talk with him or not

[Pedro]

Yeah i think i did the right thing by being there for her, even though she don’t act the same way when i am but its okay…life aint fare i guess…i did call her too she didn’t answer her phone saying she’s trying to go to bed but she was okay with texting i don’t understand….weird isn’t ??

Hahaha i totally understands the texting thing the wait to see that bubble show up on your phone and waiting for that text..and its even weird when you were together they will send you the text right away i mean like the moment you hit the send button you see the response…

I think you shouldn’t since he don’t like to go out it will be awkward for him to go to party and the situation will already be little awkward because of the ex situation thing.I think he’s confuse too, I’m sure there are some things that he didn’t like about you sorry but there will be some stuff thats holding him back. what i can suggest you is to have a patience talk to him through text but don’t text him a whole lot…don’t ask him to meet up again let him think why she’s not asking me…talk about romantic stuff or funny things y’all did when you were together and then end it after few text make him think about it…talk random things… talk about your positive life and tell him that you’re happy but tell him in a way that you do miss and wish there but don’t make it sound too needy.

I dont know what i should do, i can’t understand how girls mind work or what they think. she called me today saying she left her purse and she came home to get it and going back to work again. The thing about us was back when we were together we use to call each other while driving , she still does those randomly so idk what she want.. she will tell me all her friends and family tell her that what the hell is wrong with her for breaking up with me, i am like why you telling me this like what I’m suppose to do with that. She knows that i wanna be back with her and sometimes she acts like she does too and makes me fell like she miss me and everything and the next day we don’t even talk. I don’t what to think of it…what do you think.. how should i approach..do you think i still have a chance with her by the way she acts ??

[kellyn]

Omg, now u make me confused too. Ok. So just be friend first, don’t rush anything. She may not want to be in a relationship with u, but i am quite sure that u guys still can be friends. Hope that will help.

Btw, it is too late, i already ask him. He said he wants to meet me first, so the party is nah. He just asked me to send a picture to him because he forgot my face, it has been long time. Can u believe that? Lol. Now i don’t know why i talk to him back, it is crazy! How to know he just play around or be serious to go back together, Pedro?

[Pedro]

What really he asked you for picture because he forgot how you look like,now that’s some BS. Trust me he remembers you perfectly fine he’s just acting up sometimes guys wanna see the picture they wanna keep it in there phone to look at it later. I know it’s creepy but sometimes when you remember someone they just wanna look at the picture but that’s messed up the way he said he forgot how you look like. What I can understand from what you told me is he’s not serious about getting back together and don’t worry that’s okay, it’s time for you to show what he’s missing out. When you meet him present yourself properly, show the great personality tell him about all the achievements you’ve got after you guys broke up. Make him realize you’re doing great in life. He already knows that you wannna be together so don’t bring that up and if you don’t wanna ruin anything don’t have sex or even a kiss for that matter. Don’t make yourself too easy, I know you want too. I know you wannna hug him,hold him kiss him and all that but please don’t it will boost his ego and show you weak.

Yeah my situation is confusing AF. I am trying to take it slow with her but I can’t just be friends with her. I don’t understand how people know everything about each other I mean physical stuff and emotional feelings and be friends again. I can’t. Right now all I wish was we talk little more than we do, I don’t want us to be talking 24/7 but wish were little bit more. I know she still care and love me but the thing is she’s confused and don’t know what to do. What do you suggest how do I remove that confusion with her ??

[kellyn]

I understand the physical and emotional things that you mentioned. What i can suggest you are 1) things take time, so if she is confused what she needs to react, give her some times. Ex: if i am confused sthing, i need time to think about it. 2) ask her what she confuses about, and clean that confusion. You guys go to the same school, so chance to fix it is pretty high. Hope it hepls.

I think 50 he wants to get back, 50 he doesn’t. The ‘good morning’ is coming back to me these days, so i am happy about that. Furthermore, i think our relationship has a strong physical than emotional. I remember that on our first day, we kissed so much, and he touches me. I know it was not good for long-term, but things just happened. He said he never had this strong feelings before, well i felt the same way. WWe may meet in weekend, and as you said i shouldnot kiss him. Do i really shouldn’t do that? Btw, Do you think i ask him about those girls on fb and how he feels is a right move?

[Pedro]

Well we graduated this was our last semester and we are walking this coming Saturday one of the happiest time and i can’t even share with her….i think she’s confused i am not sure about that either, i feel like that because of the way she acts sometimes. I am 100% sure she is not dating anyone or any thing like that so idk if i can ask her whats the confusion. I guess the only thing i can do is be patience and wait for some kind of miracle or maybe a Christmas gift that will be so fucking sweet.

Hey so I’ve this dilemma i want to send her a graduation gift and i was thinking about sending her flower nothing romantic no red roses just some colorful flowers do you think that will be a good idea and also do i buy her a Christmas gift sometime i feel like i should and sometime i feel like nah don’t do it….my dilemma i wanna show her that i still care and really proud and happy for her but at the same time i feel like she already knows all that. I have told her more than couple of times that i am really proud and happy for her. so i don’t know what i should

this is the one i wanna send if i end up sending her what you think, is it too much ?

https://www.1800flowers.com/florist-delivered-winter-brilliance-147268?categoryId=400064993

well thats good that he’s texting you in the morning. I think and its totally up to you how you approach it, i think it will be better if you don’t kiss him. If you kiss him that will show you are weak and sorry it will show you easy not trying to be rude but if its something easy to get then you loose the excitement, you loose the thrill. Take it from me if a guy find it too easy to get with you physically then he will never have any emotion connection and if you want the emotional connection then don’t do it. we have to build our trust, confidence before we get physical. I mean is it really worth it to kiss someone who don’t have any emotional feelings or someone who you trust…Idk maybe i am getting old 🙁 that does sound like an old guy talking but thats how i look at it. I don’t wanna share my physical relationship with anyone if there is no emotion. I hope it helps.

[kellyn]

Well, since she has the confusion, i think it is better don’t send her any fancy or big thing. And don’t give here a note which is saying u still care and wants to be back, bla bla bla…. it kinda creepy tho. Lol A small helpful gift and ‘happy holiday or merry Christmas, her name’note may be work. The link u sent, yes, i think it is too much.

Ok. Yah, i thought the same thing. On our first day, i just wanted to talk, but he just tried kiss me all the time, i just go through with it. If he thinks like what u mentioned, i will be pretty upset. I am totally agree with what u wrote.

[Pedro]

Yeah I think I will skip the whole gift thing at all, she already knows how much I care about her and how happy I am for her so I will let it be. I’m worried about the graduation day she’s wired she will talk to me someday in person and someday she will completely ignore me. I’m worried that she will ignore me since she will be with her family and they all know we broke up. I don’t even know if I should go talk with her family members they all used to like me but idk what to do… what you think should I at least talk with her family members or is it completely wired I like them and always have a good conversation with them when we were together

Yeah you’ve every right to be upset if he thinks like that but the best way to handle is not let it happen at all, if he wants the emotional connection then the physical connection will come with it

[kellyn]

I think u should talk with them, just casual stuffs, because that will be a big day right. Don’t think too much about the break up, throw it out your mind in that day, act and talk casual. If u see them, go ahead and say hi, if don’t just stay with your friends and family.just enjoy the moment and think like being friends. Sound good?

I see. Totally understand. Hhaz sometimes i wonder it is a good decision to contact him back. I afraid that things will go wrong, and the most important thing is he will think me like a bad person. He said i always disappear. RRelationship is hard, i even don’t want to be in it, i am cool with being single more. However don’t know why i has thought about him. So weird.

[Pedro]

Yeah you’re right, it sounds good. It’s a special day and why ruin it. Guess what we haven’t even talk since yesterday, the last conversation we had was yesterday morning like 2-3 text that’s it.

Yeah I completely agree relationship is hard when someone give up but it’s worth it if things work out and I’m happy that you’re happy with being single. Maybe there’s something you wanna know or you wanna have some kind of closure with him. Don’t worry about thing going bad you haven’t done anything wrong, you love him and trying to see if he feels the same there’s nothing wrong with trying.

[kellyn]

Same, sometimes we just have a few texts per day. And it just likes how r u, i am fine, good. That is. Lol

I think call is better, gonna tell him that we should call each other sometimes. And also, i don’t receive good morning today. Last night, he sent me a text which said he just back home from work, at 9.30pm. And i wrote ‘r u serious, i think u wanna kill yourself ’. Do i say something wrong?

[Pedro]

Im sure you said it in a funny way, i don’t think he’s mad or anything maybe he’s just tired and didn’t have any energy to talk or anything. If he didn’t send you the good morning text maybe you could’ve send him the same text it will show that you care about that text. I hope you had a good time with him whenever y’all meet.

[kellyn]

Thank you so much Pedro! it is good to hear from male perspective, if you have any situation you not sure what to do, do not mind to ask.

[Pedro]

Hey thank you for all your help too, actually yeah i wanted to know the girls perspective on one thing may be you can help me. We are hanging out lot more often like every other day, we went for dinner and went to watch a movie on saturday and went for dinner last night and things are going good but one thing she keep bringing is why are you this nice to me and i can’t be with you….we will talk about something and if we disagree on something she will be like this is why we can’t be together she keep on asking me why i am so nice to her and she says she’s worried that I’m having a hope and waiting on her and she hates that she don’t want me to be waiting on her but i know her and if i stop and start moving on she will be broken, she wants me to stay but she have this confusion of things not working out again. So i am waiting on her but how do i show that I’m not how do i change her confusion and how is it going with you. Are you still getting the morning text and talking with him ??

[kellyn]

Ohh. I know what is going on. I think maybe she don’t want to be in a serious relationship now. She may happy that you be around her, like someone will be there for her. However, when she thinks about the future, she may think that is not a good idea. Also she may think that some parts of you she doesn’t like. U guys need more time, female and male‘s thinking r different.

I think i understand what she is feeling now, it is hard to explain, but i will share how i feel with him, like to give an example for u.

In my relationship i have a confusion too. I think that he has lots of bad habits and i don’t know i can change it or not. I choose who i love carefully, not because i had been in some not working relationship in the past, but also it will effect my thinking of dating someone else in the future. Therefore i always think about find some one that near to the perfect of my standard as much as possible. When i saw him, i don’t think he will be my type, but some how he gives me some feelings that i feel so safe and comfortable. And so far i can’t feel like that from other guys. I confuses about does he like me, does he feel the same way. Similar to she ask you that why you be so nice to her, i wonder that why he doesn’t hate me and still keep text me now. Does he play some games or something, u know i have bunches of questions in my head. Today i am not good at explaining, but hope u understand what i mean.

So i think u guys need more times. She may doesn’t have much trust for you and feel your love. But, The way that u guys hang out more now is a good sign, Pedro! So keep the good work.

Yes, these 3 days i received the good morning text. Today i said that i like it when he sends me those good morning, and he doesn’t say anything so far. Lol Me and him, idk, like on weekend, we didn’t meet each other because of his morther‘ birthday. He just keeps saying that he wants to meet me, but he not really try hard to make it work. And i feel like he is seeing other girls now (just guessing, i am not sure). Idk, what is he thinking?

[Pedro]

Thank you, you’re absolutely right. when i read your comment and think about what she says and her action i think she’s going through the same exact thing. She keeps on saying that she hates me because i am so nice to her and that I’m always there for her but when it comes to being together she brings up the stuff from past or the stuff that we don’t have common and you’re right i don’t think she trust me and love me i mean in a way that people do in relationship she still loves me and cares about me but she’s worried about future she’s is worried if things will go back to the way it was before but i think i will be able to change that by showing my affection and hanging out more what do you think, i think if i change my old habits that she didn’t like and I’m not changing it just for her but to better myself i think i might have a chance. Thank you so much Kellyn.

Oh thats nice that he still sends you the message and its okay if he didn’t reply the whole purpose of saying that was to show him that you appreciate him taking time and sending you the text and I’m sorry about the weekend but if he’s was actually spending time with his family then its okay. Its a good thing that he’s family oriented.

You know what don’t ask him to meet up again, you already asked him couple of times or maybe more than that now wait till he ask you. Whenever y’all talk just be nice and if he ask you about the free time then let him know but don’t push him make him make him think why is she not asking me to meet. You don’t wanna be the only one trying, if he cares and wanna try things let him make the next move and if he’s dating someone then its even better he will be trying to find you in them and when he don’t he will be coming to you. I know its the hard part just to even think about it . Remember you said if I’m not wrong that you dated some folks but was never able to love them bc you thought about him or was looking for someone like him thats how his brain gonna work. If he was happy with you then when he goes on date he will miss you, he will miss you on the tiny details that you don’t even know or wasn’t that important when you guys were together.

From what i can tell you is that he’s confuse too, he may not be sure about you and at that time all you can do is show him your love, care and affection. Don’t be jealous or be mad at him if he said or do something that you don’t like, when you do all that he will slowly realize what you mean to him and wouldn’t wanna leave you and will regret ever letting you go. good luck keep your patience

[Author]

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