[Conrmcauliffe]

Hey, I need immediate advice I am lost and depressed without my other half. I have known her since 5/6 grade, but each time we talked throughout the years even when she was in a relationship we clicked and she fell for me. We talked on and off sometimes it would go a few months by and than we would talk again. We never dated until once we got to highschool and she transferred over to mine (not cause of me), and even after that we talked for a couple of months before starting/ satisfying our interest in each other by being together. We constantly skyped and texted each other 24/7 we had the freedom of talking to our guy and girl friends (not an open relationship) just talking to friends not flirting. Eventually it dwindled down to being just each other were the only two of the opposite gender we interacted with. We literally were up each other’s asses, did everything together and we’re both head over heels for each other.I dated her from freshmen year until senior year (currently). She is going through rough times in life family wise, her father is going to jail, she has a job to support the family and she cooks dinner, the mother is working three jobs and barely ever around for her so it eventually all hit her. She caved in and started talking to a new group of friends that made her want to smoke weed to escape her problems and have fun. We had a sworn promise to never do it while we dated and if we did the other person had to know and or be there with them, unfortunately she lied and snuck around, I found out through social media I was disappointed and told her mother what had happened because we were close friends. So from here on out my love story becomes insanely intense and crazy, she tells me we need a break and she knows we will be getting back together. So after talking for another week and she comes to see my terminally ill brother with me in the hospital and wipes away my tears telling me she loves me and will always be here. That night she than cries to me and she decided to dump me on FaceTime. She told her mother how badly she wants to talk to me and I give her an apology letter with roses and chocolates and the teddy bear she gave me during my major surgery last year for a heart problem. I constantly texted her and told her how much I loved her and said we should try but she wouldn’t listen. I eventually gave her space for four days than texted her constantly again, until she decides to see me and hangout as friends we wound up having sex and she said she loves me and always will and she was happy with what happened and that we could be friends with benefits and stuff but not a relationship because she doesn’t want one. She stated she doesn’t want to talk about her day, have me there for her through her hard times in life, or text 24/7. So I accept it and told one of my friends who went and told one of hers and she found out flipped out and completely stopped the interaction. I gave up with talking to her for a week, and she came back to me on FaceTime crying saying she needs me her life is horrible without me and she needs someone here and I’m all she has left. She threatened to cut herself and commit suicide if I didn’t so I caved in and talked to her. We wound up getting back together for two weeks, but she wouldn’t tell anyone and said eventually she will. We talked in the halls again in school, texted all day, talked on FaceTime at night until we fell asleep , helped each other with homework, laughed with me, hung out once she was out of work, gave her rides home from school, she went to my swim meets it was love all over again and she said she loved me and we wound up being happy in person and having sex yet again . Than the last two days together, she becomes uninvolved in the conversation for texting gives one word answers , says she doesn’t like texting in school and doesn’t text me, and after that would go to work and not text me on break. So I ask what’s going on and she said her opinion doesn’t matter and she is forced to be with me, because I took her back with open arms and she promised not to break my heart again. So I say what’s on your mind, she said she doesn’t feel the same anymore and is stuck because she needs someone to talk to and that person is easily me. So than I flip out start saying she has to love me after all we have been through all the memories, I break down start sending a million texts and saying how she promised. And than she said if I’m not stuck than are we still dating I said yes because you are confused and overthinking everything you still must love me we just had sex. She said “I love how you think you know more about me than I do” and ” I can do that because I am comfortable and it was nothing new” and ” I don’t love a single person right now” and ” I don’t want a relationship, I don’t want to talk about my day and text 24/7″ also to break my heart ” I don’t feel the same, and I don’t think I ever will love you again”. So I say “you have to be with me for my sake I’m suicidal without you I’m in love with you and if not I will force you by leaking your nudes” . She than goes to her mother and tells her everything and her mom calls me and says the whole relationship is over and we aren’t to talk anymore, that we make each other miserable. So I spam Danielles phone and her mom because she said all this and was texting me, I pleaded to talk to Danielle and work things out. It resulted in being blocked on my phone, so I used 5 other devices to beg and plead and threaten my suicide and exposure of her photos . I was not serious nor do I mean to harm her or ever do anything to myself that will harm my health. I am torn apart without her. It has been a few days without her now. And I am unsure of how to handle the situation? The no contact is 30 days? But if she said she doesn’t feel the same wouldn’t that disconnect it all for good? And what if im still blocked how do I communicate than? When I do talk to her after NC what do I say, like what conversations do I have? Do I state I have feelings still or I’m interested right away or wait a while after we are friends if I can be her friend? She admits she loves me and that in person she was happy and all her problems disappeared, but I don’t understand. What if she dates someone else even though she said she didn’t want a relationship? Do I apologize right away right now for what I did or wait until NC is over? How do I handle this?!?!? I don’t know how she feels about me, I swear she has to be conflicted and from what she said idk maybe she is over me forever….. I just need to know the proper steps to take to have her heal and than we get back together without her I’ve Been a complete mess. But in person I can hold myself together long enough to act perfectly fine. How do I get her to hangout with me? And after that how do I slyly hint I’m interested still/ want to try without making it seem like my call but hers? How do I make her want me… After all I’ve done… There has to be some path to resolve our conflict. I don’t know how she feels she goes back and forth too much or did and now it feels final but I need immediate help. I fucked up….. Someone anyone help me…. My parents know, they don’t like seeing me hurt and don’t want it
To work but If I took her back they would allow it as long as I’m happy. Her mom is disappointed and I think will never get over the fact I threatened to publicly leak her daughter WHICH IS HORRENDOUS AND ONLY AN EMPTY THREAT ! A FEASIBLE ATTEMPT IN DESPERATION TO GET A CHANCE AT LOVE AGAIN. Someone anyone, help me….. I need it flat out . Here’s what I do if I really want to try it. And I need to know how to handle all of this. I am still blocked, I talked to her best friend to talk to her and sway her away from rebounds and poor choices, and to guide her back to me. Thank you for your time, this is a major impact on my life and I love this girl to death and would do anything for her. I know I definitely need a month for them to heal, but what do I do after or if she doesn’t approach me how do I contact her ….. :/ someone help me have a happy ending . How do I talk to her if she doesn’t reach out to me…. And what do I talk about with her all I will want to do is question her to death so how do I talk….. Seriously i need somebody to understand I’m sorry for my mistakes , they were serious and detrimental to my health and reputation and life I could have gone to jail if they hadn’t gone to my parents first. I had spammed her with the four devices the day after the break up non stop, and she never replied once and blocked them all. How do I fix this entirely….. Like personally what do I need to do, I refuse to think I should let go. I know she is the one , the soulmate and sweetheart and we can do this. I just need the right approach and steps.

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