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You have to look at this through his POV, although I agree with you when you say SOME jealousy is healthy in a relationship which it is because it makes you feel wanted, having to block people on social media is alittle too far.
Here’s my opinion in his POV because I just went through this with my ex (not for jealousy)
My girlfriend asked me for a break about 6 weeks ago and it was one of the most painful things I’ve ever heard her say. We were together for 3 years and she first asked for a break which then lead to a breakup. Your ex probably went through a couples stages which are 1st-denial/heartbreak, he probably was heart broke like me but kept telling himself oh, it’s okay it’s just a break and we will end up back together. 2nd anger/accepting, this is probably where he developed feelings for the other girl, he probably became so angry that you left him, that this girl came into the picture and made him feel better about it and now he’s having conflicted feelings about what he wants. It may be a rebound but right now the only thing making him feel better is this other girl.
The one mistake females tend to make when they breakup with a boyfriend is that they think the boy will always be there’s no matter what, don’t you think that’s a little selfish? To leave someone and assume you can go back to him whenever you want? There are men all over this site who’s women left them and probably think the same thing. Your boyfriend went through heartbreak and now he’s doubting you and right now he has every right to. Communication is 100% a key in relationships, you can’t fix problems by going on “breaks” or breaking up. Your man may fix the problem during this period but he also may find out he doesn’t want to continue the relationship. your in the spot most men want their exes to be in,they want their exes coming back to them saying they made a mistake. You should have just sat down with him and communicated together about the arguments and jealousy problems not trying to solve it by taking a break. You can’t “win” someone back, because ur not fixing the problems of the old relationship. The only way to do that is by apologizing apologizing to him, accepting the breakup and how he feels and give him space. He has to want to come back on his own, not by force or pressure. Everyone makes mistakes remember that, now you have to do the right thing and give him space.Listen, I’m sorry for what ur going through. I know how rough it is.
You have to just give him space, stop texting, no snapchat or any social media. If he wishes you a happy Christmas be polite and say it back but that’s it. Ur going to hear this alot and I’m not saying it in regards to no contact but right now for you, less is more. He left out of frustration, so right now your best choice is to give him space and let the negative thoughts go away. Your so young, still haven’t been through all life’s experiences and Im not setting an age limit on love or anything like that but seriously, you are young. Stop stressing yourself out and go have some fun, you say you don’t have many friends but you can always stay busy and there’s a million things to do. The more you push him, the more he’s going to really pull the trigger and stop talking to you. Trust me, before the girl I’m with now I dated a girl for about a year and a half, I broke up with her for the same reason, she got clingy and accepted me to put other priorities over her and we would argue till one day I snapped and walked away. She chased me for MONTHS and it got to the point where I literally hated seeing her. Well after a month of chasing she left me a letter at my house and apologized and told me she’s happy with my choice and that I was right. And I never heard from her for a month straight. I actually got confused and started feeling regretful about it. We met up and she looked amazing, in shape, dressed to kill but most importantly? her attitude changed and she never brought up the past. I was instantly attracted to her like the day we first met. Unfortunately it could of been a success story but I was moving to another state to pursue a job and I don’t do LDR.
The point I’m trying to make, is your basing your happiness off of a male. I get it, breakups are almost like an addiction. Ur miserable and stressed and angry and every other emotion, it’s not healthy. You need no man to make you happy, having a partner in crime is just a bonus. Say sorry, you understand why he left and then go NC and that’s it. he will eventually reach out to you.The problem I see is, we don’t have too much information. Did you talk to him about fixing everything? And did he tell you to move on? If not then that’s probably why he is upset at the moment.
He probably just thought you guys were taking a break, and it might have upset him. I don’t know what vibe to sense here. If it was me and we broke up and you had a date only 2 weeks after, I’d be pretty upset too. But seeing as you didn’t actually go on the date I wouldn’t be too upset.
It’s all about communication, my girl left me about 5 weeks ago, it was sorta mutual, I knew things were falling doing and she did too, partially it was my fault but I asked to talk it out and she said no. But a couple days later I texted her asked “look, I need to know am I giving you space and not moving on? Or are we both deciding to move on” she texted me “I don’t know, but I won’t be moving on soon and if you want to you can”
This told me she is telling me to move on but she doesn’t want me to. I trusted she wouldnt, but if she ever did have a date I wouldn’t snap on her or be mad , that’s because we tasked about it. Two weeks to me is alittle to early to be going on dates but alot of people think different on the subject. If I were you, I’d try and communicate don’t seem needy but just be honest and ask him “am I giving you space to think? Or are you moving on?”I sorta of disagree, the relationship I had before this ex I’m currently working things out with, I broke up with my girlfriend and we dated for a year. She became way to needy of me and wanted me around everyday and I couldn’t take it and walked out. She accepted the breakup and told me she’d text me in a few weeks, she was telling me she’d do no contact. She went no contact for almost a month and you know what? That whole month I wanted to text her but I couldn’t because I just felt like it’d be awkward for me. Everybody assumes that the dumper has to make contact first. That’s not true at all, I don’t think so in your situation, guys have pride and most of the time a huge ego, so when your assuming they are going to contact you first most of the time it doesn’t happen because our ego tells us not to contact you because we’re men. I’d say do give him space, but you can easily give someone space while contacting. For instance if your texting and the conversation seems good and cheerful, keep texting but not a whole bunch, once the conversation hits it’s peak, make up an excuse to end it, say ur busy or have to go. If you text one day and they gave you a small response then just don’t text that day and leave it alone for a few days. My girl left me 5 weeks ago, I did NC for 4 weeks and decided to text her on the fourth week and we hit it off well and once our convo peaked I told her I had to go(left her wanting more) and she texted me that same night saying “I’m so happy you texted me,hope to hear from you soon, goodnight” and I gave it a few days and texted her again and I could tell she was excited to hear from me and she called me that night and the next day we met up. I’m not saying ur situation is the same as mines, everybody is different, but I disagree that the dumper HAS to make contact with you. All that is, is your ego and pride saying “I’m not texting them first, they should text me, they left me” if somebody left you, obviously there was a reason they did it and only you know and can fix the reason and begin to show them.
So yes I’d say hive him space, maybe a week but if you feel like your emotions are in check and ur not scared of rejection then I say you can text first.Your over thinking things too much hun. You gotta understand( im just assuming you did no contact) you can’t jump right back into ur old relationship, that’s now it works. You have to forget about the old relationship, even if there’s great memories, you have to tell yourself it was broke or else it wouldn’t of ended. Now is time to create a new, stronger relationship. It’s going to take time! Remember once you sound needy it’s going to become unattractive, you guys have to both show eachother you truly took time to work on yourselves. I’d much rather date a female that knows she can be happy without me and be independent then date a woman who thinks her only happiness is with me you know? Trust me i took this for granted with my ex because we spent way too much time together and none apart. We never had a chance to actually miss eachother. Take things slow and always be positive when you text! Don’t make it awkward! That’s how you mess up. Keep the conversations cheerful and happy, that’s how you build an emotional bond with someone. You can’t just think “yay we’re texting! Soon we’ll be back to the old us” if you go back to the old relationship it will surely end again. Reconciliation takes time, sometimes even months but you have to tell yourself at least we’re texting and working on it.
Trust me! Just stay positive and do not over think things, if he’s taking a whole to text back who cares, don’t just stare at your phone all day! Go out and do stuff. As for him working out? Working out is a great stress relief for anybody. Don’t assume he’s doing it to impress others, he’s doing it to impress himself and who knows maybe even impress you!No contact isn’t a mind game man. It’s for you to grow and become independent. When people are in relationships, one of them usually makes one unhealthy mistake, which is becoming to dependent on their partner which makes them look needy. You shouldn’t need someone to be happy with yourself, that’s why you use no contact so you can become happy by yourself. Nobody really ever knows if their ex will come back and even if they do, if you haven’t used no contact properly and learned from your mistakes and decide to just jump right back into it, it will just ultimately fail again. Don’t worry is she gets mad, you don’t have to explain anything to her to be honest, remember she left you. Which means there are no strings attached. Sure if you guys happen to run into eachother (not on purpose) and she makes contact, be polite that’s all and keep it short and walk away. You want her thinking about where you been, what your doing. If she knows how your doing, what your doing after your break up, it’ll just make it that much easier for her to fully walk away from you. So stick to NC, trust me bro.. I know it’s hard and gut wrenching, I went through it and it helped me and me and my ex are currently in the talking stage and already had one successful meet up and planned another one this week. You know what the difference is now? Now that I had to think and I’m not thinking emotionally because of the breakup, I’ve had time to reflect and really understand what went wrong and how to fix it.
I defiantly agree with @kaila! You need to just take things slow, NEVER rush! Trust me it’s a bad thing to do. As much as you want your relationship to go back to how it used to be, you have to let that go. Remember you guys did break up? So something had to be wrong in the past relationship. This is your chance to build a much better/stronger relationship with ur boyfriend. If he’s willing to work it out and go slow that speaks volumes! Must of us on here are wishing we get that chance with our exes and hopefully we all at some point do! don’t take this chance to work on things for granted because you’ll regret it. You have to help eachother fix your issues together not just dive straight into a relationship again.
Me and my ex broke up about 3 weeks ago and it truly hurt me, she was my best friend but I pushed her into a corner and she had no choice but to leave me, I was lazy, unmotivated and had no desire to go after a career, and because of that she didn’t feel secure and left me. I spent these last week’s changing myself, finding a new job, getting back into school and reflecting on what I did wrong in the relationship. So after this NC I will try to contact her and maybe hang out if things go well but I know if we end up wanting to try and fix things, it won’t be easy but then again I wouldn’t want it to be easy, I want to build the relationship me and her both deserve together.But anyways! Take things slow and slowly but surely you’ll see the difference and be happy! I’m glad ur getting a chance with ur ex again and I wish you guys the best of luck! Keep us updated!
Hi, sorry to hear about this!
Well I’m getting mixed feelings on my options of advice for this. My gut is telling me (no offense at all!) That he’s trying to keep you close, in case his new relationship doesn’t work sorta like a fall back plan. I think ur allowing this to happen because the break up is fresh and your emotions are all over the place. If I were you? I’d tell him simply that you and him aren’t wanting the same thing at the moment and if he needs his space to think things through then you’ll give it to him. As hard as this next part is, trust me I’m currently no contact with my ex girlfriend and it’s been 3 weeks, but ur going to have to actually give him space and urself space. Do you really want to be in touch with someone you have strong feelings for while he’s in a relationship? even if it maybe a rebound it’s still not healthy for you! In order to come back into a relationship and it actually work, you have to spend time away to grow! Then when both of use are ready and have spent time away from eachother and really want to fix ur relationship you can give it a real try
Well first off the part where you said she was near you and didn’t speak or look at you is understandable… my ex left me after 3 years and I’m currently doing no contact and if I was near her I probably wouldn’t say anything either due to it being awkward you know? As to her texting you back, I don’t think it was a cold message. Look number one rule after doing the NC (idk if you actually did it for 30 days or not?) But the number one rule is to get her to laugh, nd not make things awkward by talking about the past. So I’d take that as a good sign so far.. I’d continue to text, nothing to hard. Just some simple text messages and NOTHING about the past or getting back together. Sharing memories isn’t bad, but only if she has a positive response to it. If all this happens and she continues to text you, ask her to hang out.
Go NC.. if he is seeing someone, you need to make him miss you..
Believe me he will, I’m in a similar situation, my girlfriend of 3 years left me because she doesn’t think I’m in a good mindset for her because I became lazy after I lost my job. And trust me, it’s the worse I’ve ever felt on my life. I’m currently in week two of no contact, nd I’m fixing myself, found a job, cut my hair, trying to stay positive. So after the 30 days she sees I’m taking this serious.. you can’t let him hold power over you because ur texting him and he’s just using you as a fall back plan if he has someone else. Rule #1 the person who broke up should be the one eventually calling you for a second chance not the other way around.
