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I think the 30 day NC would be a good thing. If you don’t respond then it will give him space to reflect and miss you. It sounds like he messages a lot so perhaps just tell him you’d like some space and time and start the 30 days.
I wonder if visiting his son had an impact. Perhaps it stirred up some feeling of guilt in him having moved on so quickly or perhaps he felt he was betraying his son..or maybe his son wasn’t happy with the situation?
Whatever the reasons I think a little time with no contact would give you both time to reflect and miss each other. It’s certainly worth a try.
It’s not easy I’m struggling ..for me it’s been a week. I’m wondering why he hasn’t contacted me at all.
But…be strong. Look after yourself. Let him miss you.
I know it’s not easy to not dwell on it and wonder what he is doing or thinking..You should concentrate on yourself more than anything now.
The power is there as long as you maintain no contact. It’s your choice not to contact him then..regardless of whether he contacts you or not. You had ready decided not to contact him….So him not contacting you is irrelevant…does that make sense?
Plat, you should join the thread with Belle on no contact…we three seem to be in the same place….
Ah..My housemate is from Portugal. The north though. I’ve been to the Algarve and Lisboa 🙂
Resist the urge….we both must it won’t do any good. We lose the power then…
Exactly…You need positivity now. Same as me. I’m fighting the urge to message him right now…argh!
But more importantly…You live near a beach? I think I will give you no contact now :p I’m in rainy Manchester, England and I’m maintaining a nice pasty white colour… 🙁 Where are you?
I understand, when I was with mine I was always dreaming of a boyfriend that wasn’t him, someone who doesn’t exist.
Like me, we just have to give them space. The space will help us..help us not dwell or stress so much. Give us perspective…we existed before them we will after..
Are you exercising? That’s been good for me. I used to run last year then stopped…now I have started again..the couch to 5km programme. But I have skipped right to week four despite no running for 9 months. I listen to podcasts that make me laugh while I exercise..It’s like a double hit…exercising and laughing.
My legs ache today when I walk up stairs…It’s a nice feeling..if your legs ache your heart aches less.
I think that’s what we both need to move away from…the whole..”I’m dying without you” stuff. I know, we think it will work..they will feel sorry for us but they don’t, they just want to run.
I actually didn’t live with him, but I spent so much time there and the last time I left a lot of things there. It doesn’t matter the situation though, when you feel love you feel it…when it hurts it hurts, it’s not a competition. We’re here to support each other through this time…
I miss sharing my bed with him, miss his smell..everything. but I have to be strong, get better and he can again meet the girl he fell in love with.
Of course not, you can’t forget someone you loved so easily. But he needs time to erase leave behind the negative and think of the positive. Maybe we will both never get them back…the problem with being a woman is we analyse every tiny decking detail. Every word, gesture, action…it’s a terrible way to be but it’s what we do.
I understand how you feel…I’m wondering why my ex hasn’t contacted me to even see if I am ok..given my recent suicide attempts. But I know he was at a loss of what to do..
I also know that his apartment is full of my things, even his phone charger is mine. My DvDs are there, my Xbox games, he even has my blanket on his bed, my food in his fridge, the kettle there I bought, my sponge is in his bathroom, my tea in his cupboard, my boots….So many things. So he can’t forget me. I figure he needs space to forget the last shitty month when I lost my mind and became depressed…when he lost the woman he loved.
Sorry…I just wanted to talk about that stuff..
It’s probably not a heartless act but an attempt to remove the pain of reminders. That’s how I would view it, if you are not bothered then pictures would not bother you. Removing reminders is removing the source of pain. Look at it that way.
How long has it been for you? Make yourself a small calendar like I have. So you can cross off the days and write on the good things you did some days…like running 4km or somesuch. I have post its on my door that tell me I am awesome, not to contact him. You could even take a pic of one and use it as your phone screensaver/ lock screen. Just an idea.
The good things (bad thing?) About this place is that we all know the awful pain and despair each other is going through.
Be strong Platinum stick with no contact.
