Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
@Mj You read my story! What do you think?
@Mj Trust me, she’s hurting just as much. Trust me on this one.
He just sent me that one apology text the day after we got into the fight! I put it in my story! Ever since I havent responded he has called me everyday. On Saturday he left a voicemail saying “please call me back”. Of course I didn’t. Last night he called me 4 more times. I have not answered anything or stayed in contact. He told me I ruined his life and he wants me out of it. He rubbed in my face about sleeping with 4 people since we broke up and how he is still seeing his boss and how she wrote “I love you” on a piece of paper and he kept it. I just don’t understand why he is so obsessed with talking to me now. After all the short texts. After ignoring me. After using me and keeping me around until he was “ready”. Like why now? It baffles me.
Girl, did I stop trying! Literally I’m so numb to the situation. Yesterday he didn’t contact me all day so I figured he got the hint, but to my surprise he called me 4 more times last night. He is not the kind of person to do this. So why is he doing it? Beats me! Haha!
@divjun No matter who you are with, what the situation is, and where you stand in life, you will get hurt. That is just life. The difference is, you’ll be strong enough to get through more of the hurt and learn what is best for you and what is not. No matter what, you will achieve happiness.
@mj do you know how hard it took for anyone’s opinion to influence me? At the end of the day, they won’t care. With @lolita situation, the friends also are being shut out. That is just the advantage. I’m telling you, the friends won’t influence her decision, she will follow her gut and make her own choice. No one influenced mine, I had to make it on my own. As of right now, my decision is to establish NC until I feel better (read my story if you’d like). She probably feels the same way deep down. Don’t give up hope!
@lolita
You’re welcome!
And I’m okay right now! I mean, I know that I am doing the right thing for NC and as of right now my honest goal is to not get back together at all. It is to put myself first for once and take care of me. This will help him by showing him that he cannot keep treating the people he loves and who love him like this. That he will drive them away. He has driven me away. In a way it is exciting, but it is weird. Like, I know I can live without him, and as of right now the wounds are still fresh from the verbal abuse I got last Tuesday, so I don’t really know how I feel. I definitely know I am numb to the situation. I’m fully committed to letting go and believing that whatever is mine will be mine at some point. However, it would be really nice for him to realize and regret. Not for revenge (at first I thought that is why I wanted that and I felt awful), but for recognition.. I want him to recognize everything I did to him and what he did to me.. I know he was in love with me and my brother told me last night “I know he will miss you. You guys had a connection right from a movie. He will regret it.” I just want him to realize and I hope that his boss (girlfriend thing or whatever she is haha) doesn’t compare to me. I already know she doesn’t (obviously our values and morals are very opposite and he seems to find mine to be wife material) but it still bothers me. It bothers as to why he has been trying to contact me since that night. He didn’t try that hard before then. So why now? Today he hasn’t tried, but I think it is because he got the hint. Idk. My mind is in a loop haha!@lolita
You need to let him do this though. The whole fact that no only you, but EVERYONE else around him realizes what is going on. When he begins to see all of you guys withdrawn, it will make him realize a lot. Stick to no contact. All I’m saying is it could be 1 week, to 1 month, to 1 year, to however much time! He will at some point in his life contact you. When that time comes, you’ll either be there or you won’t! Either way, you’ll be confident enough to be happy with your life. Then you’ll know what you want or don’t want!@divjun I truly believe he loves you too! I promise, everything will work out for you! Conintuing with the no contact will make him realize how amazing you are. Good luck 🙂
So I’m assuming maybe you guys were each others first loves? He was mine and I was his. That’s why it is much harder. But there comes a point where you just have to do it. You WILL survive. Read my story?https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/why-is-he-doing-this/#post-33695
She obviously does love you. The thing is, when she contacts you do not answer. Right away she will wonder “why is he not talking to me?”. Stick to strict no contact! I know it’ll be hard, but look at it as you’re doing each other a favor! Trust me, you will be making the right decision! After that, THEN show her you changed.
Answer mine?
You definitely need to implement NC. She will care if you are with someone else and she will respond to the NC.
You cannot respond to her. When my ex never responded to me, it made me miss him and it drove me crazy.
It is EXTREMELY obvious that she cares, but if she needs a break so do you. It seems like you’ve gone through a lot, you need time to process it and deal with your own demons as well as she did. She will miss you. I promise.
Answer mine?https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/why-is-he-doing-this/#post-33695
@divjun remember everything you said to me? You and I are in very similar situations. Either way you look at it, you’re dealing with what I am dealing with.
You said you guys were both 20? My ex and I are 18 and 19. Now, I am not one at all to say that you are never too young to love. I do believe at our age you are capable of finding the one. The only obstacle with this situation is that we are all trying to figure ourselves out. You can’t have a strong healthy relationship with another person, if you can’t have one with yourself.
Obviously both of our exes are extremely unhealthy and very confused about what they want in their lives. Guess what? That isn’t either of our faults at all! That’s theirs! I know you and I are still trying to find ourselves too.
What I am saying, stick to NC 100%. No breaks. No nothing. Do not talk to him for a month, if not longer. Not just to grasp his attention to make him realize, but for YOU. This is YOUR time. Be honest with yourself and ask, “What time have I truly invested in myself since we started dating to this point?” I bet your answer will be, “I haven’t invested any time in myself…”
Take this time for you. Find out what you like. Who you like. Evaluate your relationship. Make a decision on who you want to spend the rest of you life with. Keep up with NC and do not give in. Seriously, right now, you are more important.
