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Ok need help Patricia. Currently texting him and did flirt a little bit by asking to teach me how to play spades. He asked when I wanted to learn and asked what he was doing Friday. He indicated that was a busy day but I’m busy on Saturday and Sunday. Should I “schedule” for next week or leave it alone?
So after this convo I’m getting mixed feelings or rather whenever we text I feel this way. He always text me one or a few words such as “hey wassup” or “I’m good and you”. I guess it feels weird given this was the person I talked to on a regular about everything. Now it seems he really doesn’t want to chat. I even feel like he’s lost interest and that I’m wasting my time.
We haven’t seen each other in a month or so. I don’t know Patricia, maybe I’m wasting my time on this. Some days I feel hopeful others hopeless. ??First of all, let me suggest you don’t have contact with him everyday. After the dinner, he sent you a couple of texts, but you initiated two. So that was four within a week. Remember during the relationship he mentioned you were taking up too much of his personal space and time? Reading and replying to notes takes up time and he probably still thinks of you as a smothering person. I know it seems strange and different from what you were accustomed to, but try not to feel hopeless about the current situation.
So how did the conversation end today after you wrote him to let you know when it would be convenient for him to teach you how to play spades? Maybe he doesn’t want to chat so much because you might have a tendency to drag out the conversations on and on and on .. ?
Thanks I’ll go back to just only responding when he initiates a text. When I do text I’m trying to find things to text about or overthinking things so yes, I’m either dragging out a one-two word conversation or not really talking about things at all.
Our conversation went well but simple. Not too much talking. He said he’d let me know what was convenient for him and I ended the convo with talk to you later. I definitely don’t want him to think that I’m the same smothering person as before.
Again I’ll do more of stepping back (even if it gets hard) and allow him to do the reaching out.Again thank you for all your advice. It helps more than you know.
When you reply, just comment on whatever he writes in his note or answer any questions. You could also include new things happening in your life, but don’t make a book out of it, lol. Wishing you luck and keep your chin up, even when it gets hard. You’re doing fine:)
This helps a lot! I don’t know why I get nervous whenever we’re texting. I’ll try those things and keep positive about it all.
Have you heard anything from you ex yet? If not and since Labor Day is coming up, he might have previous plans with friends +/or family for a get together for barbecue or something. Don’t give up hope, he might contact you within the next couple of weeks to teach you how to play spades:)
Keeping my fingers crossed..No, I haven’t heard from him since we last talk although even when we first broke up I was the one who reached out or rather broke the silence. His family does get together for holidays so if he does reach out it will probably be after then.
You wrote: “..I haven’t heard from him since we last talk although even when we first broke up I was the one who reached out or rather broke the silence.” Way too smothering! You have to take a step back from doing this.
Don’t reach out to contact him! Be patient and wait for him to make a date to play cards:) Be very patient even though it might cause you some stress wondering if or when he will. You have to prove you’ve changed for the better..
Yea, I see what you’re saying now. I’ll definitely step back and wait. Don’t mind being patient plus I’ve been crazy busy lately with my businesses so only thought of reaching out a few times but again like you said I don’t want to come off smothering (as before).
I’ll just let him come when he’s ready.Hey Patricia, just letting you know I’ve followed with the plan and have not contacted him. No word on his end but I’m not losing hope. For now I’ve been consumed with my businesses and other personal things.
I do pray I hear from him though!Sorry you haven’t heard anything yet:( I thought maybe he would contact you soon after Labor Day to meet up maybe this weekend or next, but glad you’re not losing hope. The meet up went well and that’s why I think you have a good chance to reconcile:) You mentioned business(es) and I’m wondering if that means more than one and what kind? Glad to hear you’ve been keeping busy because I know that helps a great deal to keep away from dwelling on the sadness..
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