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Well you deserve somebody that is ready to sacrifice. His moving to his father place is not the reason for breaking up. He has other problems. It is difficult for you now. But I think that all hope is not lost. Do not and I repeat do not go to him for sex. How mean. He wants you to go and have sex just for his fun. Please. Try to rebuilf your life. Leave a tiny window for him if anyday he wants to be back. But focuss on your self. Am an anxious person so I understand how you feel. But I have realised that when you go through what you fear most at the end you are even suprised why were affraid in the first place. Do not be affraid to be alone. It will be alright. If he does not want your help then give to yourself. You don’t knox it you need comfort and care. You are precious see yourself as such. Nothing bad will happen you will only be happy and free. You will enjoy it. It will be well. Please let him be. It is extreme to threatened somebody you love with a restraining order. But at the same time he wants sex with you. How crazy.
I am from cameroon. I can clearly relate to you especially with the anxiety problem. My girlfriend and I separated just the same way as you and I did all the mistakes you did. It is about two months now. Though I still love her and have slight hope we could be together. I will not kill myself if it does not happen. I know I will love and love again. I read your story as a vistor and just had to reply to cheer you up. We people with anxiety are always seen as weaklings because we can’t hurt or be mean to people. Let me tell you it is good to be good and kind and attentive. If she does not need that now and wants to date some douche bags to have “experience” that is her call. She has no right to tell you what to be or do. It is all about her. How she want to be treated in the future and so on. please Have hope. You will love and love again. I CAN ASSURE YOU OF THAT. It may take sometime but you will fall on a great person. I am just wondering how you can even feel worthless. You know music, you know how to play games, you can drive , all that at 24. You are just amazing if I had ur skills I will be changing girls weekly. You just need to accept there is nothing u could do about it. It is normal you feel she was the one holding u. She is older and women are always more mature than men. I think you should realize that your happiness should not depend on somebody but on yourself. It is hard now but it will be better. The is not a dateline but trust me I can assure you it will be better. You said you have your grand parents. Try to find comfort in them. You have them. They will always love you unconditionally. Romantic love is good. But try to balance with family love. connect with old friends. I can assure you it will get better. You are extremely young. In fact when you start enjoying life you will even wonder how you became so happy. You need to give it time. I will advise stopping communication with her. It is only gonna hurt. I see you need to reach out. Trust me dl that with family. Do not stay alone. Cry with your grand parents. No shame in that they are old cannot laugh at you.I tell you “exploit” them. They have all the time.They will even be surprised you have been battling with this all alone. I see you very happy. Do not use a partner for motivation in the future. It is hard to find what you love but trust me you will. I almost resign from my programme in university but I was encouraged by my father. Today am a medical doctor and at very good at it. It is not your end. Feel free to Email me. I have so much connection to what you live now. You will be well. You will feel amazing excited fulfiled. You will be great. I can see being so happy in the future. And making a lady crazy witj love. Just hang in there keep hope. I hope I could play piano. I have tries just too hard and am too impatient. Looll. Cheer up man we are here if you need us
