scared this will need no where. i want her back. I love her so much. AND i’m even willing to forgive her. i just don’t want the past repeating it’s self. I don’t know how to move forward positive at this point. Should i reply? last time we had a casual conversation when she missed me it lead no where and pushed us away and i’m scared this will happen again. Thanks. i know this post is abit long and complicated so if you have any questions feel free.
i just need advice. Thanks
Hey that is great advice thank you very much! I knew it didn’t seem quite right! Thank you so much! And I’m so sorry for situation dude!
The funny thing is i spent the whole night writing different letters and missing her badly. The next morning she messaged me on facebook saying “I miss you” at 7am. So ignored it and she then messaged me on whatsapp saying the same thing “i miss you” at around 8-9pm. I continued to ignore her as i knew she was talking to this guy and it might have been in the moment type of thing. So the next day (today) she messages me on whatsapp again at 5:44am saying “Urm maybe you don’t want to but if you do can we talk tonight”. I’m scared this is just her missing me when she is lonely when she isn’t talking to this new guy. I’m not being a plan B. Any advice? Should I ignore it? Should I continue sending the letter in a couple days (altered version). Thanks.
Thank you so much improvinglemon i just dont know what to do anymore. I still want her back so badly. I’ve improved my self exponentially. From being a lonley deppressed idiot to some one who has his life together, i have friends, new fashion style, i work out every day at the gym again, i took up kickboxxing to outlet my frustratuons that u would occasionally take out on my ex, im at university, ive been on dates and not to be rude they were really hot girls and i still can’t get her out my mind. Its been almost 5-6weeks. I thought i got over her at some point. It’s killing me cause i want her back. Im thinking logically more than emotionally at rhe moment which i couldn’t do before. I just don’t know how to build a friendship atleast or communication.
I’ve really tried to move on! Honestly i have and its once again hit me again.
Ive been on dates went out at night spoke to girls and still i have nothing towards anygirl but her. Infact everytime i speak to a new girl it reminds me of her to intensely that i have to walk away.
It’s been abit complicated since i last spoke to her cause my stupid so called “friend” messaged her making me look pathetic along the lines of “take him back hes miserable without you you’re his one” so i had to message her her birthdsy explaining to ignore him cause he’s making it up to stir shit i then proceeded to wish her happy birthday and told her she didnt have to reply. She told me she did ignore him and wasnt sure why he wanted to involve her. She then said thank you and told me she was off sick in bed but i have ignored it for like 4 days.
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I was moving on ! But now it hit me again and i want her so badly. I have no idea if this is fixable though. It’s been a whole month and a couple days. I do want her back and its showing so badly now
Hey guys i know i havnt been on for a while. It’s a weird time for me at the moment. We haven’t spoke since that day I phoned. So I’ve stuck to nc. I feel like she’s moved on and now everyday I get closer to fully letting her go.
I have a date on friday with another girl. Although I still love my ex she obviously doesn’t feel the same way and you are right we can’t force people to love us. Maybe i wasn’t good enough. Who knows. All i know is she is going out for her birthday with people (possibly guys) and I’m free to explore the world without her. A part of me does feel guilty but i can’t just sit around anymore.
I don’t know if this makes me a bad person but you guys do know I have tried. Multiple times… and still end up heart broken. So at the moment I’m trying my best to let her go and move on. Don’t let my actions discourage you though! I think you guys still have a chance.
It is harder for me to let go than to keep fighting. So don’t take this as I’m quiting. She quite clearly doesn’t want me so I can’t wait around.
Who knows though. She may contact me or may not. I’m not sure what i would do as i don’t want to go through this again although she was amazing and i still have the same feelings as i did when we first fell in love.
I may not be in here ever/or in a while. All i know is i need a break from all this and try and have some fun to balance all the sadness I’ve been having this year and from the drainage of the old relationship.
I wish you all luck. I hope you all succeed in what you want to achieve in life.. whether it being getting your ex back a new job anything. I want to thank every single one of you that has gave even the slightest advice. It meant alot to me and although sometimes it seemed i didnt use or take it in. I did and it meant the world to me to think complete strangers helped me. Thank you.
I don’t know if I’ll be back with positive or negative news or whether I’ll move on. But as for now good bye my friends.
I fucked up. No you are right i didnt listen i kept pushing for more too soon. I was stupid. But the reason behind the phone calls was cause she phoned me and i missed her calling me. And my text messages were not going through. So that is why i called otherwise she would think i completely ignored her.
She’s giving me mixed signals.she already told me she misses me twice and but slowly is backing off away from me again. Not sure how i am suppose to show or tell her or even do anything to increase my chances when she deleted me on all social media pretty much.
I guess I will to no contact again. See what happens. I feel incredibly guilty cause i do love this girl so much and letting her go will take an incredibly long time. But if i have no choice here then what more am i suppose to do. I’m not giving up until my nc is over. Thanks for all the help. I’ve sorted the technical difficulties so i wont be phoning her again when she doesn’t want to. I do listen. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry i couldn’t take control of my actions i honestly wish i was as strong as you mrswb . I feel pathetic yet again.
Stay stronf during nc she will contact you again pingpong and thank you. But sadly it hasn’t. Feel like things have gotten worse. And i feel shit.
So today she deleted me from snapchat and i was confused cause you know… 2 days ago she said she missed me. So i texted her saying
“I’m confused can we talk”
She replies “whats up”
So i said “do you mind if i ring it’s easier to explain ”
She said “I’d rather you whatsapped”
So i said “it’s just a quick call”
So i rang and she answered and i went on to explain about how my messages were not sending to her and that i had missed calls from her and every time i returned the calls she wouldn’t answer and i also brought up why she deleted me on snapchat… i asked her if she was annoyed at me about soemthing if i didnt see her messages or whatever. So she explains she called once the other day and rhat was it and she was only getting a few of my messages and calls. So we sort that out and we end up talking although i felt i was making more of an effort and near to the end i also asked what she was doing for her birthday and she said nothing yet so i brought her dress up that she posted on snapchat yesterday and was like ” i thought that was your birthday dress ” and she told me she has plans but they’re not set in stone yet.
So anyway we talk abut and then she said she needed to go as her dad was calling her so i was like “ok thats fine but before i go ive felt like you don’t want to talk latley or is it that I’m not recieving your messages .. do you still want to talk or”
she replied “no its not that it’s just i do want to talk to know how you are getting on with uni and everything but at the same time i dont want to give you the wrong impression so i backed off for a couple days”
so i replied “no i understand i dont want to give the wrong impression either” then we ended the call.
At this time I’m feeling shit like there isn’t any hope. It feels like she doesn’t want me at all.
So eventually i think of something to say that hopefully will reverse what she said. (Ill get into it below just keep reading lol hang in there)
So i call her 3 times and each time no answer. So again I’m thinking it’s whatsapp so she replies
“whats up? All missed calls? Whats up”So i replied “you not want to phone”
She replied ” I didn’t get chance to answer I was downstairs what’s up”
So i phoned again and she finally answers so I pretty much say to her –
“I’ve been thinking about what you aaid before we hung up about the wrong impression and you can’t really think like that cause you made it clear what you wanted before we broke up and I respect and accept that decision I just wanted to know if i gave you the wrong impression cause if i have then I’m sorry cause i didn’t mean to.”
She replied something like “good and you haven’t given the wrong impression”
So i was like “then why did you say that? You must have thought i was trying something and if you did i didnt mean for the wrong impression ”
So she replied “what do you mean? no you didn’t give me the wrong impression”
So i was like “ok thats cool i hope i didn’t ”
I heard a laughing noise from her tv so i asked “what you doing”
She replies “nothing”
So i reply “well I’ll let you go then I’m just getting ready to go out”
And we’ve left it at that today. What do you guys think? Should I go nc? And see if she replies. Or is she showing signs she’s fully done. I just don’t know what to do. I feel like we were making progress now i feel like we took 2 steps back and I’m back on square one.
I unfollowed her on instagram cause she deleted me on snapchat. But I’ve got her added on whatsapp.
I just don’t know anymore. I miss her so much. The good times. Not the times where she’s a cold hearted bitch. I know our relationship wasn’t amazing a 100% of the time. I know we made mistakes. I do generally think we can have a fresh new start but it seems like she’s moving on and using me as an emotional crutch. :(. I don’t know..
This is what she replied…..
“I think drunk. No I didn’t get spam calls I will do thanks”
It seems so short compared to my message lol but as usual my brain wont stop over analysing things.
So i sent her one last message so everything was in the open about the technical difficulties. I said
“Is he ok or is he just drunk? It seems like an inconvenient time for you so I’ll let you save him and just to clarify didn’t mean to spam call didn’t think whatsapp was working. Let me know how it goes”
The end. Good night guys hope i havnt messed up or annoyed her.
I could see she was still online so i dropped a last message saying
“How’s your brother doing didn’t mean to stress you out”
Not sure if this was the right thing to do but i was just trying to be polite in case i stressed her out. (She gets panicked/annoyed/stressed out easily when her brother goes out and she has to be the baby sitter so i guess phoning her while she was textinf him wasn’t a good idea but u wasn’t to know)
She replied
“i’m in his room waiting for him to come back his not back yet not sure what’s goin on”
Lol. It’s like you guys have a legitimate story to read everyday so what has ironblood got up to today!?
I have this thought in my head that im messing it up but i dont think i am. Just over reacting to nothing. I need to get a grip before i actually do fuck up.
I made a spelling mistake and to make it clear basically i ended the conversation by saying ill let you watch your show and she replied “you can still talk I’m not busy”
As in no i still want to talk lol. *
I know i shouldn’t be rushing or demanding but i dont mean to be… so today has been weird. I always feel as if she doesn’twant to talk but i guess i need to get yse to casual talk.
We had a little conversation today and i also asked again if she wanted to call as i missed her call yesterday. (That is thr only reason i asked)
She said she was watchinf something with her mom and that she would maybe call me tomorrow. So i insisted jn saying that was fine and that I’d let her carry on watching the show.She messaged back saying “you can still talk im not bus”
So i replied an hour later sayinf “oh it seemed like you were ”
She replied “noo”
So i left it for 2 hours cause how can i reply to “noo” lol.
So i sent another message but i think it didnt deliver on whatsapp so i went into panic mode like what if she tried to call or message me and im not recieving hers and shes not recieveing mine. So at 12am i messaged her saying “didn’t realise messages didn’t send are you still awake?”
She replied “yeah”
I asked if my messages sent and she didn’t reply so i assumed it was happening again. So i called her and she hung up. I thought it was my wifi or something so i did it again. Same thing. Then she replied saying “sorry give me a sec”
So i obviously was like wtf is going on in my head so i replied “ok”
She then messaged back saying
“Can I ring tomorrow please brothers coming drunk I’m trying to help him out”I replied ” Yeah that’s fine my whatsapp is playing up btw good luck”
And she simply replied ” Ok thanks”In conclusion i think that i kind if annoyed her. Im nit tryjng to bug her for a phone call but it looks like i am. I just wanted to phone her back from yesterday and today i was just checking if my whatsapp was working. Am i messing this up? I feel like i am. Sorry to keep coming here. Im not trying to rush things its just technical difficulties are fucking me up. I want the best chance possible.
Sometimes I also run out of things to say. Not sure where i am with her to be honest. Feel like giving up. But i can’t. I want her back and I’m willing to go as slow as a snail lol. Just want some clarification that I’m nit completely fucking things up. Thanks
