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Posts
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Kaila, thank you! I’m positive that everything is going gto work out for the best. I have to make sure that once I do leave, I truly let go of any hope That there is a future. Cant wait for the day that I wake up and my life is settled. Fun, spontaneous…but settled. Im very excited for it. My family and I do not see eye to eye on most things. they are very toxic people. I only have a couple friends here right now. I cant stay with them. Ill have my ex keep spending the night with her new man and Ill have the house and bed at night alone.
Today my ex came home after spending the night with her bf. She looked at me, smiled really big and complimented me. Said I look really good and I was dressed nice. I gave her a big smile back and went on with what I was doing. I went about the house talking to her. Casual conversation about my day and what has been up with me. She stopped and said, “what has you all happy?” With a smile on her face. I said, “Im just happy. It is a good day!” With a big smile. She just stared at me, and said “I like it. I really like it.” About an hour later she asked again, “So what has you so happy?” And again, I said, “Im just happy. It is a good day.” And she seemed down after that. And then made plans to go be with her guy.I dont get her. It’s not like I care if she goes with him. It is over between us. I want someone that is wife material. However, the way she stares at me. The way she said, “I really like it.”, the compliments and still calls me baby…
This is why I have to get out asap. All the behavior she exhibits needs to be booted from my life.
Makeup-
Ill take a look asap. 🙂LABound
I hope you are able to get out of that situation and move on. You sound like an awesome person..her loss. Thank you I await your advice….much appreciated!LA way Togo being strong man. Think best thing to do is get your self back to being settled. That’s what I want and most people do, it fair what she is doing really. However you’re stronger than most in your position. Could you guys both take a look at my most recent post. My heads fried after three months of mess tbh.
good to hear from you @labound! im sorry what a mess this has all turned into for you but i think it gave you the strength you need to walk away.
killing the last ounce of hope was hard for me and to be honest i don’t think it completely fades until you meet someone else. you will be so strong for getting through this and find a girl worth of your love. your ex keeps boyfriend hopping and its not gonna get her anywhere.
as for me, im very happy in my relationship! i feel totally confident and secure and so much more appreciated than i was in my past relationship. we have met each others families and are moving forward. i couldn’t be happier 🙂 my last ounce of hope died because i can say now that i don’t want my ex back. i don’t want to be with anyone who views me as a plan B. you’ll meet someone who makes you feel this way and i am sure of that!
Atea,
That is great! Yeah, my ex is still looking for something. Hell, maybe she found it: serial lust and temporary happiness. ?
I am tremendously happy for you. Remember, never become complacent! Haha Meeting the parents eh? Nice. Glad that you’re moving forward.
This second round with my ex made me realize so much. Im not going to pretend that it doesn’t hurt, and that I haven’t been damaged. I have, but this time around I am so much better equipped to handle the sadness and frustration. Some days, my arms go numb like they did the first round. When she gets her things packed to go to her boyfriend’s place, I can’t help but think, “wtf. Im in the twilight zone. I woke up in someone else’s life. How are we not together?! How did this happen?”
Those feelings fade after she leaves, and I keep myself busy. Busy but in check about what she has done and how I should never pursue her again. I mean, her being with other people hasnt been the problem. It’s the lying, manipulation, and cheating that’s the problem. If she was hitting some milestone and panicked mindset, she shouldve at least left it clean cut; not ripped apart to where it can never be cleany sewn again. We cant even be friends after 9yrs!! Im pissed.These boards help me so much. Ha. I love being able to vent. I love helping others too.
This morning, I sat and thought sbout how I feel about her. Honestly, she doesnt respect me or love me to the degree I need from her. Even on a friendship level, she doesnt have what it takes to be in my life. It makes me sad that this is what she turned into. There used to be so much love and good times. Now I see her face and have no idea who she is. That’s the saddest part. Having someone be part of you, to know them so well, and one day they wake up and the person you loved and knew so well is dead. And the only thing youre left with is a shell that was taken over by a body snatcher.
Im done. I guess it was a tough morning. She’s been more attentive to me lately. Even when she is with him. Even said I love you to me in front of him. It is aggravating.
Jburg, thank you. Haha Im trying! Im about to check out your post(s). along with the posts by makeupjunkie.
yes, met the parents and it went well! everything seems so easy. with my ex i was always analyzing and making excuses and explanations for things and with this, everything is just easy. i feel confident and secure and he has no hesitations. i always felt like my ex wondered what else was out there and i don’t feel this way in my new relationship at all. we have booked a vacation for next month and i am excited to keep going forward. i think about my ex less and less everyday.
everything you said about your ex is exactly how i feel some days. i try not to think about it because it hurts too much but when i remember how distant we are or the fact that we are both with other people or that we have zero communication anymore, it makes me feel, like you said, like i am somehow in the twilight zone. after spending so many years with these people at such a young age its just hard to get used to how things changed. i cannot believe that your ex already has a new boyfriend and that you need to see how often she goes and sees him. i have a stomach ache thinking about it. a friend of mine last week saw my ex and his current girlfriend out for lunch and when she told me i almost threw up. its just better when i don’t think about them which I’ve gotten pretty good at. im happy so im happy he is too but after so many years together its just weird that someone else is knowing all about him and talking to him daily and we’ve become strangers. but i guess thats life.
i love these boards as well. they were so helpful to me when i was having such a hard time so its nice to come back and give some support. what you said about your ex with the lying and manipulation is exactly how i feel. i don’t care that my ex wanted to date other people, but the way he’s gone about it and how he acted the last few weeks of our relationship really made me wonder if i ever knew him at all. its really crazy and kind of scary.
i rarely have tough mornings anymore but i do have random moments of sadness. we can never truly erase our pasts. my ex was doing the same thing, still telling me he loves me when we spoke, that maybe this was temporary, etc. although he has now been with his girlfriend for almost 6 months so it has definitely progressed to the point where him saying those things is inappropriate. he also knows i am with someone else now. life is really so strange. just have to take each day as it comes.
@LABound heeeey dude it’s been a while damn exes can be a real rough patch especially when they treat you as their partner and you’re just wondering why they still have that feeling and I guess she loves the emotional bond you two once shared but loves the physical bond with her bf. I truly commend you for being able to live with your ex and I’m proud you’ve gone through all this since it I’d an amazing learning curve and I’m sure you’ve learnt so Mich more about what you want and what you are looking for and also you’ve found out more about yourself. Hopefully you’re future wife is a perfect match with you and I’m sure she will be an amazing girl perfectly matched. Just try to keep yourself busy maybe volunteer somewhere or just work out more or further out from the house so you’re away from the house and its not running away from your house or avoiding your ex but more like spending time on yourself and not spending your time on individuals that don’t deserve your time and love
and lool at that girls reply I would’ve thought she would cherish you more for not being so engrossed in a sex filled relationship but I guess she was after a fling or a casual hook up soo her loss I guess lol
Heeeey @atea1234 just read your posts and woow its so beautiful when a member finds someone that has no drama tagging along with them. It must feel so free and stress free to not have to worth about being analysed or have your actions magnified and judged. I hope it all works out and I’m truly happy the big meet up went well please do keep us updated and sorry I didn’t recognize your name until I was on my post and noticed you had commented I’m not sure why you’re name seemed different to me lol.
Arjun,
Thanks for all the kind words and pep talk, buddy. I appreciate it.
Atea,
I don’t want to say I’m glad we’re both in the same situation.. almost… but I am happy someone is here that can relate. Thank you for all of your words. I can’t wait to post a thread on here, one day, telling all of you how great life is..and how I’ve found new love. It will happen!
The last few days were great between my ex and I. We had fun, we joked.. I wasn’t as engrossed in all the little details of her betrayal. It didn’t spark any love feelings, but it was nice that for a bit we could forget everything and enjoy each other. She hit on me. And laid down next to me and asked, “Do you think we flirt with each other?” I said, “No. I don’t think we do. Do you?” She said, “Yeah. Maybe. Idk”. Then yesterday, she wanted to have sex. She didn’t outright say it, but I could tell with the way she was being.
She’s a mess. She ended up leaving shortly after I turned my attention away from her flirtation. Then, she left her damn dogs here for me to take care of without even asking. So, I decided to ask her for more respect. She acted like a child about it. Good luck to her boyfriend. lol
So..today..she left again. She also decided, without asking me, to leave her dogs here. I think maybe she feels like I should be obligated? Idk. lol All of this is a joke.
I can’t move out for a while, but anyone that reads this.. please! Send out some positive vibes my way. Pray for me, if that’s your thing. Today caused me anxiety, and I had to leave the house. I went to sit at a park for a couple hours. Soaked up some sun, and talked to some friends across country that always make me laugh. Now, I’m just relaxing at “home”.
I’ll probably break out my art supplies later. I haven’t created anything in quite some time. Blast music, drink some tequila.. and draw.
I hope you all have a great rest of your weekend! 🙂
LAbound, I do send them 😛 Honestly I think I would feel grossed out by her advances at me… Don’t know what to advise you, just to keep looking for a job and how to move out as fast as you can. If you want someone to just talk to I can give you my KIK or FB, no problem. You seem a bit lonely :/ Hate seeing that.
It’s funny you mention art supplies, before the break up I bought watercolor paper but then put it all to the side
Hey Kaila,
Sorry, it’s been hectic so I haven’t been on here much.
I’m just okay. I am currently looking to get into flag football and handball, I am switching jobs so I can get better pay and a better position, I am trying to keep my spirits up, but living here is making it difficult, and I am hanging out; waiting for school to start up.
My ex hasn’t been very respectful. She continues to bring her new bf over here while I am here. He stays outside, but today he looked up at me when I was seeing who was outside. It was a good two seconds of us just looking at each other. I immediately began shaking with rage, and I wanted to knock out his fucking teeth. My ex comes in the room with a smile, and tries to speak to me. I didn’t yell, I didn’t do anything aggressive. I just held up my hand to show her how bad I was shaking. She automatically knew what was going on. She said, “Sorry.” I said, “It is so disrespectful and cruel of you to bring the guy you cheated on me with here. I know it’s your place and you two are always together, but have some respect. I am almost out of here.” She replied, “Okay. It won’t happen again. I’m sorry.”
The last couple of weeks, she’s been giving me mixed signals. She was kissing me and telling me she loved me when I was sleeping. She wanted to spend time with me. A lot of time. And then the other day, her new boyfriend gave her sweet, loving cards and two bags full of gifts. After that, my ex is abrupt with me. Asks to hang out, but doesn’t really. We had a short talk, and she said that she thinks this guy could be her soul mate. They bought matching rings, and my ex told me that they’ve talked about marriage and kids already.
I found out two days ago from one of her other teammates that my ex talked really bad about me to people. Which I don’t understand. She’s the one that cheated and lied. Why go around trying to make me look bad? Maybe it was to try and justify her actions? She wants to know who told me, but I told her it doesn’t matter who told me. It only matters what she’s said. I can’t believe she actually said harsh shit about me.
I asked her and she said she doesn’t know. That she didn’t think it was that bad, but what she did say was only one side of the whole story..and some people just assume things. I told her this: she wants to be in my life so bad, but she fucking cheats, lies and now I hear she’s talking bad about me to people.
The day after I found out she was talking shit, she hit me up a few times through text. I ignored her all day. Then she sent a picture of the two of us to me via text. And the caption is: “You’re so handsome”
I know it’s a manipulation tactic on her part. She fucks up, gets caught, and then she tries to manipulate me to get what she wants. And what she wants is for me to be in her life.
She walked into the kitchen today, and said, “I know this will upset you, but I hope you end up with “A””. Now, A is someone I have known for months. She’s amazing. She’s beautiful, she’s adventurous, she’s extremely smart and kind, she is funny…I mean.. she’s what I want in a wife. However, she is married. The reason my ex said that to me is because when I talk to A, I am always laughing or smiling. I know the deal though. As someone on the receiving end of cheating (twice!), I wouldn’t cross a line with A. I wouldn’t do that to her husband. He seems like a nice guy. “A” has also made it clear that we are friends, and that her husband is aware of our conversations and he’s fine with our friendship. I didn’t get upset at my ex for saying what she said. I just smiled and told her that I don’t like “A” like that, and that we’re becoming best friends. (I know some people out there think it isn’t possible for a man and woman to be friends without it becoming sexual.) I told my ex that I want someone like “A” though. My ex rubbed my shoulder and looked sad.. then walked away. Later on, we were both on the couch and she started playing with my feet. (One of her favorite things to do. lol) I don’t get her. She’s an asshole, but has moments where it’s like she thinks about what she’s doing and feels at least bad about it.
I’m going to stop now. lol I am just ranting at this point. I haven’t really spoken to anyone about this stuff. I need to get on these boards more. It helps a lot to vent and to help others.
Overall, I’m good. I’ll be better soon. It’s so important to separate yourself completely from the toxicity. Otherwise, it will be a fucked up roller coaster. I know I’ve cussed a lot. Sorry. It’s the mood I am in.
I hope you’re all well. Update me! 🙂
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