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You should wait and stick to the NC. That is your best bet. Do not worry about the other girl, that is a rebound. Take the NC time and focus on yourself. If your ex has any sense, he will not get that girl pregnant, so get that out of your head too. You definitely have a chance of getting him back here, so don’t for a second think you don’t, but you need to use the NC and come to terms with your situation and clear your head. You got this! Keep everyone here posted.
On day 18 of NC myself…It is hard, but I am thinking clearer now. Very happy to be able to say that.
Hey, You’ll be ok. I know it seams so hopeless right now, but you will be ok and you need to do NC if you want to have the chance to get him back someday. I am on day 18 of NC and I still think of my ex every day, but it gets a bit easier each day as I learn to cope with it. I know it is so hard, but the NC is the only way. Your mind will eventually clear up and you can get back your life and live on your own terms again. I am getting there and you will do. You got this. We are all rooting for you!
I totally hear you bro. I have had a dream twice already where my ex and I worked it out and were back together again. I woke up all happy both times, but after a minute or so I realize it was only a dream and become super depressed. The dreams eventually go away. Block her if you need to keep yourself from going on and looking at her stuff. Do the NC man. If you miss her and feel that you are the best one for her then the NC is the only way. Be strong.
Definitely don’t worry about the other guys. Even if she starts to show interest in one of them, you need to ignore them. There is a reason why she wasn’t with one of them to begin with. Do the NC. Sounds like you are doing ok with taking car of yourself which is good. It is not your fault she is talking to her old ex, so don’t blame yourself there. Girls tend to do things like that when they are having a tough time. You need to be indifferent to her at school and act like you two are acquaintances and nothing more. Do not go out of your way to talk to her or anything. You are on the NC step and it will get harder before it gets easier over the next several days, but stick to it.
Stop blaming yourself. Two weeks ago I was doing the same thing, and I did all the begging and crying and stuff before I started NC. I took all the blame and gave my girl all the power and pushed her right into the arms of this back-burner dull dude that she is currently with. Now its time to take some of that power back and clear my head. The same for you. You are doing this for you. Not her. It’ll get there man. Stay strong!
Hey KevinRev,
I think you should go back to the no contact. It doesn’t sound like you have really done it right and 2 weeks doesn’t seem long enough for your situation, so I suggest the full month. I know this is really hard, but it is the only way to get her back. I wouldn’t worry about her reaching out to an old ex. She will still think about you. But you need to take the time away from her to let her miss you. You need to play it cool and clear your head or you will keep ruining your chances. She knows she has you if she wants you right now, and you need to put some distance in there. I understand that no contact is just so hard. I am 2.5 weeks into it myself, but it is your only chance man. When you feel the need to contact, just come post on here instead, or read the other stories of people on here. It helps me. Also, Relationship Rewind is pretty insightful if you haven’t read it yet.
You can get her back man, but without the no contact you don’t stand a chance. You need to do it right and focus on yourself. If you still decide to get her back after the NC, then you can post where your at and everyone on here will help tell you how to reconnect. Keep your head together and build some confidence. It will help to re-attract her when the time is right. You got this man.
Hey a.z.
So I don’t want to break any of the rules on this board, but I wanted to know if you’d be willing to read my story. It’s kinda long and I can’t post it because it has names and won’t read right if I remove them. I need real advice with my situation, and I see all your posts and think you would be a great person to give me feedback. I do understand if you are not comfortable doing this and won’t be offended. Please let me know if you’d be willing to. I don’t want to break the rules and exchange any sort of contact info on here, but I could maybe post an email on some other forum/site for you to access. Thanks for your time and your consideration is appreciated.
Thank you mm88 and a.z. So the girl that I am doing the no contact with has done some things with a few of my friend over the past week. Our friend circles were intermingled, but when I say that I more or less mean that she was brought into my friend circle. She doesn’t have many if any friends (at least not around here) that she didn’t meet through me. My guys friends have girl friends that are sort-of friends with her, though they never before hung with her unless it was a group thing until recently. She went and grabbed a drink with one of my best friends and his girlfriend a few days ago. This is a first. I also have a girl roommate that went out with her recently and met her new bf. This is strange because my roommate hadn’t done anything with her for over a month prior. My friends are super loyal to me and always keep me posted on things, so I know she has been asking about me. I know I didn’t put the whole story up here, but the new guy isn’t really even a threat to me, especially after having met him several weeks back.
Either way I am sticking to the plan here. I do feel that she may reach out to me before the month is up and I am unsure as to how I should handle that, so I will likely be asking for help when it happens. I really want to do the whole month of no contact here, but ignoring her if she reaches out would be reinforcing an old behavior that I don’t want to repeat. It is one of the reasons that I am now with this girl right now. I’m actually right now on day 13 of no contact. And doing ok so far. I want the rest of the time to clear my head totally and make sure I am sure I want to go for her again here, but I know her dad is coming to visit in a week, and last time he came I got to meet him and he went to eat with my friends and me. He will likely ask about me and I can see a text coming my way “My dad says hi.” I may even get something sooner than that.
Anyway just an update. Not sure if it means something that she is hanging with my friends. Will keep everyone posted if I hear from her. Thanks again for being there everyone!
Make sure you keep your cool here man. You need to show her that you are fine and that you are moving forward. Be assured, she is thinking about you. You should avoid contact if you can, but if you do end up in a situation where you need to interact with her, keep it very light and don’t think much of it. You need to display a bit of coldness here so she understands the distance you are putting between you guys. Relationship Rewind really helped me understand where I am in the whole thing, not that I mean to pitch a book at you here, but it is really good. I am currently about 2 weeks into the no contact and still feel the pain every day, but I know that if I don’t focus on myself then I will never get her back. I pushed this girl right into the arms of another guy. Was really messed up the way it played out. It is starting to get a bit easier, and after this no contact month I will decide if I am going to re-connect and try and get her back. I feel that I will try it, but the only chance I have is to suffer through the no contact first, so you need to keep it together man. I hear ya, and feel that pain.
