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Have you read through the articles about NC and such? Start doing the things in those articles. Things like focusing on yourself, exercising, staying busy, etc. will help get your mind off of your ex and help you to calm down. You will also build up your own self-esteem and confidence.
If your ex is mad, so what? Guys can be such big babies sometimes. If he wants to be angry let him, do your NC and have some fun, live your life. Him being angry, overreacting, and doing immature stuff says everything about him, but not you. It isn’t your fault and you shouldn’t have to apologize for his behavior.
I am just so scared that he will forget about about me. He has deleted me on facebook, but unblocked me though. There has been some back and forth in our relationship due to his depression, we broke up for three weeks (the longest break up) before christmas, but got back together the 16 of december, and now he just blew up over nothing. I am terrified that I am the only one that is sad about this.
I am also terrified that he will move on and find someone else right away. Or that he will start sleeping with that girl he slept with the last time we wore broken up, and find out that she is someone worth trying a relationship with. I think about him all day, is he thinking about me?
His birthday is this saturday, last year he turned 30 and I gave him a trip to France for the tow of us. I bought him a gift a fe weeks ago, just a small special thing this year, but what should I do about it? Should I congratulate him on his birthday? I am just so scared that the girl he had slept with once during our last break up will congratulate him and stuff, and that he will feel closer to her when I don`t give him attention on his birthday. He said on the phone that he was celebrating with his family and eating tacos. He has his son this weekend. I feel obsessed with what he is doing all the time, especially when we are not friends on facebook anymore.
We have a great relationship and have so much fun together. We have been through a lot over the last 2,5 years. And I really do not want to give that up. I am so scared that he does not see us together anymore. There has been some though struggles due to his mentally issues that he is struggling with. The conversation we have on monday when he called was as our normal conversations, and not normal due to all the things that went down over the weekend. He is not saying straight out that he is cutting me out for good, but at the same time it feels that way. Do you think there will be any chance of us to get back together? I really feel that he is the love of my life, I have felt that way since I met him.
He isn’t going to forget about you anytime soon. Don’t let that worry you. If he finds someone else right away, it’s a rebound. He can’t move on that quickly, it’s just not possible. Try not to think or worry about that either, don’t drive yourself crazy.
He is no doubt thinking about you. You two were in a relationship for some time, you can’t just turn it off and forget.
NC means NC. I wouldn’t contact him for his birthday or send a gift, nothing. You two are broken up and you have to treat it that way. He will probably be expecting you to reach out for his birthday, and when you don’t he will, no doubt, wonder what is going on with you. If some other girl wishes him happy birthday it isn’t going to make him fall in love with her either. Don’t worry about that.
Him not saying straight that you are cut out could be his way of trying to keep you around in case he changes his mind. BUT always look at what someone does versus what they say. That is the best advice in the entire world that someone gave me and it holds true in every situation, not just romantic relationships.
Right now your top priority is you. What have you been doing with your time? Have you started working on yourself and doing things for you? I know you are feeling awful. We’ve all been through it here. The only one who can make this any better for you is yourself though. You have to be your own savior right now. Trust the process, give it time, and eventually you will start to feel better. Promise.
I have tried to work on myself. I am studying at the university and I have a daughter who is 3,5 years. So I have been out playing in the snow with her a couple of times, I have also been out for a walk. But I have no energy. All I wanna do is to sleep, but I can’t, and it’s hard. I miss him so much. I am used to taking to him everyday. And it’s really hurtful that he deleted me on Facebook. Is that to forget me? He did it in the heat of the moment, he did unblock me, but he doesn’t seem interested in being friends on Facebook. I can’t help but feel that I did something wrong even though I know I didn’t. I just feel so lost. When I think about him and other girls I get this awful stomach pain, and I just want to lay down. I will not contact him on his birthday then, and hold on to his gift for another time. He knows I have a present for him, I told him a few weeks back. I am so scared that things won’t work out. That he doesn’t think of me like that anymore. I feel him not saying that he is cutting me out completely is because he might be scared of losing me completely. But I don’t know, his action doesn’t show it though. It just feels like he is trying to forget me when he can’t be friends with me on Facebook. I just feel like a lost case. I have been through so much with him. We have battled cancer together, I have layed beside him in the hospital bed when he has recievd chemotherapy. I have been there for him all the way. Month after months in the hospital. 1,5 years ago he gave me this love ring in white gold with a little diamond on it for mye birthday. I have worn it ever since, never taken it off. I know he spent a lot of money on it. Should I take it off or what should I do?
It sounds like you have some great things going on in your life. 🙂 Going to university is awesome, and you have your little girl. Two very cool things! Great job on getting out to play and going for a walk. Little things like that add up. Even if you can only manage to do one thing like that a day it will help.
I went through similar things when I had my breakup. Couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, just thought about the most awful stuff and situations all day long. It will get better with time and the NC does help with that too. As a recommendation, if you have trouble sleeping at night, I took Zzzquil for a couple weeks after the breakup and it helped me sleep. You can also take melatonin, it’s all natural and will do the same thing.
I don’t think he deleted you on fb to forget you. It seems more like an immature reaction because he was angry, and especially since he took it back so soon afterwards. I think he isn’t adding you back as a friend because of his pride. Most men are like this and will feel like they have to stick to their decision even if they start to feel differently. I wouldn’t think too much of it right now. It might be a good thing, you both need some space, and after him being so angry he needs time to cool off.
I think you sound like a good woman and he has been lucky to have you. I think he has taken the relationship and you for granted and not appreciated what he had. A lesser woman would have left after all the hardship you two went through. I commend you on that, I can tell it wasn’t easy.
For your ring, what do you want to do? If it makes you think of painful memories to wear it, then take it off and put it away someplace. If you still enjoy it and think happy things from it, then you can still wear it. It’s totally up to you, do what you feel is best. 🙂
Thanks for the advice on the sleeping stuff. I will check that out. It’s really hard to fall a sleep even though that is all I want. I keep thinking and thinking about alle kind of awful things. I go over and over the break up situation all the time and I try to figure out how I could have done things differently in order to prevent that situation. But I know it wasn’t my fault, it just truly feels like it. I know I screwed up to, but they way he did things and the reaction he had just makes me feel that he does not have any feelings for me, and that he doesn’t like me anymore. The week before I have showed some insecurities, but not in a bad way. No one is perfect all the time. I am just killing myself over and over about the situation, I just can’t relax. I think about him all day and wish that he would call me or text me. I just can’t understand that after everything we have been through he is willing to throw it all away like this? I was really there for him through the cancer. He almost died, and he was very ill at times, but I was there, being strong for him. I go to university and I work as a teacher, for his birthday last year I got him a trip to France as he turned 30 and had survived cancer. It was such an amazing trip, we had so much fun. Can it be like that again? I really do miss him and feel so lonely without him. I have read the relationship rewind, and I don’t feel that we are at deaths door, but somewhere in the middle of situation 3 and 4 (which is deaths door). I don’t know what to think. My ex is a phone person, he loves to talk on the phone and he loves to send messages. I don’t know if a hand written letter would work on him, since he I such a phone person. I really wish we could be friends on Facebook, it’s just sad that he had to do it like this. I am so scared that he hates me or don’t have any feelings left for me.
I haven’t spoken to my ex since Monday, he called me and we spoke for like 15 minutes. Before that I had not spoken to him since Friday night when he blew up and broke it off. I am devastated. I don’t know how I am going to keep up the no contact. And if he would actually miss me during this time or just move on. I am scared to contact him, cause what if he don’t pick up or is still mad. I had a moment earlier where I believed that this will work out, because it has work out so many times before. And then I just get this devestating feeling that this time it won’t. He has never deleted me on Facebook before, I just feel it’s a sign, I don’t know. I am laying here crying my eyes out. Wondering what he’s doing, who he’s talking to and if he thinks about me at all.
I just feel that he is a quick mover. So I am scared he has already moved on or starting to.
How do you all cope? I read all this horrible stories here, and I am freaking out. I am so scared and devastated at the same time 🙁 what if it could never work again?
I am freaking out, I can’t stop crying. What if he doesn’t miss me or thinks about me. And his already talking to another girl. I just can’t handle the thought of this not working out.
It’s impossible to forget those things hon. Believe me. I’ve had some nasty falling outs before with friends and I still remember them to this day and miss them. And these are people from over 10 years ago! If you two shared a special, intimate bond, as many of us have, it’s even more strong and cannot be forgotten so easily. Take a few deep breaths, close your eyes, and count to 10 while drawing the numbers mentally.
I’ve found that either doing that, or sitting/laying down and focusing on your inhale/exhale, your heart beat, feeling your heartbeat, and the air moving through your nose will calm your brain down. People can only focus on 3 or 4 things at one time, so this should help.
I just cant handle the thought of him moving on to someone else. I know he has his son from today until sunday, he told me on the phone on monday. But after that he will be free to date everyday the next couple of weeks except one day each week before he gets his son again the weekend after that. I feel like a wreck thinking about him already with another girl. And I cant help but think that this is not going to be fixable this time. And I really really want it to be. On monday is still seemed that he was interested in maybe working it out in the future, but at the same time not. And him deleting me on facebook in anger because he was jealous just feels like he wants to cut me out and just forget about me.
Am I the only one sitting around being sad and miserable? Is he sad or does he just think he is better off? We have been through so much. I just want to call him all the time. We talk a lot on the phone, so not talking to him is painful. And if I do try to contact him one day, I am scared that he will not answer.
NC will help you to feel less upset. When you talk to him it opens up all of the emotions and keeps you in high gear. I know it seems counter intuitive, especially when you want to speak to him so badly, but you need the breathing room right now, especially since you are in a panic/fear state. It’s like your ex is a drug, and you need to break the addiction. You also want to give your ex time to miss you and think about you, which you can’t do if you keep talking.
I know how you are feeling because I went through all the same emotions and thoughts too. I know it feels like these thoughts will never end, but they do. Really.
I know it’s hard but try not to read too much into the fb thing. If he wanted to cut you out and forget about you, he would have left you blocked. He called you on Monday, if he wanted to forget you, he wouldn’t have done that.
Even the dumpers are sad and upset about a breakup. Even if they try to put on a happy face and date or whatever, they are still going through some hurt and sadness too. Most of them will never tell you or admit to it though.
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