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That’s really great crystalbear. It’s inspiring to hear your journey. I think I need to start my NC again… I didn’t break it, he did. And now things are all messed up again.
I know exactly what you mean about yearning for taut support and comfort from your ex. That’s where I’m at now. I’ve had a lot of crap happening lately and I’m struggling to stay optimistic… Then I have him wanting to see me but I don’t know why and I’m so mixed up.
I know that you really need to be soooooo strong and certain before you see them. I wish that I’d lasted the 30 days.. Even longer maybe. I feel like I’m back at the start again 🙁
Go through a friend or arrange to leave the stuff somewhere to be picked up… That’s what I’ve been doing since I’ve been on NC. He was coming to see me before and it was awful. Cod id just get sad and upset 🙁
So it’s been better since I haven’t had to see him. Been easier for me to heal. And now the interactions we have are pleasant and not emotionally fuelled
Oh i’m in your same boat! Although i think i handled the break up more poorly… I begged and pleaded, got angry, got sad, got horny, go sad, got angry etc….we were living together too and so he moved out…he still has a few things that he’s slowly getting out…He kept wanting to see me when he was getting his things and i kept getting upset when i would see him. so i had to tell him that i needed time and space and that i couldn’t see him. So I believe i’m at 15 days NC and he’s still messaging here and there. I had to speak to him on the phone the other day and he told me that he was happy to hear from me etc.
I think from what you’ve said that you’ve handled it well…I would revisit that letter maybe too though and think about ‘was it all really your fault’? I know that i took on so much guilt after the break up and apologised profusely..but since i’ve realised we both made mistakes along the way, and thats what lead us to our undoing.
I am pretty clueless about him contacting..because i’m in the same boat. My girlfriends refer to it as mind f**kery…Because it really screws with your head. I think just respond politely out of necessity…As in, if its irrelevant you don’t really need to respond. He may have been wanting to text you, and figured that was a good reason to?
Stick with it…I feel like we’re at about the same stage of NC 🙂
He blocked you cos you were harassing him. You need to back off. Completely. You are also in the early stages of NC. It gets better, believe me, and everyone else here.
It sounds like you need to really do some soul searching about you and your relationship. Cheating is a big deal. You need to be happy with just yourself before you can let anyone else in, other wise it’s just going to get messed up again.
Take up a hobby and start looking after yourself better. Remember you’ve gotta be someone that you’d find attractive. Be proud of yourself and happy with yourself before you even think about contacting him
