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Posts
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Saying that it hurts like hell when an Ex you are still in love with tells you that they are seeing someone else, even if they try to ensure you that their new relationship isn’t serious.
@confused_girl I wish that I could cry more. I have really struggled to cry over this relationship.
I wish that I could. Something tells me that I won’t until I hit rock bottom, but I have been hurting so much that people can see it in my face. I just struggle to shed tèars for some reason and I don’t know why. I am usually quite an emotional guy.
Yes it hurts. I know. But for me…At least she tells you that. And the purpose of she is telling you about that thing it not serious means she still care about u and she didnt want u to think that she is wrong (unfortunately she is)
Just cry everyone :(( we want our ex and love our ex. Seeing them so hot and cold, ignore, has someone else and see them so much happy while us here feel the pain…i dont know but i believe…things will be better soon. Not now. Let them (our exes) feel “happy” or updating about their life… Pray hopefully…they will realizrd pur efforts…
@aryyan What do you mean by unfortunately she is (wrong)?
I know that she still cares about me a lot. She has told me so and given many other things away while trying not to.
I just don’t know if she will ever let us spend.proper time with eachother again or not.
The way that she has behaved since the split points to her wanting to find someone else but remaining friends with me. I was hoping that this phase had passed and she would realise that she was not going to find somebody else like me easily.
I’d love to give it another 6 months but I need to draw a line in the sand somewhere if she doesn’t provide me with the opportunity to spend some time with her. It is now 6 months since we split. How much longer should I realistically give it?
she thought she can find someone else to replace you and happy without u but with someone else that not like you as soon as possible. But unfortunately she cant find it right away. So she doesnt want u to think that her moved on is wrong. Did u get what i mean?
I think @sparky u need to be a bit further. How to say…i means since u dumped her and u want her back but she seems like ignore u, it shows that she expext u more in action rather than just words i think?
@aryyan Well the only time that I have seen my Ex since we split was in August when I visited her without letting her kniw that I was coming. This freaked her out and I get the impression that she was in her first rebound relationship that she didn’t tell me about at the time and was perhaps upset that I might have caught her out. That’s what I think but it might not be the case.
On that visit she asked me if she could see me the following day but never did. We had a.big falling out as I was messaged by a male friend of hers which really got my back up seeing as I had been drenched in the rain and sat in a pub. She told me that she nevwr wantwd to speak to me again that day. This was due to her having her head filled with loads of poison about me by her so called friends.
I sent her and her daughter some Christmas presents in the post against my better judgement and was intending to do the same fir her daughters birthday in January.
I have tried to arrange to spend some time with her when it is mutually convenient and this has been asked in a non threatening jokey way as well as in a serious manner.
What other actions do you suggest that I make? I currently live in a different town approx 120 miles from her so it’s not easy.
Sigh. She is very tough person. I think you did a lot of things to make her surprise and all. But it seems like she is trying to be tough and want you to know that she is not easy to be throw away and get her back. She seems very bery hurt. Is your breakup really bad between you two?
The letter also mentions that you are ready to let go and no she did not reply 🙁
@aryyan I didn’t view our break up as bad at all no. I never cheated on her or anything like that. I just expressed doubts about her intentions towards me and ended it. I immediately thought that I had made a mistake and tried to win her back.
Now this will make me sound awful but I had been living with another woman for 3 years and was still living with this woman when I started to get involved in a relationship with my Ex. My Ex GF knew about this from before we started seeing eachother as I had known my Ex for years and so when she made contact with me for the first time in a couple of years or so I was 100% honest with her and told her that I was living with another girl but that the relationship with this girl had been dead for some considerable time.
My Ex claimed that she was ok with this and started seeing me about 10 months later.
The truth was that my Ex was never ok about this and I was a naive fool for believing her. Each time I visited her she believed that I was going home to a full blown relationship and my Ex believed that she was just my bit on the side. That was never the case but when I tried to explain that she thought even worse if me and had me down as some kind of serial user.
It’s difficult to explain but we both had problems. My Ex’s problems meant that I was unable to move in with her as she claimed that she wanted. She is still working on her issues now and I moved out from the other girl who I was living with and told her about my Ex GF in June (a couple of days after I’d had the the bust up that ended things with my Ex).
We both agreed when we spoke about this the other week when I said that I should have waited as I felt that looking back in hindsight neither of us was ready for a relationship at that time. My Ex said that perhaps we did rush and something about us both not being to help ourselves though, as the feelings were too great. I agreed with her.
See I told you that it made me sound awful, but I have only used one girl in 41 years on this planet and that was in the relationship that I felt trapped in with the previous partner to the girl that I am trying to win back. I have admitted to my Ex that I used this ine girl and that I hated myself for it.
My Ex was worried that I was going to use her and said that the trust had gone. I ended both relationships in 36 hours and lost my home. Throughout this I told my Ex that it was her that I wanted and I just feared that she wasn’t committed to our relationship.
I’ll get my coat! lol
@aryyan You are spot on with this I think…
“But it seems like she is trying to be tough and want you to know that she is not easy to be throw away and get her back.”
My Ex said as much when she was angry with me a good few months back. That I thought that I could stomp on her and break her heart and then just carry on as if nothing had happened. She also said something like “don’t cross me ****” followed by my name.
I think that she has set out to not make it easy for me to win her back most definitely.
Ohhh u did send it to her?? Did she read it yet?
Ohhhh!!! No wonder!! Of course she will be very very very tough on this because u used to be a bit tough and sounds like aweful to her back in time. Sighhh but u did your job to be 100% honest with her but when it comes to hard time, u did agreed with her. U didnt put your efforts to fight for it that time and get your coat. Lol. Ahhhhh now i do understand! Yes for this case, she is deffiiinately dont trust u at all for fighting for her. She is completely doubt in you thats why she tried to put some a little game here to see whether u chased her harder than before. U hurt her. She needs assurance she needs more. But at the same time she reallky scared and try to be tough.
@aryyan So what should I do now do you think?
I am not sure how many more games or prospective rebound relationships I can cope with. She has told me that it upsets her that we struggle to keep talking for longer than a few weeks but whenever I make the effort to and try to leave the past behind us it seems like she has yet another new game for me to play.
I feel that she isn’t eeady still and perhaps will never be able to open up and let me close again, despite some of her kind words.
Perhaps I will get a chance to see her again in or after March? I don’t want to go in to what they are but hopefully some of her problems will ease in the first few months of next year and we can look at getting back on track a bit.
I know that I have to take things slowly and that I will not be given another chance for a while yet.
I think that I just have to hope that she will not find someone else she really likes and that she will soon get sick of the games that she has been playing. I thought we had maybe reached that stage a couple of weeks ago but I now believe that I am set for at least another few months of it.
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