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My ex gf and I were together for 5 years. We met at 17 now we are 23. Anyway, it was great at first, but we got complacent in the relationship. Mainly me. Problems started to arise, but we just brushed them off for the sake of staying together. We broke up January of 2018 but hung around each other like an unofficial couple for a whole year. That whole time I thought we were slowly getting back. But I was just delusional. Looking back with hindsight, she was actually moving on. I was oblivious to the red flags. I probably could’ve salvaged it but I was too scared to bring it up thinking id scare her off.
So this April, once the red flags were too obvious and hurtful to ignore. (She had started to become hot and cold, flaked on dates and gave bs excuses, would take hours to reply). Anyway it escalated to the point she openly said she was going on a date with someone else, the day we were on a date. My dumbass didn’t believe her because she said it so nonchalant. The day comes and she ignores me all day. Finally replies after the date was done. She asks me “what does it mean if I called him by your name?” “Did I make the mistake of leaving you?”. Naturally I get in my feelings and took it as a sign. In complete desperation and fear of losing her. I professed my love. She rejected me. Even up to the last date, she’d say she loved me. So I was devastated and confused.
She still wanted to be friends after the rejection, but told me, I’m important to her. That I’m a great guy and she’d hate for me not to be in her life. But that it wouldn’t work between us. It was too late to rekindle, she didn’t feel the spark anymore. I refused to believe that though. Her cousin, which I was friends with before her, said she talked to my ex about the situation. She confirmed that she did go on a date and had possibly been talking to him for a little while. A week after the talk, I decided to go no contact.
It’s been 3 weeks since, and I’ve been trying to follow the book but it’s hard. I haven’t spoken to her since I started. However, 3 days into NC, she snapped me, dm’d me, and even texted. I panicked and thought it was way too early for me to reply. I can’t see what the dm or snap are because I still haven’t opened them. But the text was of no significant matter. Her cousin contacted me, stating my ex was pissed off I’d have the balls to ignore her. She made it seem she felt like the victim. My ex started to try and get my attention. By posting a lot more, and following more people, mainly dudes. She’d post she was out getting manicures, shopping and going out to eat with a mystery person. Made sure to include the second plate but never the person. I fell into the petty game and started posting I was out too. But then I stopped viewing her stories. Since then she has not tried to reach out to me and I’m worried I pushed her away. Towards the arms of the other dude. Maybe I’m assuming the worst, idk. But I can’t help to think she’s moved on. Since she already tried to reach out, she’s expecting me to be the one who contacts her.
The fact that she is pissed that you have ignored her and that she is posting all that stuff is a good sign. The best thing you can do is not give in and stay strong. Take the high road and not post anything. Make yourself the emotionally stronger one by proving that you don’t need to make her jealous. That will infuriate her more.
NC will give her the space to get over herself and calm down so don’t respond to her until at least 30 days.
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