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My ex left me a couple days after Valentine’s Day 2016. We were broken up two months before I contacted her. The first month it didn’t seem to bother me, but the second month I was a psychotic mess and was drinking a lot. I made the deadly mistakes and everything went wrong, I guess because I didn’t get my post-breakup feelings until later. I’ve gone no contact twice since then. The first time she was talking to someone else but was still being sexually intimate with me, and it really hurt me. It only lasted two weeks bc she contacted me and I gave in and saw her. This second time I got kicked out of the house and her mom let me stay there. Before leaving, I told her I loved her but probably wouldn’t talk to her for awhile bc of her indecisiveness. Needless to say, she got a bf during the second month and a half I tried no contact. We’ve hung out a couple times, but she says she wants to be close to me and not in a relationship. She also said she doesn’t trust herself to be around me while she has a boyfriend (meaning?). And she also smelled it out already that I still have feelings for her.
Anyway, I blocked her again on Facebook and don’t plan on contacting her until November 22nd. Do you think there is still hope for me? She doesn’t seem too interested in this new guy, but I know they’ve slept together and that hurt quite a bit. But she always talks bitterly about him to me and I don’t understand it. She said it hurt her the last time I told her I was going away, but I told her I was going to do it. Do you think this time it will be more effective since I’m not notifying her first? Also, I’m doing this because I don’t want her to think she can remain close to me when she has a boyfriend.
Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated 🙂
I might not go the full month, but I need time to pacify these feelings so that I can build our friendship again and hopefully get her thinking about me again. I know the first week of NC is the hardest but I still love her. I hope I’m not pushing her away by doing this since she said it hurt her when I stopped contacting her. She calls me everyday and I don’t understand why if there’s no connection there. I guess time will tell. I’m starting to lose hope, but hopefully this time I’ll have success.
Hi badboybronstein, She said it hurt her when you stopped contacting her, but obviously she wasn’t hurting enough to drop the boyfriend even though she knows you love her. She’s very immature and playing with your feelings by calling you and talking badly about her boyfriend. If she cared deeply for you, she would have tried to work things out with you in a calm manner. But instead, she continues to hurt you like she did before. It’s a good thing that you blocked her on Facebook. Now you should try very hard to break all contact, even though it will be difficult. Stay strong and don’t settle for being a 2nd option! Let her know in a VERY brief note that you won’t be contacting her while she has a boyfriend. No one can say if there’s any hope for reconciliation with her, but wouldn’t it better to be alone than being used for her own purposes, whatever they might be? Please consider meeting and going out with normal girls because you deserve better much treatment! Dating others will also get your mind off her and onto having some enjoyable times. I hope all is going well staying with your parents:) Did you get the new car yet?
Everything is well, thank you. And no, I actually got fucked over with the car. But my parents have been nothing but helpful in helping me find another car :). And yeah, this is probably going to be my last attempt at any kind of reconciliation with her. I’m going to wait until she contacts me 2-3 times(if she even does) that’ll show me if she even notices my absence and then I’ll say something along the lines of what you recommended. And you’re right I shouldn’t have to compete if she really cared about me.
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