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I’ll be cool when the day comes, but I’ll fight for it if I get the chance. Will have to wait and see what happens I guess. As you said, part of me thinks she wants me to fight for it.
Funny actually, I got Kevin’s automatic email about rebound relationships today, shook me right up.
How common do you think they actually are?
And what do you think about my situation?
The thing that throws me so much is that I’m trying to take it as over, but I don’t actually know if it is.
It’s an odd one though, because we can have a nice day sure, I’d like that. But where does that show any change?
Sounds like everything at your end is getting pretty exciting. Whatever happens it’ll be so good to see her in person!
I hope I get the same chance.
You’re right. I think I’m there to be honest, I keep having these moments of tranquility, but they are short lived. People keep making me re-live it I realise.
She liked my photo of one of our cats today.
I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t jump at a woman. I’m not that kind of guy at all, and I’ve always struggled to come to terms with how other people act that way. It took three months for her and I to get together, she even was going to give up on me just before I finally asked her out haha! She always said that was what she liked about me, I was different to other guys.
I think it’s what actually caused a lot of the problems in our relationship for me. I had difficulty understanding that she had a past before me for a long while. It was never an issue before she kissed someone else by mistake, then it grew like a tumour. I became obsessed with our sex life as a result too, caused a lot of trouble.
It is suffocating me. Work is very difficult, and the town is shit. Yeah I won’t send it down there. I’ll stick to the see how the day goes, then let her take it away with her, or open it wherever she likes. If we even get that far!
Oh and of course it’s not my business what she’s doing. It is however my business if she’s doing it with one of my friends. If that’s what is happening, I don’t think it is, but I’ll be paying a visit down there to make sure he can’t eat for a while and everything will be over with. One way to find peace I suppose.
This weekend is really draggin isn’t it! I ended up not going to work yesterday, the panic struck me for the whole day. I lament too much. Started reading Power Of Now, it’s helping already!
Any news on your end?
I’m tempted to just call her briefly this evening. Just be cool. I don’t text well I’ve realised. Just explain that I’ve been confused and I’d like to see her Sunday if she’s game. Simple.
Probably won’t though, will see how the mood takes me this evening. It’s just every time I hear from her I get so mixed up and anxious, and I realise now that’s it not because I’m sad. It’s because I’m not being honest with myself and her, and I keep doing things I don’t need to as a result.
You’re right Patrick. I need to give up in some respects. I realised today that over these two weeks I’ve just been digging a big hole. I haven’t been honest with her over these two weeks, out of fear. I could’ve been and was ready to the other week and it probably would have been ok, but I am where I am now. When I see her I’ll have to be as honest as I can, as for the past two weeks I’ve played all these stupid games which I didn’t need to. I took the information here somewhat incorrectly, and started hiding things from her in some ways.
I keep doing weird things and I don’t know why. I sent that text with the question in it, for some reason I said ‘last week’ when it’s been longer than that:
Hey. Yeah you’re right. Well the offer stands, we can have that easy day we talked about last week. Are you having a nice time in Portsmouth? Xxx
It’ll be ok I’m sure. It’ll have to be! I wanted to know if she’s in Portsmouth so I know where to send my letter. I think I’ll just give it to her in person. I don’t know if it’s full of half truths anyway, it’s not like me to do these things.
No reply from her yet. She always waits as long as it takes me to reply at least, if not longer.
Hey Patrick.
Thanks for the advice, it helped a lot. What if she’s doing the same thing though?
She text me back today:
Hey. I’m sorry I didn’t reply. I don’t think it would be fair on the others seeing as we haven’t even just seen each other. But yeah, I hope we can all hangout sometime. Hope you’re ok too. Xxx
What do you think? I don’t know what it means to be honest. I have written, but not sent:
Hey. Yeah you’re right. It’d be nice to see you, we can have that easy day we talked about. Are you having a nice time in Portsmouth? Xxx
They still smoke weed too, I used to but gave it up as it was no good for me. I don’t know how keen she ever was on me giving up, just because she still liked it. Just another reason I’d get replaced in my head.
How did you learn not to over-think things? It comes in waves, but I’m really stressing about this friend living in our flat. Either it’ll remind her of all our memories there, or it’s the perfect rebound situation surely. And with the coldness, and the brush off about Saturday I’m leaning towards the latter. We’re all good friends so I’d hope that wouldn’t happen, but this is the friend that had a go at me about her randomly.
I text today saying ‘I was asking yesterday, as I thought I could take some holiday and join in, depending on the day. Might be nice to hangout as a group again! Just a thought though. Sunday is fine too. Whatever’s easiest obviously, I hope you’re ok Xxx’
No reply. She’s not on her usual haunts online either, pretty sure she’s down there already.
I think I may even post it both places. Feeling crappy today, feel like she brushed me off pretty good. So many thoughts I can’t answer. If she’s going to Portsmouth for the week, why can’t she do Saturday? Feels kinda cold.
I’m sending the letter, it’s just where I’m sending it that’s the problem. I don’t know when she’s going to Portsmouth.
