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I’m glad you are still together! It sounds like he just needs to time to work this all out. I totally understand how you are feeling. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. Keep me posted. Sending positive thoughts your way.
He sounds really conflicted. I mean it’s a good sign that he thinks he just needs through the weekend to sort things out, right? I don’t know.
Your situation sounds so much like mine.
Right after my boyfriend broke up with me the first week, he said he just needed some time to think and that he was feeling really conflicted about if he could be in a relationship right now. He said the same thing about not wanting to leave me in limbo. At the end of the week, he was still conflicted but he didn’t want to lose me in his life and he missed me so much all week. But he said I just can’t be in a relationship right now. He displayed hot and cold behavior the next few weeks, we hung out a few times and he was really affectionate and treated me like I was his GF again. But then he blew me off after we made plans one day and sent me that “you deserved better” text. I haven’t heard from him since and that’s when I started NC 12 days ago now.
The difference is you guys are still together. I hope your situation doesn’t turn out like mine has. I have been so confused by my ex boyfriend’s behavior and I don’t know why he is not talking to me right now. I guess he is stubborn as hell.
I would say just give him the space he needs through the weekend and then you guys should talk again. Maybe he just needs a few days to gain some clarity. He sounds a lot more mature than my ex. I really hope it works out for you.
Well, I mean you said the first time you broke up he realized how much you meant to him after 4 days and then just all the stuff you said about the last 8 months…meeting his family, best friends wedding guys only do that when they love you. You are obviously very important to him.
He’s been ignoring you for 5 days?
I don’t really understand why he is ignoring you when you are still in a relationship, I’m no relationship expert I mean look at my situation. Not great.
It’s pretty messed up that you don’t really know where you stand. But maybe he really does just need space right now to sort out everything on his own. It sounds like he’s been through a horrible ordeal. I really hope it works out for you guys. Keep us posted. Hang in there!
Hey,
I basically already said this in the other thread but agree with you that you should give him space right now. The more you push, the more he fades away. I’ve learned this the hard way. Basically everything your instincts are telling you to do, don’t do.
I think you guys are going to be ok. It sounds like he really loves you.
Hopefully some other people can offer their advice…
Be strong.
I’m not going to lie I’m still scared. But I know I have to be ok before I contact or see him again. Because if I’m not, and it doesn’t work out I can’t handle the heartbreak again. I refuse to feel that way again. Basically I need to move on without really moving on. If that makes sense. I need to feel like it’s he’s “loss” if we don’t get back together. I’m just taking a leap of faith and hoping for the best.
Yea, today is day 10. I just talked to a good friend last night and she kind of put it in perspective. She was like first, you really need to focus on yourself and getting yourself happy outside of him. You can and should be happy without him. If you get him back he just adds to your happiness. And she also said that she is certain that he misses me and thinks about me.
I don’t know, I just woke up today and I decided I was going to try my best to be positive today and if I really want him back I have to work on myself and make myself happy and confident again. For myself but also for my relationship. Guys are attracted to happy, confident girls. And that’s not who I have been since we broke up.
My boyfriend went ghost on me for almost two days before we broke up. He was on a business trip and it went horribly and that’s when all job stuff started coming out. When he broke up with me he thought he was going to get fired the next day. He was really distant the first week but kept in contact. He just kept talking about how conflicted he felt about our relationship and life in general. But yes he absolutely pushed me away and basically shutdown emotionally and wasn’t really communicating. I feel for you. I really do.
Yea, today I was actually feeling really good. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who is unhappy myself. So I do get it, even though in practice it’s hard when you are hurting. But I’m actually feeling a lot better today. Have you heard from your boyfriend since the call? I think it’s good that you are giving him space but at least let him know you are here for him.
I read your post, I’m really sorry to hear that your boyfriend is feeling that way.
Yea, I’m starting to understand that. It’s just hard. Like I don’t know if he will be feeling better when NC is over. I really don’t think he will feel satisfied until he has a new job that fulfills his self worth. Who knows how long it could take. Last time we talked he wasn’t even looking for a new job.
I’m still going to contact him after NC, I just don’t know how long I should try for reconciliation before I should give up.
We were only together a few months which is part of the reason I’m so worried he will move on quickly and forget all about me. But I was his first girlfriend in the last six years…so maybe not.
When he broke up with me, he said he really hates his job and sees no future with the company and feels “stuck in his life.” He said he couldn’t handle a relationship right now. He also said he feels a burden with his personal problems and me leaning on him with my own personal stress/problems. Basically, he couldn’t handle it.
I’m going to keep up the no contact but I just really don’t want to be crushed again when NC is over.
You said NC worked for you. Did you get your ex back?
