[ariana5568]

I broke no contact again badly and I don’t know what to do. My ex and I broke up after 5.5 years of being together because I had way too much to drink one night and ended up cheating on him. We loved each other very much and we both started dating when we were 15 years old. I had never done anything like this before and have always been kind and loyal. I did not ever want to cheat on him or even think about it, but it happened when I was blacked out drunk and I felt so awful it made me sick and I was unsure on whether I should tell him or not, my worst fear in the world is to lose him. A few days later he found out in a really messy situation. His friends all were hating me and were saying really mean hurtful things to me and even went as far to vandalize some of my belongings that I left in his house, and he allowed this to happen. He was heartbroken, felt betrayed and was angry. This happened about a month ago now. For this whole month, he has been contacting me every day saying he loves me and then would go through emotions of anger randomly. About 2 days ago, this situation changed and he stopped texting me. I freaked out and lost all sense of what was right and I went to his house in hopes to talk to him but as I was walking in, I overheard him in the phone with a friend talking about how he had slept with another girl. I know this is wrong and I shouldn’t have gone to his house but I did. I went to talk to him and the conversation was really bad he screamed at me, accused me of stalking him, and said he needed space although he had never communicated to me that he needed space before that day, and had not even told me he actually wanted to be broken up. he had been contacting me saying he misses me every day and said he did not want anyone else and was making it seem as we would be together. So yesterday I was devastated and we didn’t talk at all for the first time since he found out about my cheating, and I thought I couldn’t screw up the situation any further but I did. Last night I found myself driving to his house again although I knew it was wrong. My excuse was that I needed my piano I had left there but it escalated and he screamed at me again and was saying he needed space to figure things out. I am now actually planning on doing no contact because I realized that I had made this situation 10 times worse. I am unsure on what to do right now I feel devastated, lost, empty, and alone and it’s so painful. Did I ruin all chances at getting him back? If I start no contact now can I have any shot? What are the correct steps I can take from this point on to try and win him back sometime in the future?

[Author]

Posts