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@confused girl
I believe he is still interested! You just need to relax
@confused_girl I am in a similar position to you at the minute. My Ex has had at least one rebound relationship that she let me know about and I believe that she had another prior to the one that she let me know of.
Her most recent rebound ended during my last NC period and up until the last week or so it seemed like she was really warming to the idea of us getting closer again.
I am now fearing that she is on the brink of another relationship from her recent more distant behaviour and her telling me that she had planned a vacateion over New Year, which later changed to the first weekend in January.
Up until this evening she has had a good few days of distancing herself from me and some of my messages but had been online talking to other people a hell of a lot, or perhaps just reading my messages and playing games with my emotions? I was hoping that we had got past that stage though.
I sent her a goodnight message early last night (by 10pm) which she responded to and then went to bed. She responded after 15 mins but I didn’t go back online. I noticed this morning when I woke that she jad been online at just before 3am. Of course that gets my mind working overtime and she probably knows it. I sent her a good morning message and told her that I’m always here if she wants to talk at 10ish this morning. I haven’t heard from.her all day and she hasn’t been online since 7pm when I checked before writing this message to you. It has just gone 00:20hrs here.
I think that I need to stop worrying and see what happens over the next few weeks or so. Try not to over react to anything, as I know she still likes me a hell of a lot, she says that she wants to see me again at some point but I get the impression that she isn’t ready for it and is scared of me hurting her further. She keeps dropping hints that she isn’t going anywhere to me.
I am naturally impatient and this is really a test for me and I think she knows it. She feels that I have been hot and cold with her too as I get upset and we have fallen out with eachother every 4 to 6 weeks since I dumped her in June.
I need to be more patient with her if I hope to win her back I guess?
I need to be more patient. @sparky do you have any advice for me? And words of encouragement?
@confused_girl I think that you are doing really well. I really do think that you hold a strong hand (if this were a game of cards). While there are no guarantees your Ex still likes you a lot, he hasn’t ruled out a possible reconciliation and he still wants you to remain in his life, yes?
Like me I think you have to prepare yourself for the worst but remain focused on the positive. It’s very difficult I know. Each time I think that things are going well I expect another kick in the balls, when I am often expecting the worst I am pleasantly surprised.
I think altering the amount of contact that you have with your Ex is the way forwards for you. Try to reward his good behaviour and have fun conversations with him when he is having good contact with you. Send the odd random gesture but lower your contact with him considerably during the times when he is quiet.
Set some boundaries for yourself and any new friendship or relationship with your Ex and when you are getting on well together try to discuss these.
I don’t know if it was your messages that I was reading before? But certainly don’t let your Ex use you for sex if he is not willing to date you again and win you back first. Take your time.
Yes that was mine. But after he told me that, he said his rebound was over and she led him on
@confused_girl Yes I thought that was you 🙂
So what exactly happened between your Ex and his rebound then? Who finished with who and does any of that matter to you?
The rebound that my Ex GF told me about was never a potential good relationship from what my Ex told me about it. She expressed doubts about it when she first told me about it (just two weeks in) and told me that the connection just wasn’t there for her that she shared with me. I went on a 25 day NC a couple of weeks later and she dumped the guy she had been seeing during that time she told me.
The rebound that I think she had prior to that got quite serious (I know of the guy but she claimed he was just a friend). They had some big arguements about 6 weeks or so in to their relationship I think as this guy had been putting pressure on her to stop all contact with me, which she declined to do (she did tell me about this bit and it fits in with what was happening between me and her at the time). He then turned nasty towards her and her daughter online and has made a mischief of himself numerous times since. I even got the finger of blame pointed towards me by this guy over what she was doing and she nearly believed him and fell for it.
I would never do that kind of thing towards anyone, least of all someone who I have been in love with. Love is special for me and if I love someone then part of me will always love that person.
I don’t know and I really don’t care. I knew she wasn’t worth a penny from the start. I knew he was mistaken the whole time
Sorry i just awake. My day is getting harder and harder. But i do my best. Well, i think my bf is an honest person in terms of update. I dont know. When we were together, he didnt update that much. But when with her, even she wrapped her arms around him, he will update about it! Sigh. I wish he could realize that he makes me hurt so much even he didnt mention about his gf at ne (of course, he didnt text me at all) im tired of trying and hoping that he will be unhappy and always fight with her. And then get back to me. But i dont know. Less than one day will be new year here.
How u guys been doing?
@aryyan I need help. I’ve been crying off/on alllll day. I’m going crazy
He hasn’t hardly snapchatted anyone….ugh. I just want him mine again. I know he still cares deep down. I need help
@confused_girl I know what you mean about nit caring about the rebounds your Ex had. I feel the same hence my emphasis on talking about the future with her and not the past.
It’s difficult when you know that they still care deeply about you but they seem unwilling or unable to let you help them isn’t it? I am sure that you will get the opportunity to talk things through with your Ex when he is ready. Just try and stay strong while reminding him you are still there for him as a friend every so often.
@aryyan Is that a conversation you could have with your Ex? Ask him who he is trying to impress with his constant updates about his new relationship? Does he honestly believe anyone is that bothered other than perhaps you? If he refuses to knock that kind of public flaunting of his new relationship on the head is that really the type of guy that you wìsh to be with? It shows a total lack of empathy in my opinion. Sometimes we have to be tough and point out the things that our partners or ex partners do that upset us. It might not get the results you are looking for straight away but if they are good people then they will see what you were saying and respect you more for it when they are ready.I’m still struggling. I sent her a goodnight text last night and she responded with a nice message after 15 mins. I woke up yesterday morning and noticed that she had been online just before 3am. I sent her a good morning message abot 10am but didn’t hear back from her all day. She hasn’t been online since 7pm last night (that’s now nearly 8 hours) I noticed when I went online just before midnight.
I am now slightly worried about her as I think that she could be suffering from another “low episode” as she calls it of depression. She hinted as much about a week ago. Perhaps she has been talking to a friend online and is going away to see a friend only and she is just telling me the basics as she wants to test me.and see if my behaviour will change drastically? I do hope so because from the messages that she currently sends me it comes across like she is closer to me than she has been since the first few weeks after I ended our relationship. I could be wrong though and I have also seen signs that I have seen just before trouble in the past.
Keep your head held high @aryyan You come across like a great girl!
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