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Went over and it went better than I could imagine. We are fully back together in a committed relationship 🙂 couldn’t be happier.. Thanks again!
Ok and how do you read that he is still communicating and is on the fence or resisting but still wants to see me?
Ok and how do you read that he is still communicating and is on the fence or resisting but still wants to see me?
You are truly amazing a.z for taking the time to help me btw..I really think you are great with this stuff and I appreciate the encouragement!
Ok will do. I have one question for you..what is the theory behind telling him there are thousands of opportunities for us..I mean do I need to highlight that?
For some reason I had a week moment and broke. I texted him Sunday and said “how can you do this to us? Our relationship meant a lot to me and I hate that this has happened to us” he responded ” I understand but I can’t change how I feel or think about things” and I replied ” you said you would try and I wasn’t seeing it. I love you” (I know pretty bad right?) then I asked if we can get together and talk tonight and he agreed. I know I’ve made some mistakes here..it was at a point of weakness which I’m usually pretty strong. I feel like I get mixed messages from him. How do I handle tonight? I know he’s gonna say I don’t see us working and if I ask him to try he might agree but not give it his all. He will give me resistance either way. I don’t want to sound needy although yesterday was probably not a good day. I want to appear strong but soft and want him to agree to try in a committed relationship. I really need advice which I know I must start to listen to.. Nothing else is working!
I think at this point, I’m done communicating with him. He knows I love him but I know my worth. Any further communication I initiate WL not make me feel good and will make him doubt that I wAs serious about how I felt. If he really wants to make things right, he will contact me. I just hope I didn’t completely push him away?? I want him to come back whole heartedly or not at all and it has to come from within him. I just don’t know of he will at this point and how to handle it if he does…
So a week later after he said he would try and although we shared a few good days together, he started not initiating contact (since Wednesday) and I was feeling really unsettled by it all. I contacted him today and asked him why he was being so distant: he brushed it off and basically said he doesn’t need me questioning him. I told him that i felt hurt by his actions and that I was doing the initiating after not hearing from him all day. I told him I wasn’t looking for scraps from him and he said we were trying and not to have any expectations. I told him I was not happy and that I was done and not to contact me anymore. I told him I’m looking for a best friend, a partner and a lover and not a casual relationship. I felt hurt every day from being in such an unstable situation that I felt I had no other choice. I don’t know if I will hear from him again. I love him but either want him completely or not at all. I won’t compromise myself. Did I do the right thing?
Great advice yet again. Thank you so much!! I went over tonight and played the cool girl, didn’t initiate any conversations and showed my calm cool feminine side. The effect was him being more drawn to me. Although in his mind things remain unresolved, I feel this is a baby step in the right direction. Thanks again.. I will take your advice and see how it goes..
Do I cancel tonight and tell him that I’m sorry he is confused and we need time and space apart to figure it out? Or do I go see him and just keep it light and are how it goes? If you think I should apply the no contact rule, how long should I stick to that? I know if probably hear from him in a few weeks..is that time enough?
So looks like he is not totally ok with it..not at all.. Today he tells me he doesn’t think we can work. It’s like he doesn’t want to say it’s completely done but at the same time says he doesn’t think it will work at all. We talked in the phone and I asked him if he wants me to come by and see him. He said yes but doesn’t want to talk about us. I told him I was coming by to spend tine with him and not for any other reason. He said to come by.. I seriously don’t know what to do.
Thanks again..that is really good advice. He ignored my last text and said good night. I will wait and see how he is the next few days and if he mentions again how we think differently and how he’s not convinced I understand how he thinks. I know he loves me but he acts as though we will never work without making the effort to try. I told him we are 2 different people and we need to respect our differences and focus on the love between us. It’s like he doesn’t want us but he can’t function without us. I think the break up made him think but maybe the NC wasn’t long enough. Can we resolve this without breaking up again?
Thank you az..since my post I am even more confused!
I refrained from contacting him further and then Saturday morning I get a text….”withdrawl”…”I was thinking and on a day like today, we would be spending it together”.. Then we started texting all day. I went over last night and we talked.. He wanted me to stay and hang out..I told him I had to go but if he wanted me to come back, I couldn’t do it as friends..he told me not to push him and I told him I’m not trying to or want to convince anyone of anything, but I couldn’t just hang out. He agreed to try again.. We had a great night. Today I asked him if he was happy that we are trying again and he said he is on the fence.. He doesn’t think I understand how he thinks. My last reply to him was in order for this to work you have to wAnt it. And we don’t have to do this if he doesn’t want to. He hadn’t read my text yet. I just don’t know what to do anymore…
