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Hi all,
If you have a look at my posts you’ll get a fairly good background of where I’m coming from with my ex, I just came by today to say that if you do what Kevin says, you’re going to be okay. 🙂
The latest update for me was that I went on an outing with my ex the day before my 30th birthday, and then saw her for lunch as well the next day (on my birthday). After that, even for Christmas and New Years, I heard absolutely nothing from her which had me feeling like crap. For my birthday, only about 4 months after we broke up, she had done NOTHING. Now I’m not expecting anything awesome, but the point here is that whilst we were still together, she didn’t care enough to do a single thing for my 30th, which was a pretty good sign of how much she actually cared.
Anyway around mid Jan she out of the blue emailed me giving me an update with her work life, telling me she’d bought a puppy etc but said nothing about her relationship. The thing that most surprised me though? I didn’t care and just wanted her to go away. I ignored the email and ended up getting a pretty angry follow up a few days later so I replied just to get her off my back – since then, I’ve only received one message which was about some DVD’s I apparently left at her place and if I wanted them back, I said no, she could do what she wanted with them.
I haven’t heard anything else and I’m happy! I’m not in a new relationship yet, not entirely sure I’m ready to be honest, but having her totally cut out of my life has given me the distance I needed to see that she isn’t the person I thought she was. She has good qualities sure, but she’s a liar, very manipulative, and prone to highly emotional outbursts that always left me feeling like crap whilst we were together. Would I ever be with her again? No – I can’t trust her, simple as that.
I wish all of you the best of luck, and remember that no matter where you end up in life, it’s where you’re meant to be. 🙂
Congratulations. You didn’t get your ex back but you got yourself and your happiness and That’s the best of it.
Hey CaptainObviousAu.
I think I can now safely say that I also fall into this topic.
This morning I was feeling extremely low. I would have given anything for my ex to contact me. Until… Out of the blue, she did.
Wasn’t quite what I had expected though. I sent her flowers a couple of weeks ago. However, she started the mail by stating that I have no more self-respect, saying how all of her friends are now laughing at me for being such a pussy etc. After my calm response, another mail followed, this one however, was more “extensive”…
I have no “swag”, I can’t kiss, I suck in bed, I’m not an attractive person, I’m not a “real” man and I can’t handle her… She concluded the lovely mail with: “FUCK OFFFFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”
Anyway, I wanted to send her straight down to hell after that, but instead replied calmly and told her that I will leave her alone from now on, and that I will not allow myself to be taken to her “vocabulary” level. I said that the girl I loved is clearly gone. Unlike her though, I finished my response with: “Best regards”. She replied with: “Thank God! I really hope that you’ll leave me alone, this time for real!”
Well, that’s it I suppose. I don’t want her back. Not anymore. She is one hell of a bitch for acting like this. I’ve made some mistakes, but I am a good person and ALWAYS treated her with respect. She is just not worth the trouble… I am done with her now and I’ll rather give my love to someone who will appreciate it more.
Just wanted to share and I’m open for any thoughts…
Best regards. Hehe 🙂
You are totally right. She isn’t worth it my dear. Focus on yourself, heal, be happy, be grateful everyday for what you have and this opportunity to improve and really find the love that is right for you 🙂
Thank you for your kind words kaila 🙂
I agree, it takes two to “tango”… If only one of us tries to rekindle the relationship, it’s not enough. It takes two people to make it, and two people to break it. I just didn’t see it before and I blamed everything on me…
You know what’s really funny? She also wrote in the mail that she didn’t want to tell me all these things before, because she didn’t want to hurt me. Right… Because someone telling you why they want you to piss off hurts so much more than putting that same person in suspense for months? What kind of logic is that?
Ah well… Time heals everything.
I do hope that you’ll have more luck than me, though 🙂
He is really a great guy and I ruined everything. Right now I could be with him, in the direction of a great future together. He isn’t perfect but I has everything I need/want in a person. So that is why this is so hard for me. If he was a jerk, didn’t deserve me or didn’t have important things I wanted in a partner, I would just let go much better and think of the future and not try to get back like this
I’m sorry to hear that.
I feel for you, I really do. I felt this way for the past three months. Sure, there were days when it was easier, but 90 percent of the time I was feeling completely down. More so, because I felt everything was my fault.
Right now it’s easier for me, because of what my ex wrote me in the mail. But a couple of days from now, when the anger is gone, I know I’ll be sorry again. She was a great woman, but she has shown me a side of her that shocked me! And I can’t allow myself to forget that and give in! I was good to her, and it felt good seeing her happy. She never complained about the things she wrote in the mail. I mean how can you keep things like that hidden from a person that you, supposedly, loved? It’s childish and I just think I’ve now lost all respect for her.
The thing about her is, she is looking for ideals. Fairy tales are wonderful, don’t get me wrong. But they are just that – FAIRY TALES… There is no perfection in life, that’s what makes us human. And if you understand that, than my dear girl, you most definitely have my respect. And I really hope that your partner will realize just how much you appreciate him.
I’ll check your story and see if I can help. But try not to feel too bad. You also seem like a really caring person, and that can tear people like us down…
I’m starting to swing towards this way as well, I was pretty much done with any friendly talking/potential second chance stuff but over our winter break(both college kids) we hung out a few times and it went well and she ended up admitting she still liked me but felt it was too soon to try again, since we had broken up about 2-3 months prior. Figured hey maybe maintain solid contact, rebuild attraction, since we will both be home for the summer maybe see what happens then. Since then she’s been all sorts of hot and cold, kinda ignores me at times. Didn’t do anything to warrant it, don’t contact her often enough to be needy, hell I was dating another girl up until about a month ago and she had a new bf too. After all this I have started feeling like she just uses me as entertainment when she’s home or bored. If this week doesn’t go too well(it’s spring break and we are supposed to hang out) I’ll probably completely move on and count it as over, already mostly there anyways.
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