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Sana, actually, another thing is, his behaviour sounds rather extremely abusive to me and I WOULD be careful about getting back with such a guy.
Consider this, we teach people how to treat us, and if you still want him back after such mistreatment, a negative pattern might start unfolding here, where he ‘might’ take you back and repeat this abuse because he’ll see you as, forgive the word, ‘cheap’.
Also consider this, I was speaking to one of my girlfriends over the weekend about a relationship she had when she was in Uni, a very long time ago, in which her boyfriend treated her badly and ended up marrying another girl with whom he had been cheating on her with. The boyfriend and the other girl went on to have two children, and the girl divorced him simply because he was probably a prat. My friend went ahead and met other guys and finally married someone else and they’re still together now with two children. She mentioned how looking back now, the ex did her a favour by the breakup, leaving her free to choose a better relationship for herself. This is someone who thought her world had come to an end at the time the relationship ended. Now, it’s completely different scenario. In fact, last time she saw the ex he was even asking her for money…
There’s so much more to life than meets he eye. So think this through… seriously. Is this what you really, really want? The way I see it, he must be apologising to you big time before you take him back. Otherwise, girl, cut your loses. Wait for someone else who’ll treat you much much better. Whenever you feel down, purposefully visualize the type of relationship you really really want and focus on going out to meet other guys who’ll help you achieve that.
I’m in a NC period myself, and it feels absolutely horrible… the void that one thinks only one person can fill. But it will pass. Going off now to take a doze of my own medicine… Your life awaits, and so does mine.
Sana,
This must be hard and I empathize with you. However, I echo the sentiments of those stated above, a lot of which are helping me myself as well, as I’m experiencing horrible emotions (not suicidal ones though).
As new as I am to this, I would still suggest an NC period. Find something to occupy yourself other than him. It’s painful I know, but do remember, a lot of women have been through this, and so have many men as well. Most survived so intend to survive and consider yourself a survivor. Forget the thoughts of death and think more of how to make your life much better…
