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She’s confused. Even just hold off for a few texts from her. Stop letting her control you, it’s not fair on yourself.
No contact. One week. See what happens, but actually do it this time. Why can’t you do no contact? You sound pissed off. Stand your ground.
In fact I don’t feel needy at all honestly. I know that we broke up. That happened a long time ago.
It doesn’t sit right though. And that’s not just a feeling. Outside of all the usual emotions you’re expected to feel. Something is there, and it’s not blind hope. I can’t put it to paper.
Thanks Patrick. I know the needyness needs to stop. When we met I think it was too emotional, maybe confused for needyness. It couldn’t be helped though, those things needed to be said.
Today after just apologising for it all, I feel less needy. I wish that in these moments of peace I could talk to her and she’d hear me.
Though something is troubling me. She’s so distant all of a sudden. Then again she’s been distant the whole time. But all Facebook likes have stopped, they stopped before we met. Not a big deal, but it shows the state of affairs.
Of course I want her back. I just don’t think it’s going to happen.
Got Kevin’s email about consistency on their side. Made some interesting observations.
She apologised for jumping the gun with her text.
I said that I’d been thinking about us a lot, and apologised for hurting her at the end.
Said if she’d like to it’d be good to meet up again this weekend.
Hi Patrick,
So this weekend is our maybe meet up weekend.
She text me today, but only because I paid for all of the bills for the cats. It seemed to get her back up a bit, which wasn’t my intention obviously. Said she paid her half before we broke up, and is going to continue. Makes sense I guess. The text didn’t sound like she’s that confused though. I haven’t replied.
I see three outcomes here. She’ll text to say it’s still over. I don’t think I’ll hear from her about this weekend. If I ask she’ll just say no.
So I think I won’t say anything. If I hear nothing, I may just travel to her house. Just turn up. Take my letter.
What do you think?
My texts were just casual, a continuation of the mood when we met. Nothing in return. She will only talk to me when I don’t say nice things. I don’t get it.
I don’t know what I’m thinking of doing honestly. Maybe I’ll send that message tonight.
The meeting was positive yes, it turned from a no to I don’t know. It’s just whether or not that’s enough. I am just going by what I feel, she seems to be thinking with her head.
I just think that’s she’s distancing herself again because getting back together isn’t what she really wants. I mean she said it enough when we met.
I definitely want to ask, but that may just push it down one route. I don’t think there’s much to ask I guess.
I’m in a bad way this evening. I just don’t get why she went back to being quiet after we met.
The conversation we had yesterday was so cold when I look at it. She said she was finding it ‘difficult’. That’s not confused.
I mean what is she avoiding me for? It makes me think she’s got something else starting, and I’m just getting strung along. Only replies to negativity. Makes it easy doesn’t it.
Take your mind off it man. The place you’re in now mentally won’t do you any favours. You have to accept that it’s over. Even if it isn’t. Work from there.
She still texts me three kisses too. Unfortunately it doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Try not to look for any signs in anything outside of meeting in person. She’s still meeting you. Great.
As I say, you should give her a chance to miss you. Meet her, then just take a few days for yourself. Nothing will happen in those few days. Rationalise it.
Do you feel like dating anyone right now? No. Nor will she.
My honest opinion? I have no idea my friend. But there’s a freedom in that. What I have learnt so far is that the people around us can’t tell us what we want to hear.
Some people I’ve spoken to have made lucky guesses, others have helped me make mistakes.
From the information you’ve told me though, yes I believe she still feels for you. Of course she would, it hasn’t been any time at all in the grand scheme of things.
You never did anything to harm her intentionally, or anything malicious. You weren’t a bad person. You had a problem, and you fixed it. You should be proud of that.
You saw her, and she recognised it. Achievement enough for now. Back to your life. Don’t slow down. You’re doing better than she is.
Here’s a mind twister. Forget the past. You are who you are now. All the things you’ve done and all the decisions you’ve made. The you of now never did those things, because you are not who you were back then. You are only the person you are right now, moment to moment. Tomorrow you will be someone entirely different again.
Believe me, I have stood on the very precipice of despair. In moments like these, words from others often do not help.
I won’t tell you to cheer up, because right now everything is fucked.
And that’s OK.
So, fuck it. Right?
You are only human, even if you don’t feel it.
Well, you’re talking to me.
Life is pretty shit in general isn’t it. Get back home.
Have a seat for a minute. Close your eyes, and experience what you’re feeling. Don’t fight it. Just exist in it. This too shall pass.
You have worth.
You are intelligent.
You matter to many people in this world.
To give up is to lose. Are you weak? You don’t seem like a weak person.
If you can, try not to anchor how you are feeling based on her. She is not, and never was responsible for your emotions. You are your own person, and you are a good person.
