Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Hi Sri, thank you for you help on my thread. I think that you may need to calm down. I know how hard it is. I know how hard it is to possibly be able to hack and account and not do it. But facebook tells the account owner that his account has been seen from another computer or a place where he wouldn’t usually log on in and he may get mad and it will make things worst. Also how can you live with yourself knowing that you have done something that he would not accept and not tell him? I speak for myself, I would feel bad for keeping something like that a secret from someone I loved, but then again that’s just me. You should go to NC, idk if you have done that yet or not but it feels as if you are still pressuring him. Hope for his well being, be kind and if you are having a hard time try to feel better on your own. I know it is tough but try to awaken his curiosity. Distant yourself and show how wonderful of a person you are and what he has left behind.
Thank you so much for all your responses. I really do appreciate the support and sympathy. Sorry for writing so much but I was looking into responding to all of you.
Thank you also for using a bit of your time to cheer up broken hearts when yours are broken as well. I am sure it mustn’t be easy. I hope to follow your stories as well.
Thank you so much for all your responses. I really do appreciate the support and sympathy. Sorry for writing so much but I was looking into responding to all of you.
@bat: I am not sure if I have that good a chance of getting him back as he seems really committed to his choice. On the other hand I think he acts by the moment and does not really make specific future plans for himself.
When he broke up with me I was in shock, I was not expecting it at all. We were always so close and had the best relationship. I was not capable of going to work, this was two months ago and my digestive system is still not functioning properly because of my anxiety. Now I get a lot of panic attacks and nightmares. I don’t think that I have ever been in a situation that has been so hard on my body and mind, it’s the most awful sensation I have ever had to live with.
He says that he may regret his choice but that that is life and it’s his burden to carry but that he does not love me like he used to and is not interested in being with me. He said that he feels a lot of affection and that I will always be very special to him and that he wanted me to be a part of his life in the sense that if there is anything I need that he will help me and he hopes that I will be there for him as well. If only I could choose…but as much as I would like to have him in my life, I am completely incapable of accepting him as a friend because I am in an extremely sensitive and emotional state and anything and everything he says or does, his posture with other girls or with his friends, my thoughts of him, everything hurts me, I am having a really hard time to accept it all, it’s too much. I am just too hurt and disappointed and it has been really tough on me. I haven’t even had the courage to tell the majority of my family yet.
I don’t think nor have I ever looked at our relationship as me being the mother type of girlfriend (God noooo!!very creepy..), the thing is, as a couple, I believe that it is important for each others goals to be clear so that they can fight for them together, and that’s what I was trying to get out of him. Deep down I guess I have always been scared of him giving up on me. I think planning is relatively important to have a glimpse of what you want in life and I never understood how you can live your life on a daily basis without preparing your future or whatever you want in life. I guess that’s just the type of education each person receives. I do think he is immature to an extent even though he is very mature for other things. But I feel like he wants to live his adolescent years, now. Maybe because we started dating at an early age and he may feel like he has not enjoyed life sufficiently? He was a really laid back guy and now he discovered how fun it is to hangout with friends and is enjoying himself to the fullest.
Other than that I think your pretty much right. About him still being vague about what he wants in life, no clue of the future, ambitious, goals…To be honest I am not entirely convinced that he will travel the world as a lifestyle, I can’t picture him going through extreme situations because of financial shortage for example, but at this point who knows! I’ll believe in anything.He says that he is not looking into being in a relationship but that does not mean that it won’t happen or even have some fun with close girl friends, but just the thought of him being with someone else kills me because I am his first and it was a great relationship! It probably wouldn’t be bad because if they did not turn out right maybe he may regret what he has done, but what if they are better then me? But despite this and all other fact I do think that he needs his space and who knows maybe think that he gave up on someone who was extremely caring for him? (even though at the moment I really doubt it). He wants to live a different type of life for now, I get it. I have eliminated him from Facebook on Saturday after a scene which made me very upset. He noticed and just said “I feel as if it is too bad this but it’s your choice”. I have not answered as I feel anxious just thinking about this or having to explain myself or even expressing my pain. He sent me a message today as I am in Portugal at the moment for vacation. He said “when you want to talk let me know, I want to be with you before you go, when you are free let me know…”. I have not told him that I am going into NC but to be honest I feel like answering him and saying that I have nothing to talk to him about and ask him what he wants from me. NC will be easy once I am gone but it will be important for me because the pain in to much for me to handle and I really have to be careful for my health’s sake.
He is not really going through the same loss as I am. He is only sad because he knows that I am hurt but other than that he is happy, is more social, is going out and having fun and is not suffering. I love him and I want him to be happy but I am feeling very depressed because of this. If NC, I am sure he would wonder how I am and think of me but to be honest it would have to be like a 3year NC. One month won’t resolve anything since he has grown tired of the relationship and wants to “enjoy life”, in the mean time I would hopefully feel less attached and in love (which I think is a shame). Many women take years to forget “the love of their life”, others never forget. I hope not to carry this pain.
@Sri: I have started NC very very recently and I have not told him anything, I just did it. If you see my comment on top you will see that he has noticed that I cut relation with him but I still find myself sneaking to his profile even though I unfriended him on Facebook. It’s a process, I guess. I am doing NC for him so that he can live his life the way he feels happy, but mostly for me because the pain and the consequences that it is having on my body are really wearing me down. I am sure NC helps. I feel sad that it makes your forget about your feelings, or maybe it won’t, but I am sure it helps. I just have to find the courage to let go and that is what is killing me the most.
@dreamweaver0885: It has almost been two months since he has left me, it is very hard, I have horrible depressing days, and then I have “a little bit better days” but it has been very hard. Thank you so much for your compliment, it made me feel good but I think I am defected now. I do not trust for life, I don’t think of marriage anymore, what is the point if you will suffer this much? It’s too much. I will be more scared to commit because I don’t want to get hurt.
He meant a lot to me but he didn’t love e as much as I loved him in the end. And that really hurts. I have done it all, begged, pity, I feel like I am crazy because of my emotional mood swings, one second I am telling him that I want him to be happy because I love him, and the next I am crying desperately because I don’t know what to do. I think that I really did not deserve that he hurt me but then again, I guess it isn’t his fault that he fell out of love for me even though I can’t understand a reason why because I think I am and always have been so respectful and caring to him.
I have tried not to care but it is hard, I have isolated myself but I have been trying to keep my mind busy, he pops into my mind every day, it’s the saddest thing. I am not hopeful that he will want to be with me especially because if he has made his choice it’s because he has thought of it before making it, but I will always have hope for nothing, it’s almost like I am hurting myself.Thank you all for using a bit of your time to cheer up broken hearts when yours are broken as well. I am sure it mustn’t be easy. I hope to follow your stories as well.
