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Hi,
I’ve been going through NC for only a couple days now. I tried to maintain NC before that but didn’t make it through very far. I’ve been broken up with my girlfriend now for almost four weeks. I’m trying incredibly hard not to contact her. She was my best friend and the person I would go to when things got rough. This will be by far the longest we have not talked in around 4 and a half years. It’s very difficult to not want to seek help from her. I’ve never been this emotionally unstable and she’s always been the one I would go to for help. Not having her for this tough time just makes it worse. Does anyone have any recommendations or advice on getting through NC? I still have weeks left and thoughts creep in all the time. I applaud all those who have accomplished this feat because as of now it’s about the hardest mission I’ve ever attempted to do. Please any advice or comments would greatly be appreciated and thank you for taking the time to help.
let’s see.. i survive and continue to survive no contact by working out, reading, walking outside, volunteering somewhere (i picked a local animal shelter), being with friends and family. is there a new hobby you’ve been wanting to pick up? it’s important to keep moving. sitting around just made me think about him even more.
for the first couple weeks it’s really hard because you can’t stop thinking about an ex. you are now working on filling a void that once belonged to them. the best advice i received was to go through you emotions, don’t push them aside. if you are angry go for a run. if you are sad, write about it. work through your emotions in healthy ways.
stay strong and positive!
I like to work out and that helps considerably but unfortunately I have minimal access to the gym nearest me. I haven’t tried much reading much besides sites like this. They help too but sitting at my computer all the time isn’t great either. I have a new book coming soon that hopefully I can get into. I’ve relied a lot on my friends. More than I ever thought I would. Most of things I usually do to get away aren’t working. New hobbies and maybe some volunteering would probably do me good. My emotions run and change constantly. For once I can’t push them aside, I’m forced to deal with them. That’s the hardest part. To get your mind off things, it’s almost impossible. Thank you for the advice and I hope all goes well on your end too!
if you aren’t close to a gym, i suggest walking to be outside. during my initial days of no contact my legs literally felt like cement, like every step was so hard to take. but each step got easier over time.
anything you can do to help cope and take your mind off of it. not sure which country you live in or how old you are, but i’ve read someone’s breakup story once and they started to go to meetup.com to meet new people that shared her hobbies.
today i looked into taking a photography class, so i’m sure i will sign up.
it’s hard, but not impossible! we did have lives before our exes, right?
Not impossible is right, but it’s for sure hard. It’s been over a week now since I replied. It has gotten slightly easier but by no means is it easy. I did do some reading and that works pretty well. I’m starting to focus more on what will happen after no contact. Trying to get a plan together.
I haven’t contacted her and she hasn’t contacted me. I’m not sure if I’m surprised or not. I wondered if she would try and contact me, but I guess the no contact isn’t over yet. Interestingly enough we have a mutual who she has been friends with longer than me. Around 7 years in fact. He tried to contact her but she won’t reply to him. He had no part in the breakup either.
Unfortunately, I have been sick recently. I’ve spent the last few days in bed trying to recover. I hope things are going well for you and you’re making good progress. If we’ve made it this far, nothing can stop us now.
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