Boards › Reconciliation › Starting second round of NC
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September 18, 2014 at 2:41 am #7986
Thanks man. I have a feeling this NC is going to be hard on me because I wont get any reaction.
I will keep this topic updated with the progress. Even if there is no progress ๐
And hope to get some response from you guys. It makes everything a lot easier when you have others to talk to about it. ๐September 19, 2014 at 12:18 pm #8155Ok just a small update
2 days gone of this second round of NC.
So far, no reaction from her, but I didnยดt expect that so soon either.
Tomorrow is the day I invited her for coffee (she didnยดt reply to that invite, remember?)
But what if the reply comes tomorrow and she says yes? Should I continue the 30 days NC, or go for the coffee? Just in case… I highly doubt it will happend, but I want to be prepared…Anyways, she is still very active on Facebook ect. She likes a lot of pictures. Just not any of mine.
I have thrown out most of my clothes, and gotten a completely new style (Yaaay)
I posted a picture of me on Facebook to show it of, wishing all my friends a good weekend. Big smile and everything to show I was happy. It got a lot of likes and some comments. But nothing from her…Is she deliberately trying to avoid me?
September 19, 2014 at 1:34 pm #8161Focus on yourself and not so much on what she is thinking or her possible reactions. It is not easy, but it is the best chance you have to get her back.
September 19, 2014 at 1:35 pm #8162Thanks man
And the coffe invite?? Yes/no?
September 19, 2014 at 5:22 pm #8194no to the coffee invite, remember you are doing no contact. I know exactly how you feel, I feel the same way with my husband, your doing good, keep it up. ๐
September 21, 2014 at 5:59 am #8317Ok so she didnยดt text me yesterday about the coffee invite. But again: didnยดt expect it either… ๐ I just like to update this thread with my thoughs, and get some feedback, as it makes the NC way easier to me ๐
Ok, so I am still doing my NC, and putting all focus on myself now.
I have made som changes to my looks. (New haircut, new style, tanning, teeth whitening)I am also looking for a new job, and I am planning on selling my house (This has been a dream for some time now)
When the house gets put up for sale I am gonna post a picture of the sales sign on my facebook, put a description like: “looking forward to a very exciting future” or something… That will make her wonder… What is happening, where is he going ect…
I had one thought:
She has changed a bit since our breakup. She has always been a health freak, and she normally dont drink, and always laugh at those drunken girls she see in the morning on their way home.
But since our breakup she has been out partying just about every weekend (Except one)…I am thinking this is a normal, considering her new job, new school ect… There is some social preasure…
September 21, 2014 at 10:09 am #8327You are still obsessing over her or trying to do things to get her attention. Just focus on yourself, it’ll make things easier at the end. It’s hard, we all know because we are going through it, but stay strong. These 30 days are supposed to be constructive for yourself, don’t just pass it thinking about her. Think about yourself. You are doing great.
September 21, 2014 at 11:06 am #8330im in the same situation.. we all are. i havent heard from my ex in 2 weeks. and im driving myself crazy thinking about her, waking up multiple times each night with deep pains in my heart, and im pretty sure shes dating someone else. she prob doesnt give a F* what im feeling or doing. NC is supposed to be for me but im just freezing myself out.
I know we all have reasons why we broke up, and obviously we are trying to learn from our mistakes and either move on or mend the relationship. But the point we all have to face is that we are worth more than we are giving ourselves credit for. I hate being both the bad guy for mistakes i made in the relationship and the victim for the break up.
I was thinking to myself this morning… HOW MUCH OF OUR LIVES ARE WE GOING TO WASTE OVER SOMEONE WHO DOESNT WANT US IN THEIR LIFE?
I read a quote that reads ” It’s better to have nobody than to have someone who is half there, or doesn’t want to be there”
We have to give ourselves more credit. We’re still good people and want good things. I could have seen my ex as my wife and having kids together and living happily ever after but its obvious thats not happening.
So what can we do? only one thing.. move on. Believe that there is someone else out there who is right around the corner. This person is looking for us. Praying for us, and has been waiting for us to come into their life. We learned from our mistakes, made ourselves better, and now this new person can treat us better.
I know im saying this to the group but also to myself. There must be a reason this is all happening. We dont know why its happening but we have to believe its for the best.
September 21, 2014 at 11:17 am #8332Yes, we deserve better. Someone who is half way there is more hurtful even though you have the comfort of having someone to fall back on. But in the long run, not good for either one of you. I guess, I am glad my ex bf realized that and broke it off. If he comes back, I’ll only accept him if he’s ready for give all of himself. Not part of himself.
September 21, 2014 at 2:09 pm #8350Thanks for all your replies.
I wont say I am obsessing over her (Any more) ๐
I am trying to do a lot for myself, and ofcause I want to “show off” to her. And yes, a text or 2 from her that I can ignore would really make my day. ๐
You people have felt like that to right? ๐September 22, 2014 at 3:44 am #8412I personally think that the reason I want a text from her that I can ignore, is because I see it as a confirmation that the NC is working. (That is how I would feel about it)
Anyone agree?September 23, 2014 at 5:36 am #8533Time for an update
It finally happend. She send me a text. A happy one. And I am ignoring it ๐
I wont lie: It feels good… ๐She is a very serious athlete, and I am very interrested in that sport as well. So during our relationship I was always the one she turned to for advice and to talk about it. So when she texted me today it was ofcause because of some big news regarding her sport. My mind can come up with 100ยดs of reasons to answer her text and talk to her about it… BUT I WONT!! I need to be strong.
She has other friends with the same interest as us, so I am sure she will go to them and talk instead. Maybe she already did? I dont know, but I am sure her mind is wondering now ๐
Anyways, my focus is on myself now, and it feels goooooood ๐
September 28, 2014 at 6:17 am #9092Another update from me
I know NC is about 2 things. One is for my healing and self improvement. The other is to make her mind start working and miss me.
I feel like the healing part is going very well. I hardly ever think about her during the day, and I have made many improvements.She tried to contact me again
Like I said in one of the other posts, when I get a job in the city she lives in I am gonna sell my house and move. So today I posted on facebook that I had put my house up for sale, and “an exciting future waits ahead” ๐Ofcause she was the first to message me ๐
Did you get a new job??I still did not reply ๐
Keep up the NC for 2 more weeks? Yes? No?
September 28, 2014 at 6:50 am #9093Yes
September 28, 2014 at 12:22 pm #9118Good work man, keep it up. Sometimes the most tempting thing in the world is to say what you’re thinking, but sometimes words just don’t cut it. You’re on the right track!
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