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When was the dinner? How many texts since then? Did he initiate all of them?
Did you answer any of the texts? You didn’t initiate any, right?The dinner was last Saturday. There have been four texts since that night. Unfortunately of the four texts sent since that night I initiated two ? The last text was on Thursday of this week which I initiated.
Oh no! He probably thinks you’re falling back into your clingy ways and haven’t changed. I know it’s hard to resist not contacting him, but you have to be stronger!
What did the texts say to each other? Please don’t contact him again, it’s only been a week since you meet him for the dinner! Don’t give up hope yet..Ok…from now on no contact on my end. The one from Saturday after the dinner was him asking if I made him home safely. We didn’t talk on Sunday. Monday and Tuesday we didn’t talk. Wednesday he initiated the text asking how I was doing. Thursday I sent a text asking how his day at work was. I haven’t text anything since Thursday. I’ve reframed from it.
Today is day 3 (counting from Thursday) All the texts sound very causal and that’s okay as long as he is the one initiating. If he contacts you first, a short sweet reply, maybe even a little flirty to see how he responds. Or a reminder of a wonderful time you had when you were together.
Ok, I will follow through with the no contact and with the instructions IF he texts first. I’m just hoping I even hear from him since our last convo was on Thursday. I use to send those memorable texts prior to our meet up but seems after us seeing each other he’s been distant. Maybe it’s truly over.
Since you’ve already done the memory texts, maybe reply with a flirtation. Don’t initiate talk about your feelings and the break up again as it creates too much drama. Someday, maybe he would begin a deeper discussion about what went wrong and how to fix it by both of you making compromises to please and make each other happy. But for now, be fun and happy like at the start of the relationship. Do this in the text replies or if you meet in person again. Also if you see him again, give him a nice big hug and smile upon greeting him:)
Remember during the dinner he said he thought of you often and also expressed his love? What were the mixed signals you were getting at dinner? It seems he’s taking this slow, maybe because he’s afraid you would smother him again 24/7 like you did before, by wanting to be together too often and too much texting and too many calls to him.
It’s only been a week since the meeting and four days since he initiated the last text. Don’t be negative thinking it’s over. Don’t give up yet.
Just stay strong with no contact.I promise Patricia your responses are keeping me in a positive mind set so thank you. I just had a similar conversation with one of my friends whom is a male.
I guess the main mixed signals I was getting (and it could be me looking way into this) was his response about the lady friend having a 50/50 chance of being his girlfriend then the way he hugged me after walking me to my car(he hugged me like a buddy vs when he first saw me I received an embrace).
Yes, at dinner when he brought up the break up and even after he expressed how he still loved me and was in love with me.
I’m definitely a strong and patient woman so I can handle waiting and following through with the no contact period. I’m one when I want something I go hard to get it until there’s nothing left.
You’re reading too much into that friendly hug at your car. My gosh, he even said he’s still in love with you. That’s a great sign and very significant:) Now I’m going to guess (lol) what he meant by the other lady having a 50/50 chance. I believe he wants you to be his girlfriend again, but he’s afraid you haven’t changed enough for him to be happy. Over time you have to prove to him that you won’t ever smother him. Don’t be overly emotional either. If you can be happy and allow him to experience happiness with you, the other lady won’t stand a chance! What did your male friend think of your situation? Does he know your ex?
This is a difficult circumstance and you have a great attitude about it..
You are probably right about everything. I’m always looking too far into things and this situation is no different. I definitely want to show him I could make extremely happy especially by not smothering or making him feel like he can’t have his own personal time. My goal is to create a better relationship where he can breath without being smothered or feeling he’s abandoning me the second he does his own thing.
Right now I plan to be cool, calm and collective. Allow him to text me first and when he does not be overly emotional.
My male friend doesn’t know him and never met him but just gave me advice from a man’s perspective and insight on what I need to do as a individual. (we’ve been friends for 10yrs)
Yes, I plan to keep a positive attitude no matter what. I still haven’t heard from him but I won’t get a negative attitude about things.
These advice tips are truly helpful as before I was completely lost as what to do.
Hey Patricia what are some good healthy flirtation texts to send? And he just texted me ??
Let him make dates when he wants to see you and you could sometimes ask to see him too, but the rest of the time, you both do your own thing. Ya know? Not too much togetherness. Not too much texting or calling. You both need to breathe (so to speak). I don’t like the vulgar type flirting. But some people seem to enjoy it.
I can’t think of any flirtations now, except maybe end your text with “Lots of hugs and kisses” .. If you haven’t written that already.
I’ll have to think of some, lol.Today is day 4, but I guess it’s not really a no contact, more like little contact since he texted today and it would be a good idea to reply. However, don’t text for awhile unless he texts you first.
Ok I will totally follow those commands.
Yea, I don’t see us texting until possibly Wednesday or later in the week. Our conversation today was simple and casual with him asking how I was doing and what I did for the weekend.
I did flirt a little by asking him to teach me how to play spades (he told me he’d played it on Saturday). He joked with me acting as if he wouldn’t then replied saying he would.
I won’t reach out unless he does first.Definitely will continue to take it step by step. Feeling a lot more confident today. ????
Hi RichBeauty25, You’re doing so great! It’s like night and day the changes you’ve made and how you think about things. Who started the conversation? That was cute joking about him teaching you to play spades.
Yea, I’m definitely feeling more confident and I could tell in the conversations he is getting more comfortable.
He initiated the conversations by asking how I was doing then asking what I did for the weekend. Small little flirting which went well. He loves playing spades so if flirting about that went left then everything else was a no go. Lol
I’m hoping for date number 2 though. *Fingers crossed*
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