[Arjun]

So if she reaches out then just basically leave her alone to suffer whatever she is going through with this guy?

What if she thinks I’m a total bitch and that I have changed :/ then what ?

Im scared that is going to happen

and woow you guys are amazing 🙂 thanks so much

[Arjun]

2 years

[Arjun]

yeah when she told me she misses me I felt good but I then straight away just said to myself that she doesnt miss me but she just misses my emotional support and my company

i don’t think she misses what we had.

When you say as long as possible, is that until I feel I am a better person or just as however long I can keep up with NC without breaking down ?

[Arjun]

so should I initiate 1 month NC again ? or just carry on until she reaches out?

Thanks

[Arjun]

no 🙁 she does ask me if theres anyone new in my life :/ why does she care? :/ i told her I’m taking it slow and she goes oh thats understandable.

So I should just ignore her no matter what she goes through.

Is it possible that her boyfriend doesnt give her the same emotional support as me which is why she keeps coming to me for emotional support ? which will ultimately keep her in the relationship because she isn’t aware that without me she basically has no support ?

[Arjun]

I know I offered support, by doing that I am basically comforting her and letting her know I’m still there for her right. Which is bad I’m guessing in this current situation right?

[Arjun]

That isn’t fair :/ that she is still asking for comfort from me but I ma just scared if she thinks I have changed for the worse after the break up. I just don’t want to rid the thought in her mind that getting back with me would be a bad idea.
She may think I don’t even care about her enough to want to get back with her.

Thats what Im scared of

[Arjun]

idk if thats a good thing to do

[Arjun]

What if she says what do I need so much time for? without making it seem as though I need time simply because I am emotionally effected from the break up.

So I should just let her suffer all the hardships with this relationship and not be there for her is what you’re saying?

Then in that case, she will just think I’m a total bitch and that the desire to get back with me will get weaker and weaker which is why I am ultimately confused.

[Arjun]

:/ need advice people 🙁

[Arjun]

I don’t want her to think I’ve changed for the worse and take this ignorance as a negative sign that I’ve become a different person in a bad way

[Arjun]

did you read the other post :/ the entire conversation actually ill just post it here

so she reached out to me a on Saturday saying:
‘Hey don’t Ignore me :(‘
‘You didn’t even reply to my other messages :'( :|’

I read these messages on Sunday and she then said ‘:|’ and I read that message to which she then said ‘You’re just being hella rude now’

I couldn’t take that the she was still reaching out to me so I had to just tell her that I asked for space. I asked why she is still popping up to me despite her telling me that she was alright with the whole needing distance and she replied ‘well I didn’t know it was this long’ so I replied ‘hmm well it’ll take quite a bit of time’ and she replied ‘well I miss you’, I then said ‘Im just accepting the break up tbh’ and she said ‘Yh I know’ ‘But I still miss you’

She eventually told me how she is stressed because her boyfriend doesnt know about her insecurities and that she’s scared how he is going to react. She told me how it was different for me and her because I knew her insecurities before we got together whereas with this guy she said that ‘He seems good with stuff he’s seen like my scars he was perfectly okay but what if he cant handle the fact that I’m still doing it or that I still feel the same’. I told her that if he handles it well then he’s good whereas if he doesnt handle it well then he’s clearly not good in the long run.

I then just ended the conversation and told her good luck so that she would reply and would have the last say.

I have no idea what I have to do from now onwards because the only reason that I gave her that advice was because at one point I was constantly saying how I was just accepting the relationship and how its her problems. She told me she feels like she lost one of her ‘fucking best friends’ I said I cant do anything because she is now her and I am me, we are no longer together. To which she replied ‘you’re just being a prick’ so I felt all defensive and had to be nice so that she wouldn’t have a bad image of me. I wanted to keep a positive image in her mind regarding what she thinks of me, I want her to think positive of me as opposed to being a ‘prick’ in her eyes.

What do I even do to get the power back in my court from now. :/ I am still working on myself but regarding working towards reconciliation whats next.

[Arjun]

Help 🙁

[Arjun]

I know its annoying that she told me but its not tempting to reply to her its annoying why she is still reaching out

She misses me :/ why is she telling me that :/

What if he accepts her and her insecurities and then there won’t be anything that will be negative about him by the sounds of it

[Arjun]

?

[Author]

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