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You did well the other day Patrick, hold fast my friend.
I often think the same. Two people with a strong connection can sense each other’s feelings. Then again, I was struggling today and she seemed oddly cold.
You do whatever you need to do to feel better right now my friend.
Check out Dreaming with Jeff. Jeff Bridges’ sleep tapes. He’s a dude. The Dude, if you’re a Lebowski fan. Anyway, they’re a great distraction if nothing else. Simple. Kind.
I wonder what will happen in my situation. I may send my message, but not tonight. Just strange that we said so much to each other last weekend, now it’s back to where it was before.
Yes, leave it. She will
get back to you in time. Funnily enough my Ma advised me the same. I probably shouldn’t have even Facebooked her but never mind. She doesn’t reply to the casual things though. Makes sense I suppose. I wrote this, haven’t sent it though:That’s OK, I understand. I won’t text again. I know things are kind of fucked and that’s why you don’t reply. I’ve accepted that we are where we are for a reason, that happened a little while ago.
I just keep getting this feeling that something isn’t right. It hits me every day. I felt it when we saw each other. I feel it when I don’t talk to you at all. I just think you might be my fucking soulmate. Even after it all. Stupid right?
I may be a fool for wearing my heart on my sleeve. Doesn’t matter.
Anyway, I really do care about you, so I’ll leave you alone now. Let me know sometime about meeting up. Xxx
You have good patience, so stick with that. Psychology guy has some interesting viewpoints. No pressure is a great idea. Shame she bailed on your meet, but that’s not a negative thing.
Silence is annoying yes. As you said though, not necessarily a negative thing. You knew this would take time. She has things to weigh up, outside variables.
She definitely sounds keen, not to get your hopes up or anything.
I spoke with her again, though it was a kind of muted conversation. I text her last night casually but got no reply so followed up on Facebook. Said I text because I wanted to speak to her, but felt stupid after I do text. Said it was very confusing.
She replied apologising for not replying, agreed that it was very confusing.
Said I liked her post in our group page, have a nice weekend.
She said I guess it’s really difficult for her too hence her no replies. Again, she’s sorry. Have a nice weekend.
Left me feeling a bit stupid. A nothing kind of conversation, the worst kind.
I got relationship rewind (you can just Google it and download it, don’t tell anyone!) and it just seems a bit rubbish, I read the vast majority and found it difficult to identify exactly where I stood at all. So many variables.
Definitely some good tips in there though.
Don’t you always wonder just how much general information can actually be applied to a very subjective situation though?
I get Kevin’s emails and they’re great. But it’s like feeling ill and trying to diagnose yourself with Google. There’s a pattern sure, but just how accurate is it in something that is completely different for everybody?
I don’t know if I’m being pessimistic. It certainly helps stop you from making stupid mistakes. I just know that the course my breakup has taken so far, has just happened the way it has happened. I say I did things wrong, but who’s to say I actually could have done them any differently, even with the right advice?
I think these boards are great, however. To be able to speak your mind and get honest advice from people will never be a bad thing.
I think things are different for you and I because really they are, your situation is yours and mine is mine. We were both in relationships with completely different people. To apply the site’s logic though, I guess you are ‘further down the line’ than I.
But you’re also making good progress now.
She seems to confuse me being in love with her with me not changing. The changing part is what she’s missed out on entirely!
Don’t feel bad. You have the resolve of a sensei.
I’m just not going to be friends with her, I couldn’t put myself through that. I’ve already made my mind up on that front, and I’ll tell her if the time comes. I’ll always be brave enough to lay it on the line.
I love the woman, and that doesn’t go away so I won’t pretend it will. I’m consistent at least.
What I don’t appreciate is that she’s hiding from me. She saw me and said all those things, and now she’s hiding again.
It’s pretty simple really, either she loves me enough to give this another go, or she doesn’t and that’s ok.
You’re in a similar but very different place to me, and I think you have made the right choices.
Eurgh, I’ll be honest, I’m not in this for the long haul. And I’m not going to be friends so she can run around with whomever she likes either. That’s part of my thinking with this site, you’ve got to be careful not to give people exactly what they need to walk away.
She knows how I feel about her now, and if she doesn’t think I’ve learnt enough from losing her then so be it, but that’s foolish of her. Things would be very different from now on.
I think you’re right. I’ll just go quiet.
She’s doing immunology. I can only wait I suppose. After I asked her about Paris (she said no) she said she was confused, said sorry she hadn’t replied to my casual text but would soon.
I said sounds great, no obligations. She hasn’t replied since.
I sent her a new song. Said I’d found new songs and would like to share them. No reply.
There have been no arguments. The problem is that she just isn’t replying at all.
Good mindset.
Forget about the texts. Time will tell.
In my case, she’s always all over whatsapp. It’s saddening. Friends posting on her wall about how she’s always on her phone. She never used to be.
This week she’s starting her new units. Funny, it’s only her and the handsome older doctor doing that unit out of her friendship group. They have to come up with a whole plan to contain a virus spread over 24 hours in a city or something. Will have to see what happens if she meets me next weekend.
Had very mixed messages on Sunday. She said that she thinks she’ll die alone now (while laughing), no one knows her as well as me, cutting ties with soulmate, never met someone as unique as me. But also still had strong negative associations. After our meet I felt better, I hope her feeling better doesn’t push her towards someone else.
Going to stop thinking about it all now anyway.
Wait till your next meeting, you’ll see something different. It will be good.
And we’ll have to see on my end, my offer to meet again was replied with a very edgy ‘maybe’. So we’ll see.
Confusion is better than no, yes. But it’s much easier to continue with your decision than to make another. So we’ll see.
I just wouldn’t over think it for now. You did so good my friend. Seriously.
Can I ask, does she have another relationship now, or is it still the same one? Mr party guy or whatever.
You’ve been so patient, continue with your path. Your messages just the other day were so focused on your life so keep it up. I’m following your lead.
Be careful, don’t give too much right away. Remember the ball and the court. She suggested the second meet so go from there. Forget what texts do and don’t say, you can only really tell how someone is feeling in person. I think you had good signs.
Wow Patrick, that sounds like a really nice evening.
So odd for our new partners. Clearly still going through the processes, but of course she would be. It hasn’t even been that long for the both of you.
Setting up a second date, that’s progress.
Sounds like you got what you wanted, it also sounds like you had a really nice evening too. You did really good, well done!
No news on my end. Sent her a song I found this evening. Will have to wait and see if she replies to me at any point. Judging by the length of time she’s taking about it though I figure she won’t be casual about it. Seems odd considering how she said she felt on Sunday. Felt like I got through to her, just wondering if things will just go back to as they were. Meh, we’ll have to see!
No anxiety now, just sadness. At least that’s gone, going to keep it at bay. Missing her badly most days. I wonder if she’ll be missing me.
