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You don’t want to get pushed into the ‘friend zone’. There is no such thing, but you get what I mean. Be kind, but cold?
Do whatever you feel is best. When you meet on Tuesday, just enjoy her company. Then if the time arises, stand up for what you want. Tell her that you care about her and that you love her, and that friends just isn’t going to cut it for you. Be nice about it though, then walk away. She’s telling you she’s not ready for a relationship, so tell you’re not ready for just friends, because you’re not right? No point in beating around the bush.
Then again, it’s just an outsider’s point of view. Take the evening as it comes first, but don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. If you end up saying what you need to, you’ll need to give yourself time, so no contact.
Ahaha you’re a funny guy Patrick! Thanks for your message. Thinking about going somewhere just for a few days, get away from myself.
Good progress on your end again it would seem. I hope your meeting goes well this evening, you sound ready for it. You do sound like you’re in a good place. Whatever you guys are doing, don’t play any games. You’re not I’ve noticed, she is though. Guarded. But opening up.
I piped up yesterday and messaged her on Facebook, was feeling crazy so said so and asked if she’d like to go to Paris with me next we meet. She said no, I said no worries! Kept it positive. She told me she was very confused after seeing me Sunday, that she’d reply to my text soon. I said sounds great, no obligations. Told her I found some good songs I’d like to share with her.
I texted her just now. A joke I made at work. Said I hoped her new units at uni were interesting. Was really good to see you on Sunday.
I know that my friend, that’s what’s been eating me up the past few days. It’s so hard because I’m at my worst right now, but it’s changed from worrying about what she’s doing to worrying about what I should have done differently. When I think about her all I think about is her, not what she’s up to. I fed into the bait about Portsmouth because I’d already created that situation in my mind. I’ve finally realised that it’s me that’s doing this to me, not anyone else.
I realised that a long time ago.
Are you meeting her tonight?
Just feeling like I may not see her again, like I see that actually I hadn’t changed, and it’s not worry this time around which has been very sobering.
Keep your head on your shoulders Patrick, you’ll be ok whatever happens. I’m at work so will come back to you with more on your story later.
Interesting that she wants to meet, don’t think about what it means too much though and it’ll work wonders in your favour.
Go from where you are as you said to me, and that’s that you’re meeting now. That’s what you wanted, work towards it.
Unfortunately for me I think I asked too many questions when she offered to meet the other week. I think that’s why she said she didn’t believe me when I said I had changed. Shot myself in the foot a bit.
I’m not in such a black or white situation I guess. She said still feels everything for me, but can’t come back because she thinks I haven’t made a change.
I will have to show her somehow, very carefully that I’m not the man she left. Last week I think I might have ruined things a little as it’s been so long already. When I said about the ‘I don’t knowing’ she said maybe in a few weeks.
I haven’t been on here because I feel sad, and in some respects this site has fuelled my fire for paranoia, I overthink everything. You’ve seen how I’ve acted on this journey.
I noticed that when I sent her texts without questions in she responded much better.
Be brave Patrick. Good for you on seeing the drama girl. Texts are nice again eh? Now that’s just messing you around. Stick to your guns, as she really is losing a good man, if she doesn’t want you then fuck her. Her mistake, she can keep ruining her own life, she can’t see the wood for the trees. Just make sure the hope you’re holding out isn’t false. Please actually move on now, you seem to have come so far in every other aspect of your life. You owe it to yourself. Have you seen the silver linings playbook? I watched it last night, was a bit like looking in a mirror.
You know when you go and get your things if you haven’t already, don’t even talk to her if you can help it. Just take them and leave. Don’t give her the time of day.
So today was weird, but it was something. We had some very emotional conversations, but we also had a really nice time. Lots and lots of laughing. Some of one and then more of the other, and repeat. I was honest and told her that I wanted to fight for it, but also said that I know there’s nothing I can do to change things if that’s how it’s to be.
She said she feels like it’s really hard as she feels like she’s cut ties with her soulmate, and would say I don’t know a lot. Then she’d ask me questions which would initiate a ‘fight for you’ response from me and then say she’s leaving me again. Said she didn’t believe when I said things were different in terms of my issues, but I noted that how can I show her if she won’t let me.
So I said that if there really was nothing left then we wouldn’t of been able to have any nice moments today at all, so if she doesn’t know then why keep forcing herself down one route. We agreed on I don’t know. Left it on a nice note, she hugged me and I kissed her hand and cheek and said if she’s free on a weekend I’d love to do more ‘I don’t knowing’ with her.
If it’s over now then so be it, I got to say how I feel and it wasn’t taken badly. Everything she said rang very true with me to be fair, bar the part about not wanting to carry on obviously.
Wow Patrick. I figured from your silence that something had happened either way. I’m sorry to hear it went down like that.
It’s still odd that she asked you to come over to collect things. If you don’t know what it is, then I wouldn’t bother. For your sake I mean.
It doesn’t make any sense that she would reach out to you with photos. Just leave it now, use this as closure. Even though there is no such thing I guess.
I think this might be the harsh reality of it all my friend. I’m seeing her tomorrow, we exchanged a few texts tonight. You never know.
