[Eehs]

Today is day 2 of NC (round 2). The first was only 5 days and I replied to his plethora of texts asking how I am and if I’m ok. I had said to please just leave me alone and eventually it turned into a conversation which he was in control of and I’m sure I seemed needy.
Today is very tough. Your birthday is in a week and I know you don’t like to celebrate it much and it’s “just another day” for you but I remember the past 3 of your birthdays we spent together and it’s going to be so difficult not being able to do the special things I had planned. I had already taken off work to come see you and spend time with you and the family for your birthday but now I will have to find something else to do.
Today i feel extremely scared. I know you said you just want to be alone for a while and try to understand your feelings and yourself but I’m so afraid that you are trying to allow yourself to heal so you can move on and try pursuing these feelings for her
I am afraid to lose you for good. I keep trying to think of the end result of NC that we will eceny be back in each other’s arms. I know how much you care about me and I know you love me as I could see it on your face the last time we spoke. So I will keep thinking that and keep telling myself this is all worth it. I want to be happy and I want you to be happy as well.

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