Wont she be mad when I reach out to her?

[Arjun]

So during NC I am supposed to be ignoring my ex gf and she will get angry and annoyed that I’m just reading her messages and not replying.

My question is that when I then finish my NC and reach out to her won’t she be angry because I am saying hello so casually after so long? Won’t she say something like “so when I want to talk to you then you ignore but when you want to talk to me then you expect me to reply straight away” ?

Won’t she start ignoring me because I had been ignoring her the entire months?

Thanks

[mike2014]

That’s why you are supposed to say something to the point of, I need some time to myself to think about things and work on myself. I beleive it says that directly in the 5 step plan.

[Arjun]

yeah but I have said that and she still says hello and stuff to me which is why I’m asking and besides even if you do tell her and she obliges she will still say hello to you and expect a reply

[mike2014]

Well then talk to her or ask her what her intentions are. If you asked her for space and she doesn’t want to give you that ask the questions. People act like this stuff is an exact science or something. You have to do what’s best for your situation.

[mike2014]

And if you do tell her and she OBLIGES then that would mean she would give you space and not contact you.

If you told her you wanted space and she still contacts you either tell her you want space again and that she should respect that or just talk to her. If your in NC and she texts you that she wants you back are you going to say nothing cause you are in NC?

[Arjun]

well you are meant to ignore her so yh

[mike2014]

If she contacts you she wants to get back you would ignore her?
If you want her back and she contacts you to date again I would highly recommend taking her up on that if you want to be with her.

The point on no contact is for two reasons…

1 to work on yourself and make yourself a better person so you can prepare yourself to move on.

2. It also works to give your ex space to get over the bad that ended the relationship and get her over that emotionally. At some point in the NC she might realize what she is missing which is you and want to reach out to get back together

Every situation is different is what you need to understand. This is NOT a fool proof system that always works. She will still have to make a decision to get back with you, you can’t make someone get back with you. If she is talking to you now that could be a good sign for you. You have to decide to either tell her you still need space or keep it cordial and friendly which could lead to her wanting to get back. If you do talk do not bring up the break up or anything that went wrong. At some point if you talk to her and it drags on you probably should ask her what her intentions are with her continuing to contact you. You don’t want to keep talking to her and not know if you are just friends and that’s all she wants. To talk or not has to be a decision you make based on how you feel because you know your ex better than I do or anyone on this site.

Best of luck

[Author]

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