Should I still want him back?

[cjk]

Hi all,

I’m CJ, and I’m 19. My ex and I broke up a little over a month ago, and after we gave each other’s property back, we both agreed to no contact for a little while for our individual healths. It was what you would call an amicable breakup, I suppose? He and I dated the whole school year, starting a few weeks after school began, and ending coincidentally when school closed due to COVID 19, though we didn’t know that at the time. It’s a crazy story. He and I both suffered abuse in childhood, and we had both overcome it; we are both prelaw, both scheduled to graduate early; we had almost everything in common, but the things we didn’t only helped each other grow. He made me much more outgoing, for example. We had talked about how we would be happy to get married someday, but we’re young, so we didn’t make any promises. Then, his dad got brain cancer. Yeah. He’s his father’s primary caretaker right now, plus work and school. I wanted to be there with him, and I told him I would give him all the space he asked for, but he told me that we are too young for him to let his girlfriend possibly keep him from reconciling with his father, assuming I would distract him from spending time with his father, which we both knew I would. So he broke up with me. It was sudden and hard for both of us. I gave him a letter telling him how much I cared for him before we exchanged property and agreed to no contact, so he would have that while he doesn’t have me. He is now in a casual relationship with one of his exes. It hurts, but I know it’s a rebound, and he doesn’t believe he could handle anything serious right now. I don’t know whether or not I agree with him, but I do understand that he made the decision he thought would be better for both of us, so I don’t hold much resentment. Anyway, I think we would be the perfect candidates for getting back together, if I gave him a few months to work on his relationship with his father. I know we are young, but we are also very mature, and we did not fight very often, and when we did, we handled the conflict very well. We grew up in abusive families, so we knew what not to do. We have always been very respectful. I think it’s reasonable to say that, with a few more years of dating, we would probably marry. Neither of us had thought about breaking up prior to this; he told me as much, and from what I observed, he was telling the truth. I would love to be with him again. I just wonder, should I initiate a text message in a few months, or not? If he loved me as much as I think, if our love was as good as I say, shouldn’t he love me enough to reach out to me? If he never does, wouldn’t that mean that I am just wrong? As much as I love him, I can hardly keep from contacting him, and if that’s true, shouldn’t the same be true for him? This site is all about getting an ex back, and that’s something I would love, but I am afraid that if I try to get him back, that would be me acknowledging that he doesn’t love me enough to do the same.

[quietus]

If you think you are great candidates for getting back together, why are you doubting his love for you?
Anyway, I think you should do what you think is right. When you feel is an appropriate time, go ahead and reach out to him. Honesty and open communication solves a lot of problems.

[Author]

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