Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Yeah I understand where you’re coming from. Just a side note though, therapists can’t prescribe medication. I know how you feel, I really do and it hurts so much. I am on my third week of NC and I still think of my ex every day.
Try writing in a journal. It helped me through my worst days for sure. Not even talking to my friends helped as much as writing in my journal.
If you need people to talk to we’re all here. Stay strong friend, I’m rooting for you.
@Horckytr I’m sorry you’re feeling so down man. I’m having a lot of ups and downs lately too. There are things you CAN do and those things are the things you do for yourself. Have you seen a therapist?
@FishingTheSky I think started NC around the same time and although our situation is different I feel you’re already making a lot of progress. Me too! I also keep changing my mind if I even want to contact her. But, I feel I should contact her just to tie up loose ends and know for sure there isn’t another chance with her you know?
That’s good to know your family is okay @FishingTheSky . How are you holding up with your ex and stuff?
Yeah, whatever the reason behind it was. The fact was that she didn’t and anything beyond that is just an assumption. It still hurts, not gonna lie.
@Mister_Handy I think about the letter, I think we should send it only when we are comfortable of being without our exes. I don’t think it should be sent to say goodbye though. I feel you should always keep that possibility open (getting your ex back) but also keep the possibility that you will find love that may not be your ex. I dunno! I’m still torn about the letter. I guess I’m just not ready to write it yet.
Hey @FishingTheSky how are you feeling. It’s been about 4 days, I figured I would check in on you. I hope your family is safe? I read in another thread that they were in an earthquake?
Today (well yesterday) was my birthday and she never texted or anything so I’m assuming she forgot, maybe doesn’t care enough to say it, or probably does remember but choose not to say anything. We all make our own stories about what we don’t know don’t we?
Stay strong friend. I’m rooting for you.
Catherine8, forgive me. I haven’t read your story but what you’re describing sounds like a classic rebound. If it was me, I would find someone completely different to my ex as well because if there were any similarities it would remind me of her too much and I wouldn’t enjoy that thrill anymore. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if my ex (broke up about 2 weeks ago) is talking to someone right now and I would definitely assume that he will be everything I’m not.
I’ve had those. It hurts and it ruins your entire day. A few times I woke up and felt numb. It sucked. But please remind yourself that it is not real. It is a dream.
Have you signed up for Kevin’s e-course thing? The more I do them, the more I’m convinced it’s helping me become a better person. I believe the worksheets help me see the entire relationship with a little bit of clarity. It’s not an instructional worksheet but more of a map to help you point yourself in the right direction.
If you dream or think of such things, write them down in a journal. It’s been a huge help to me.
If you need to, vent it out here. It’s better than contacting your ex about it. Stick with NC. You need time to heal, as do I.
catherine8, I couldn’t read the whole thread, and I haven’t been participating in this thread so I may not know the whole story. But, I think the most sensible thing to do is to tell him who it is and leave it at that? and if he wishes to start a conversation then continue.
Hey FishingTheSky, I hope you’re holding up well. I’m on day 7 of NC and it’s been the longest week of my life. I feel your pain. I feel all the heartaches you’re going through. You’re not alone. Although mine was only 8 months compared to yours. I remember my last relationship of 3 years (psychologically abusive, that ex never trusted me) and that was really hard for me to get over too. In fact, I can relate to your situation in that my last ex probably did some sort of damage to my insecurities and affected how I deal with issues with this ex which led to this breakup.
Life is all interconnected, whether we like it or not, we bring our past into the present and it affects our future. The only thing we can really control is the present. Then that becomes the past… then it affects our future. So, it’s great to see that you’re taking control of yourself by seeing a therapist. Because, by working on yourself now you will directly affect your future. I’m going to see one soon for my own issues. Please let me know if your therapist has helped you. I’ve never seen one before so I’m not sure what to expect.
I’m tired of hurting as you are. The best chance we have in stopping this from happening again is to work on ourselves. You can’t love others until you first love yourself. Please don’t beat yourself up. Be a friend to you.
Horckytr,
I empathize with your situation. It reminded me of a past breakup I had with another ex. It was extremely painful and I couldn’t understand why it was happening and everything was on a cynical, unexplainable loop! I hated it so much. Please take solace that, although you cannot change who you were or what you could have done, you have the power to take control of who you are now. There is a saying that I read in a book and it said,
Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead.
Walk beside me, just as a friend.Please be your own friend, don’t beat yourself up.
