[gazs]

thanks for the help.

we started talking again about a week ago. and then mid week i asked her if she wanted to go to a concert and jus have a general meet up.

we are in a long distance relationship. so i booked her tickets to come see me. at one point over a meal she randomly started crying and said why couldnt she have had a future with me. I played it cool and didnt pursue any deep conversation regarding our relationship as I wanted her to see the positive changes in my life. All i told her is that we can still have a future.

after this we went to the concert and then returend to the hotel. we made out and had sex which afterwards she said wasnt sensible.

she set back off home the following morning and messaged me saying she feels crap and after meeting me its made her confused and feel rubbish.

i am getting mixed messages and its started to confuse me. as I thought that her staying over with me would make her want me back. we since havent discussed out relationship but have spoken everyday. we plan to maybe meet up again towards teh end of the month.

I was wondering have I played this right? or is there anything i shoulod or shouldnt do at this stage. As it is so close with us two being back together again but I dont want to spoil my chances by making an amature mistake. Please feel free to submit your thought. Thanks again guys I appreciate all the help. x

[gazs]

Hey guys. so today it’s been 2 weeks since the weekend where she was texting like normal. still finding it hard to get over her. I was thinking of initiating convo as have not got anything from her. do you think this is a good idea?

[gazs]

thanks again Teresaa will take a look at your other thread when have got time.

[gazs]

that was hard to read wondering. I really feel for you bro. sounds like we fell for a similar type of girl as Teresaa mentioned

I want to say thanks Teresaa your reply was interesting to say the least. It makes complete sense and I best take your advice. you are correct about her being in power and control as that is how she acted in the relationship too. so that is spot on and I should try follow your helpful advice and see how it goes. thanks again.

[gazs]

trust me you are not terrible.
I’ve been on a few dates and it’s same with me. can’t get her out my head. but your experience has helped and today I been dying to call my ex but haven’t done because of what you said. thanks

[gazs]

I am sorry to hear that man.
your posts have been a massive help for me.

I will go underground to her now and jus vanish.
2 days and I never got back to her.

She did mention that she would love to meet up. but I won’t hold my breath and jus see if she does make any contact of importance.

Will see what the future holds, it seems like I will have to close this chapter of my life with her as you have mentioned.

[gazs]

just an update.
was doing very well with NC.
then this weekend she started talking via text and then rang and I spoke to her. was general chit chat. then I realised I made a mistake of talking to her. this morning she text saying good morning like normal and I replied saying nice to hear from her.
then after a few text I brought up that I been thinking about the relationship and if it will ever be back. and she said…

Let’s see what the future holds don’t take this the wrong way but can we not relate everything back to that sometimes it’s nice to talk about other things 🙂

then I said;
Yeh it’s true but I feel like I would rather either be with you properly cos tbh it hurts. last few days since we been talking I noticed my mood hasn’t been right as I keep thinking hmm am I jus jus a friend or do we have a future. like I don’t know where I stand.

and her reply was this….

Yeah I get you.. I guess it’s friendly terms at the moment sorry. I need to feel more right with this than ever but yeah your right we both need to be at ease so we can get on with life. Maybe less contact again that seemed to work to an extent.

so far that is it. I haven’t replied and decided not to cos it hurts when she seems to be wanting to keep me around as a friend which is unfair.

please can you guide me here from experience. I don’t know what I should do? I need to put a plan back in place now. I was planning on not talking for a further 2 weeks and then jus ask her straight up. but I really don’t know. please help put I been feeling real low about this again since this weekend. thanks so much!

[gazs]

thanks a lot you been a huge help. yep I will jus play it low now and stay busy see what happens. I will leave a message if anything changes as your help has been really useful for me especially in my self motivation of NC. thanks a lot.

[gazs]

hi wondering. I am 24 and she is 22.

Basically last night she rang again and I picked up as I thought she wanted to talk about us 2. she said she was jus wanting to say hello. but we spoke for about an hour and I stayed positive and didn’t act needy. she kept saying she missed me but doesn’t know if she should take me back or not.

she then followed with a text…

I really do miss you don’t ever forget that. I’m just so scared. Your changing in a positive way and I feel like I’m stuck in the same way when I last saw you. I’m not asking you for answers just wanna share it with you. I don’t know what’s right to do. Loved the chat thanks for picking up means a lot. Goodnight x x

after we spoke on the phone I said I can give space but she said all she wants is for me to reply when she texts which I said we will see as I need this space too to work on myself and she needs to come back to me with a answer as to whether she wants me back. she was really unsure on the phone but genuinely sounded like she was considering taking me back.

I haven’t contacted her since and probably won’t reply if she does text during this week.

[gazs]

really apprecoated that. as your speaking from your own experience I reckon I should follow what you say. so today it’s been 8 days since she dumped me and 6 days of no contact. in my head I was planning on calling her in the morning to see how she was and if she is reconsidering. my only fear was that in another week do you reckon she will be like why the hell should she bother if I ignored her for 2 weeks. I really am unsure

[gazs]

Hey I just got a call from her which I didn’t answer. and then a message saying: Just rang to say hi it would be nice to hear from you.. Hope all is well x

I’m not sure if I should maybe call her tomorrow afternoon and see if she changed her mind. or jus leave it for another week?

[gazs]

thanks a million for the message. it feels good to have some support. and makes complete sense what you say about her jus having me around for the time being. I will try and stay strong and jus shut her out for 30 days and see what happeno. thanks a lot

[gazs]

she messaged me last night asking if I was okay and how things are. I ignored her and haven’t messaged back.
it’s been about 5 days now since we spoken. she seems to be wanting to hear from me.

can anyone offer any guidance?

I am quite sure she won’t hang around for 30 days and if I don’t message she will feel like I’ve ignored her so she will do the same.

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