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I was so proud of myself for finally sticking up for myself.. I want to cry my eyes out because no one sees my point. My friend is making me feel obligated to do this because she said the cycle will never end. She wants me to let go of him so I can finally be happy. To her, she thinks he deserves an explanation. She isn’t even on the topic of getting him back. She is straight forward about me just being happy again and she said exactly this “the chaos has got to come to an end”.
But you guys are telling me not to talk to him.. it is so overwhelming. I think I’m going to have a panic attack because I don’t know what to do.
so you guys read our conversation from last night, you think that I should leave him like that? Because I bet now he thinks I’m playing games and he probably hates me for it. That’s why I wanted to say something. To end these games. I wanted to clear things up and put a stop to all of it in the hopes that it will get through his head in the future.
So what’s the outcome going to be leaving things the way they were last night? Because he seemed annoyed by his “really?” text after he texted me 5 times and called me twice. But I guess it is a mystery to him?
You guys tell me what to do. Playing by what I posted about last nights encounter.
There is no emotion in that message though? I’m telling him that I am flat out done with his shit. I am done playing games. He needs to know that I am leaving for good. What is the point in having a voice if I’m not allowed to speak my mind? I have kept quiet for so long and he won’t expect this out of me.
I don’t see it making him feel awkward. Knowing him it may piss him off at first. The whole thing is, I know I’m not some other girl to him. If I was, of course it won’t make an impact. But if I just text him “lol I knew it. Thanks a lot..” and he freaks out over that, I don’t see how that will be a problem.
@Oshi I’m scared if I send it when he is with his friends or he is drinking then he won’t care to read it… or if I send it tomorrow morning he will have too much fun tomorrow night to even care..
I can’t decide whether or not to send it tonight or sometime later.. I would rather send it when I know he isn’t going to go and have fun as a distraction because he really needs to think. I know he will have somewhere to go tonight and tomorrow night. If I send it Sunday though, I am scared that he won’t care by then and it won’t phase him whatsoever.
@Coolcat Listen to between. She knows what she is talking about.
Both of you girls are in sticky messed up situations just like me. You both deserve the best. If both of you can sit here and answer this question to yourselves, you’ll know the answer to what you have to do: Are you happy? No I do not mean will you be happy or are you happy when you hang out or once in a while. I mean are you guys genuinely happy with where you are at and how they are treating you?
@between1standa I had just read what you said to Coolcat (I’m sorry I haven’t been around much, everything has kept me so busy) and I understand your defense. However, my friend made this statement yesterday. “He can have sex with whoever he wants and still have sex with you. He can still go to you. Even if you guys do something before or after. The whole point is, you’re having sex. He is getting what he wants. He may not be intentionally using you, but he is using you for the physical and emotional intamacy that he needs.” It hurt when she said that, but she was right. I don’t think my ex meant it in that way, but in a sense, he was using me. Just be careful and be aware. You aren’t doing anything wrong whatsoever and if he sticks around it is because he cares! But they can care and still use you.. it’s easier for them because it is something they’re used to. Just remember that..
No it was at Coolcat, but maybe you should too.. Hell we might as well all say goodbye since we are all just getting our hearts stomped on and crushed and beaten and whatever else there is.
Lol! I don’t mean that!! I fully support and understand everyone and their feelings!
@Oshi You are saying what I said a couple weeks ago…and now look where I’m at.. You really need to evaluate the situation. Don’t go as far as I did if you feel you can’t handle it. I have gotten so strong because of it, but I had to go through a lot of pain to get there.. don’t play games..
Should I send it now or when I feel it is convenient?
I completely agree with you. As long as at some point in his life it makes an impact. After everything you know about us, do you think he loves me? and do you think that will help influence him opening his eyes?
I’d send him a letter but if he’s trying to be an asshole he could send it back or whatever. When he gets a text, I wouldn’t know if he read it or not.
Which is why I want to send it when I know he has the moment to read it.
I plan on sending it later this evening! (Hopefully). What I mean by that is I want to send it at a time where I know he will be able to read it, but I also won’t be waiting for the text. Which would be perfect since he works 4-1 Sunday -__-
I was thinking of keeping a couple days of NC and then sending it will make even a bigger impression? I’m not sure, I was just trying to make myself feel better about waiting 2 more days! Haha! But the reason why I would wait is for that exact reason, not because I want to prolong this.
Do you think that text will open his eyes up? Maybe not right away because I’m sure he will take it harshly and go crazy and do what any guy does after being hurt, but do you think once everything settles in throughout NC it will make him realize?
“Name.. At first I wasn’t going to respond. I was just going to leave things as they were and go on from there. But then I realized that that would completely contradict the point I am trying to make and that it would just cause more problems because neither one of us would have closure. With that being said, I give up.. I’m done.. You won. These games are finally over. You finally got what you wanted. You finally pushed me away, while you got the chance to use me. Our relationship title ended in October, but it never really ended between us..until now. I made a promise to you over 3 years ago that I would never give up on you and that I would never leave you like many others have. I have never broken a promise to you, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to break those two. I meant everything I said to you and every feeling was real. But after 7 months of all of this back and forth nonsense..I’m done. I’m worn out. I’m tired. That doesn’t mean that I don’t love you, it just means that I love myself enough to say that I deserve so much better than this. I deserve someone who is going to take 20 seconds out of their day to text me back and someone who would like to see me more than once a week. Actually, someone who would rather spend an entire day with me instead of 4 hours. I understand that you are busy with work, family, and friends (and I understand that we technically aren’t together) but so am I, however I made sure that you knew you were just as important to me by texting you back within that day and by making time/trying to make plans with you. I really put time and effort into forgiving you for EVERYTHING (I know more than you think) and trying to understand your actions so that I could work with you in the hopes of us getting back together at some point. I wasn’t asking for much from you. I wasn’t asking you to give anything up or to only devote yourself to only me. All I wanted was you to respect me enough to treat me as if I meant something to you. Out of everyone..I never would have thought that you would do this to me. I would have thought that you would have treated me different than just being some meaningless girl, but at this point I feel like that is all I ever was. I thought I was your best friend..but best friends don’t do this to each other, no matter what. I realize that I should have done this sooner, but I held on because I cared that much for you. Like I said, it isn’t that I don’t care now, but I cannot hold onto someone who doesn’t want to hold onto me. I have got to focus on myself. I have got to let go of you and of our past and of our memories. Our road trips, our family gatherings, our adventures, our music, our heart to heart talks, our movie nights, our high school memories, our vacations, our late night Walmart runs, our dreams together, and so much more. I am ready to let all of that go and start a new life. I am not going to be that ex that says “I’m never going to talk to you again. We are never getting back together. You’re never going to see me again. Etc.” because neither of us have any idea what is going to happen in the future. We don’t know how we will feel, what we will realize, and how we will want to handle things. But for right now, it is time to be adults and set things aside. I think that with the strong connection/chemistry that we have and just working on communication, we would have had the future we talked about and it would have been amazing. There is no doubt in my mind that that would happen, and I know you agree. But people can have the biggest connection ever and still not work out. Connections start a relationship, but effort continues it. There was little effort coming from you and so much coming from me, and even though that connection is still strong, as of right now any sort of relationship will not work out between us. There is no doubt in my mind that you love me, and I completely understand that you can’t figure out what you want, but I don’t have another 7 months to wait and see if you finally figure out if you want me or not. Just remember that the decisions you make now are going to strongly impact your future. So for your own sake, make sure you are able to live with the decisions you make forever. I hope you have at least enough respect for me not to cuss me out or say mean/hurtful things to me. Anyways, good luck with everything and I wish for the best!”
What do you guys think?
I agree 100% with both of you! You guys have no idea how much I appreciate the support!
I have finally written out what I was going to say. The reason why I chose this route and to finally ignore him is basically within the text I will send to him soon. I hope all of this makes an impact on him. I’ll post it so you guys can see and comment!
